Dad in hospital and I haven't been a good daughter

[Blueshape]

I work very flexibly and often have weeks where I barely work at all, but when I have work it needs doing "now" iyswim.

This week has been manic, which happens rarely but I've worked everyday with meetings until 8:30 pm two days.

I've only been to see him once and I've been letting my disabled mum take a taxi to visit him, then come home to an empty house.

I've been busy, but I could have made more effort, e.g. I did make it to running club once, when I could have gone there. BF has been round every evening, albeit late, and twice he bought dinner with him. I literally ate the food he brought and went to bed 😆 , but I could have squeezed mum or dad in like I squeezed him in.

I feel drained both with work and the emotional aspect of dealing with sick old people (worse for them no doubt).

I have a day out with friends planned tomorrow and feel like I should cancel.

Parents are both saying all good, don't put yourself out for us etc, but wwyd?

Gosh, to reply to this poignant post and not even offer condolences? You appear to just be a very thoughtless person. Some people are scatty and disorganised, but sweet all the same - you're not that vibe.

Sorry for your loss @harriethoyle.

Ok, a Mon- Fri week. Yes, I went to see him for an hour after I made this post. I did see him on Monday morning, but hadn't counted that as "visiting" because it wasn't.

I'm glad I'm keeping people entertained trying to catch me out. I think we've established I'm not coping very well but I don't think anyone's got me yet.

I think you need to go back and read what you've written. It's put you in quite a poor light and maybe that's not a fair reflection of you. It's all other posters have to go on though.

Thank you @JasmineMac i appreciate that

You also spent Most of yesterday with him. By his bedside

Yes...that was the "once" in my OP.

You sound quite proud of the fact that you have been such a crap daughter.

If you are feeling guilty about this, change it while you still can. One of my friends’ grief was severely compounded by the feeling that she hadn’t treated her mother well before she died. You don’t want to feel that way. The gym will still be there when your dad is not.

Sick old people ? they are your family , you are emotionally very cold , be careful this will come back and bite you on the bum one day

I took him in at 7am on Monday morning. I spent most of yesterday with him, I've been to see him this afternoon and brought Mum home, I've been in touch with him, Mum and medical staff everyday, and kept my sister up to day, had a difficult week at work, where I haven't been coping very well.

I was feeling guilty I hadn't found it in me to do more, but what exactly should I have done to be less crap?

Yes, I accept that, but I am clearly struggling and was feeling attacked.

Weird thread. Turns out only in since Monday, you have spent many hours with him, and clearly you don’t feel a jot of guilt (and nor should you considering all the time you have actually spent with him that sort of drips after the Op). Weird.

Well surely it depends on your relationship with your parents. My parents are bottom of my priorities and I don’t feel remotely guilty about that. They weren’t the worst parents ever, not the best, I just don’t particularly like them as people and my work/social life/pets/alone time are more important to me. If you feel bad though then do more. Do you a really feel bad though or just feel like you should feel bad?