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Alcohol support

Charged with Drink Driving

136 replies

PurpleDaisy2114 · 01/09/2019 15:23

Hi all- I should have joined this thread much sooner. I have been charged. With drink driving and have a pending court date. I can't believe it has taken this to make me wake up to my behaviour. The alcohol consumption has been increasing last few months and whenever I'm out I'm always the most drunk, I don't know when to stop.
I like how alcohol makes me feel, the way it turns off all the voices and thoughts and stops me being so awkward and self conscious. I definitely self- medicate but after spending a night in a police cell the stark reality has really hit me. I could have killed somebody. What was I thinking.
I'm not sure how to start to piece things back together. I have a family- dh and 2 children.

OP posts:

VinoEsmeralda · 12/09/2019 23:41

Sadly well said Bumbags....


OliviaBenson · 13/09/2019 06:35

Alcoholism thrives with secrecy. I agree that I don't think you hit rock bottom yet, the fact that you'd rather give up driving than drinking says it all.

Time to face up to this op. You could loose your job, and in the future if you don't tackle this your husband and your children.

I'm the child of an alcoholic and my childhood was awful. It's also not a static disease. You can't control your drinking, it controls you.


Tolleshunt · 13/09/2019 07:00

OP, please listen to the advice you have had on here. Go to AA. Follow the programme. Also see a therapist one to one to address the root cause of the drinking, to resolve the issues you have been using alcohol to numb. Unless you do that, you are unlikely to be successful in turning this around.


Lobsterquadrille2 · 13/09/2019 23:12

Hi OP, I'm another recovering alcoholic in AA. We say that anything (or anyone) you put before your recovery, you stand to lose. I can echo a lot of what @exWifebeginsAgainat46 said, and I wouldn't wish that on anyone. It's the progressiveness of the disease and the fact that you believe you control it, until you realise that it controls you. Good luck.


iMatter · 14/09/2019 06:54

Was it your lawyer who advised you to attend AA and keep a drink diary? If you're only doing it to look remorseful in front of the court to lessen your sentence that won't be enough to see you through this.

I really hope you can turn this around.

Good luck.


QOD · 14/09/2019 07:18

What I don’t understand (and no one else has directly asked) is why you drove drunk?
I’d understand if you were over the limit the morning after. But you actively went out, drank alcohol over the limit, clearly not just one glass ...
That’s what makes ME think you’re an alcoholic
I drink. Way too much too often and too fast. But I’ve never ever drunk driven ... BUT I’m aware I probably have technically been over the limit in the morning
Still not acceptable and I’m genuinely sorting myself out a bit
I’m not having a ‘go’ but explain why you drove ?


exWifebeginsAgainat46 · 14/09/2019 18:43

i’m going to hazard a guess, based only on my own experience, that it was a booze run. there’s nothing worse to an active alcoholic than not having enough alcohol. the trouble is, that as soon as you take the top off the bottle, this panic about running out begins.

you’re going to have to be brutally honest with yourself, OP. you need to understand that whatever the reason, or ‘mitigating circumstances’ you knowingly got behind the wheel of a car, drunk.

i’m not judging you. i’m telling you that you need to really think about this. preferring to give up driving to giving up booze is not a good sign.

i have arthritis, and have been on medication for it for around 3 years now. some 10 years ago, i was offered the same medication, at a much earlier stage of the disease. i refused it, because i would have had to stop drinking. it’s the very definition of insanity.

i have limited mobility now, and a lot of my joints are affected. if i hadn’t placed alcohol at the top of my priority list, i may have slowed the progression of the arthritis and my life might be different now.

AA taught me how to sit with all the awful feelings that led me to drink. left unchecked i would have been long-dead, either by the drinking or by my own hand.

make this your rock bottom, OP. rigorous honesty is what’s needed here. don’t let self-pity and shame trick you into continuing this race to the bottom. and don’t lie and obfuscate to try and mitigate whatever punishment the court hands you. your best thinking got you here. you need to change, and learn to be grateful that you are here at all, with nobody else killed or injured.


PurpleDaisy2114 · 26/09/2019 17:29

Have been banned for over 12 months but less than 18. Fine over £300 but less than £500. Not specific figs in case identifying.

OP posts:

PurpleDaisy2114 · 26/09/2019 17:31

It wasn't a booze run, was after night out. Just thought I was capable in all honesty.

OP posts:

timshelthechoice · 26/09/2019 17:32

I hope this can be a new start for you, OP. Life can be so much better and you don't need booze to live it.


timshelthechoice · 26/09/2019 17:34

I'm glad no one got hurt. I honestly think the drink drive level should be zero (it very nearly is in Scotland) that way there's no confusion at all. Would save lives.


QOD · 26/09/2019 18:02

So you did actually knowingly drink drive ? Scary - I hope you’re ok and recovering etc
As I said I drink too much but have 100% not driven drunk BUT driven in the morning 6 or 7 hours after going to bed drunk.
Which is almost as bad. And I’m trying


Drabarni · 26/09/2019 18:11

I agree with a pp if you can't give up completely you need support from AA and the court will want to see you are trying to improve your addiction.


poppym12 · 26/09/2019 18:30

When did you last drink alcohol OP? Any alcohol at all?


PurpleDaisy2114 · 26/09/2019 19:24

I have had 1 glass of wine today. Had definitely reduced intake since it all happened. I have attended an addictions mtg and found it really good. My drinking is much more mindful than it was.

OP posts:

Iggi999 · 26/09/2019 20:28

It's not even half seven yet Confused


ashtrayheart · 26/09/2019 20:56

Listen to those saying that the only way once you have crossed that line is abstinence.
I tried many times to moderate, it always crept back up. Over 2 years sober now.
I think the talk of 'rock bottom' is not helpful - most alcoholics have reached it, only to find another layer of bottom. Anyone can stop drinking at any time, regardless of how shit life has got.
I promise you life is better without alcohol, it really really is. I didn't do the AA thing but I know it's helped many.
My friend's liver is failing, her pancreas isn't working and she is regularly in hospital. She STILL maintains that she can just 'cut down' ! (Oh and she was banned from driving too). She started off like me, like you. Try a decent length of sobriety and see how you feel - all you need to do is not have that first drink Wink


PurpleDaisy2114 · 26/09/2019 21:35

Thanks ashtray.
Iggi- how is that halo? Sanctimonious comes to mind 🤦‍♀️

OP posts:

Iggi999 · 26/09/2019 21:48

Halo ? Are you having a laugh? Have you taken a look at yourself in the mirror lately? You're a drunk and you could have killed innocent people. I don't have to be Mother bloody Theresa to know that after that you need to stop drinking, full stop.


PurpleDaisy2114 · 26/09/2019 22:18

Iggi life must be so simple when it is so black and white. I made a huge mistake, I am paying for it. It was a wake up call. I know I was incredibly lucky that no one got hurt. I'm not a bad person.

OP posts:

Iggi999 · 26/09/2019 23:57

I never said you are a bad person. As for black and white - if you have a conviction for drink driving you should give up drink, I really think that is black and white. I'm not sure what you want from this thread it seems to be support to carry on drinking. The thing that is damaging your and your dcs lives. Crack on then.


Wildorchidz · 27/09/2019 00:01

It was a wake up call

If you say so. Not enough to stop you having a glass of wine by 7.30 on a weekday evening though


SherbetSaucer · 27/09/2019 00:20

Drink driving is inexcusable!!! The fact that you’re still drinking (no matter how you justify it) shows you haven’t learned a thing! You got off lightly and deserved a much harsher sentence in my opinion!

Would you be so nonchalant if you’d killed one or more people? Because you easily could have!


timshelthechoice · 27/09/2019 12:02

It's really sad, because you're still not seeing it, thinking you can moderate or 'cut down' and control it when by your own posts, you can't because you're an alcoholic, hence you're always the drunkest one there, you don't know when to stop, drink use ramping up. Just hope with the ban you won't kill someone's child with your car because you 'thought you were capable' to drive. Really hope England brings in laws as restrictive as Scotland's, where the limit is near zero, to save lives. If you're going to be an alcoholic, at least don't kill someone else by it.

Hope one day you can manage to stop and maybe be one of these amazing and inspiring posters like Shann and ex who have become sober.

I don't drink at all myself because it doesn't agree with my digestion and I always got horrendous hangovers but I have a couple of close friends who are recovering alcoholics and we have a wonderful time together, even going away for a few days together in November again in a caravan. It's so much fun planning walks, things to do, meal planning and never having to worry about waking up feeling like shit the next afternoon having missed the entire morning, wondering what the hell we did the night before and what we said, wondering if we're legal to drive, worried if booze is wrecking our health, all being able to make snap plans no worries if someone is still too delicate after a boozy night to go along.

Hope you get there.


user1497997754 · 29/12/2019 16:55

Some people can moderate and some can't one size does not fit all. Join Club Soda on Facebook and other problem drinking Facebook sites. You will get loads of support from like minded people. A A isn't for everyone and you need to find your own way and to find out why you drink. Wishing you the best of luck

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