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Charged with Drink Driving
PurpleDaisy2114 · 01/09/2019 15:23
Hi all- I should have joined this thread much sooner. I have been charged. With drink driving and have a pending court date. I can't believe it has taken this to make me wake up to my behaviour. The alcohol consumption has been increasing last few months and whenever I'm out I'm always the most drunk, I don't know when to stop.
I like how alcohol makes me feel, the way it turns off all the voices and thoughts and stops me being so awkward and self conscious. I definitely self- medicate but after spending a night in a police cell the stark reality has really hit me. I could have killed somebody. What was I thinking.
I'm not sure how to start to piece things back together. I have a family- dh and 2 children.
dylanthedragon · 09/09/2019 20:33
OP i wouldnt try to hide this from your employer. I'm a former civil servant and i think the reaction will be even worse if you attempt to hide a conviction and they discover it later If you have any level of security clearance, it will come up on your next review.
Hohofortherobbers · 10/09/2019 08:30
My relative didn't stop drinking after the dd charge, carried on through the loss of the marriage, access to children, job and very nearly their life before a 'future without drinking' stopped looking 'so depressing' and became the only way to survive. It's amazing how low a rock bottom needs to be.
timshelthechoice · 11/09/2019 19:23
Unfortunately because you have a court date coming up you'll need to come to terms with it sooner rather than later. Just knowing you made a mistake isn't enough - it's also mitigating damage by getting proper legal representation and informing your job if your contract requires it. Aside from this there is the fact that you've got a real problem with alcohol and seem to be in denial about it, which is very dangerous and self-destructive.
Because you are facing charges, the luxury of taking time to 'come to terms with it' has a term limit.
timshelthechoice · 11/09/2019 19:26
Some of the comments on here are the reason why I've told so few people IRL.
I'd really keep that post from the reporter in mind because the fact is that convictions are a matter of public record, so it's really do you want them to hear it from you or somewhere else (for the ones in your life who matter, that is)?
WitWicky · 11/09/2019 20:05
As @dylanthedragon mentioned, you really do need to inform your employer as it's a contractual obligation in almost all civil service roles.
In reality, as your job is not dependent on you holding a license it is not going to jeopardise your employment immediately, but it is your security clearance (renewal or upgrade) where this will be flagged up to your employer. Each department's security team reviews any clearance applications where issues are flagged and will make a decision as to whether to whether a conviction can be tolerated or not, within very well defined guidelines. They do check with HR if it is evident that the conviction has occurred during your employment in the CS and failing to have notified HR could lead to disciplinary action.
timshelthechoice · 12/09/2019 15:44
Have you engaged legal representation? Hope so! And told your employer? You are thinking you can just take your alcohol problem at your own speed, dicking around with drinks diaries and not going to AA meetings even though you've been advised to, but you really don't have that luxury if you are facing a criminal charge, because that is what this is. I don't think the reality of this has fully registered with you.
Hopesorfears · 12/09/2019 17:38
Well since you first posted only 11 days ago I would think you shouldn't have moved on from the guilt stage to be honest. You are so very lucky that there aren't bodies on your conscience, and you only have to deal with the legal side of your actions.
It's good you now have steps planned, but you do seem to be moving very slowly.
Trewser · 12/09/2019 17:45
You made a mistake. It is going to be inconvenient for people around you, but you were lucky that it wasn't worse.
If you start drinking again that is on you. If you think you don't have a problem, then you haven't learned from your mistake, which is tragic really.
MrsMaiselsMuff · 12/09/2019 17:51
If you have a problem with alcohol (and there's no shame in admitting that you do), you can't just cut down. It needs to stop completely, and that is on you, no one else. Why is the thought of no alcohol again depressing, what does it bring to your life?
I gave up drinking five or so years ago now. In hindsight I did have a problem. Giving up was the best thing I've ever done, and it will be for you too.
PurpleDaisies · 12/09/2019 18:02
I like how the initial phase of how alcohol makes me feel. It stops the incessant thinking, nagging and self doubt. That's why I don't want to give it up completely. I want to control it.
Alcohol is your sticking plaster. You’re not dealing with your underlying issue. You have to give it up.
timshelthechoice · 12/09/2019 18:07
It's already out of control for you, this is why by your admission it's been ramping up (alcoholism is a progressive disease), you have no off switch, you're always the most drunk, you were caught the next day and still nearly 2x the limit (and thankfully no one was hurt), your h is not getting RID of all the booze in your house, you are about to have a criminal conviction on your record that is going to be very expensive financially at a minimum (your insurance will be sky high afterwards, you will have to resit your test, an extended one, and pay for it, the conviction could impact your job). You are an addict in a very dangerous pattern of substance abuse. Until you are able to accept that, you will continue to be a slave to addiction and substance abuse (but hopefully no one else will be injured or die from that). Life can be so much better than this. There was an amazing post in this section from a woman who nearly died from liver disease due to alcoholism just a month or so ago, I hope you spend time here and find it.
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