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Alcohol support

Charged with Drink Driving

136 replies

PurpleDaisy2114 · 01/09/2019 15:23

Hi all- I should have joined this thread much sooner. I have been charged. With drink driving and have a pending court date. I can't believe it has taken this to make me wake up to my behaviour. The alcohol consumption has been increasing last few months and whenever I'm out I'm always the most drunk, I don't know when to stop.
I like how alcohol makes me feel, the way it turns off all the voices and thoughts and stops me being so awkward and self conscious. I definitely self- medicate but after spending a night in a police cell the stark reality has really hit me. I could have killed somebody. What was I thinking.
I'm not sure how to start to piece things back together. I have a family- dh and 2 children.

OP posts:

PurpleDaisy2114 · 09/09/2019 13:52

I'm trying to work out when/where my court appearance and offence will be made public. I still haven't told employer.

OP posts:

thekingfisher · 09/09/2019 14:00

You are not going to be imprisoned for this assuming you have no other drink driving conviction.
You will be looking at a 12-16 month driving ban and a fine which is likely to be between 1-2 weeks wages plus costs.


thekingfisher · 09/09/2019 14:04

if they ban you for 12 months or more - you may be able to have a drvigin rehabilitation course - which if completed will shorten the ban by about ¼.

Your court appearance may not be for some time (eg up to 6 months).
It is not going to be advertised - but a court reporter may report on it locally. Its worthwhile lettingg your employer now sooner rather than later - before you receive the conviction.
Do you have to drive 'for' work at all - or purely to and from


Hohofortherobbers · 09/09/2019 17:05

My relative was named in the local paper before the court case, perhaps because of the incredible amount over the limit they were.


OliviaBenson · 09/09/2019 17:09

You need to come clean with work as soon as possible.

Have you sought any help for your alcohol problems? They can advise on solicitors and support for you too.

You do need to stop drinking too, drinking just with DH is a slippery slope.


PurpleDaisy2114 · 09/09/2019 17:26

I'm not sure I can give up completely- the thought of no alcohol ever again is very depressing. I'm aware I need to get my drinking under control and look at the reasons why I drink. I have an alcohol assessment with an addiction service booked this week. My court date is also booked and within the next month.
I'm just thinking will my employer definitely find out? If I tell them bang goes any chance of promotion and reputation will be less than zero. I only drive to/from work, Job is not dependent on it.

OP posts:

PurpleDaisies · 09/09/2019 17:32

I'm not sure I can give up completely- the thought of no alcohol ever again is very depressing

Can’t you hang on to how you felt when you were stopped by the police? How you’ll feel telling your employer you were caught drunk driving and how you’ll feel if the parents at the school gate find out? Aren’t those feelings worse than not having another drink?

Really good luck. I hope the alcohol addiction service are supportive in helping to to kick this drinking for good or this wake up call would all have been for nothing.


mylifenow27 · 09/09/2019 17:53

I mean this in the least harsh way possible but if getting caught drink driving and all the things that go with it isn't enough for you to realise you need to stop all together then I think you have a bigger problem than you think you do.


thekingfisher · 09/09/2019 17:53

@PurpleDaisy2114 Look, i'm not sure what your role is - however you mentioned civil service - if your role is not driving critical - but you do then have a conviction it is worth discussing it with HR. Better that than it coming out at a later date or them seeing it in the paper. If it is the civil service they will have a good HR team.

An employer cannot (easily) fire you for a conviction that has no bearing on the role - and if you fess up and perhaps also discuss your wider issues and the fact that you are seeking help and support I cannot see whilst it will be embarrassing and incredibly difficult you will be in a 'far' better b=position than it coming out outside of your control.


eladen · 09/09/2019 18:00

the thought of no alcohol ever again is very depressing

Because you won't be able to escape your problems anymore or because of the lack of alcohol?


FusionChefGeoff · 09/09/2019 18:03

You presumably were aware that drink driving was illegal and yet you were unable to stop drinking at a safe level that night.

That suggests to me that you have lost control of your drinking and the alcohol is now in charge.

I would also guess that, unless you stop completely, it will very, very quickly creep back up to the levels you had reached - and then more.

This is based on my own personal experience plus the stories of many hundreds of alcoholics I have met during my own 6 year recovery with the love and support of AA.

It's worth giving them a call, you never know until you talk to them but they saved my life.


Hopesorfears · 09/09/2019 18:08

A week after you did something that could have killed someone and you're drinking again, I don't find that a sign that you've taken your need for support seriously. You obviously know that drinking isn't working for you but not only do it to excess (which could hurt you and your family) but made a choice to drive home (which could hurt all of the above plus anyone else's family).
I do not want to kick someone when they are down but you don't sound all that down, just worried about how being caught will impact on you.
Throw yourself into getting real life support with the drinking, I am sure this will help you in court as well to be hobest.


Hopesorfears · 09/09/2019 18:09

You could make this a positive turning point for your life.


Ginger1982 · 09/09/2019 18:32

Your DH shouldn't be drinking with you in the house.


timshelthechoice · 09/09/2019 18:33

Do you have to tell your employer? I don't drink at all, not because I had a problem with it but because I always got bad hangovers and as I got older, I developed GERD from pregnancies and alcohol really stopped agreeing with me, but it's pretty scary that you have this serious charge and still find the thought of not drinking a bad thing. You'll have an automatic ban at the least, you may have to resit both parts of the driving tests again and your insurance will be staggering.


PurpleDaisy2114 · 09/09/2019 19:05

I have been very down- had trouble concentrating and have felt so guilty about the impact on my family. I must confess though that the numbness has worn off slightly and I have tried to throw myself back into normal. It was so awful it all seemed surreal. I feel sick when I think about court.
I am very ashamed and feel like it may be safer for me to not drive again. I borrowed Dh's car last week and the responsibility and fear of causing an accident was tremendous.
Thank you for all your input- it is helpful.

OP posts:

PurpleDaisy2114 · 09/09/2019 19:06

Both eladen.

OP posts:

JesusHRooseveltChrist · 09/09/2019 19:26

OP, as a fellow Civil Service worker, I would be very sure of your contract T&C if you decide to not inform your employer. Especially if you do not declare and they find out anyway.
My contract, as well as our HR policy, states quite clearly that any convictions need to be declared. Conscious however that this may be specific to my role, and not necessarily Civil Service wide.


timshelthechoice · 09/09/2019 20:02

Wow, so you're still allowed to drive then before court? I thought it was automatic ban.


PurpleDaisy2114 · 09/09/2019 20:07

No timshel, I have licence at the moment.

OP posts:

PurpleDaisy2114 · 09/09/2019 20:08

Jesus I am supposed to tell them yes.

OP posts:

PurpleDaisies · 09/09/2019 20:12

Wow, so you're still allowed to drive then before court? I thought it was automatic ban.

She hasn’t actually been found guilty of drink driving yet. I wouldn’t be driving knowing I will certainly be losing my licence when I got to court.


AnyFucker · 09/09/2019 20:15

It looks like you are quite prepared to give up driving but not give up alcohol

Oh dear. You haven't learned a thing.


Ginger1982 · 09/09/2019 20:18

Why would you give up driving but not give up drinking? 🙄


JaniceBattersby · 09/09/2019 20:22

OP I am a newspaper reporter and I’ve sat through hundreds and hundreds of drink drive cases.

You’ll most likely be facing a year ban (possibly reduced if you’re offered a rehabilitation course) and a fine of 1-2 weeks’ salary depending on your means.

In our area, and most others, every single mags court conviction is listed in our weekly court report online and in the paper. It’s just a brief outline of the conviction and punishment with name, address and DOB. If it’s more interesting then we go to court to see the case and do a full report, potentially taking a picture outside court of the defendant.

Make all your social media totally private now and have your profile pictures as images of anything other than you. When I get my court list I google all the names on it and look at their profile pics. If I could see you were a civil servant from your profile then I’d be more likely to attend court.

I’d absolutely tell my employer before the first court appearance and you really do need a solicitor to mitigate for you to keep your sentence as low as possible.

I hope this is the start of a new chapter for your OP (and the booze needs to be poured/ given away. Not hidden)

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