Dad in hospital and I haven't been a good daughter

[Blueshape]

I work very flexibly and often have weeks where I barely work at all, but when I have work it needs doing "now" iyswim.

This week has been manic, which happens rarely but I've worked everyday with meetings until 8:30 pm two days.

I've only been to see him once and I've been letting my disabled mum take a taxi to visit him, then come home to an empty house.

I've been busy, but I could have made more effort, e.g. I did make it to running club once, when I could have gone there. BF has been round every evening, albeit late, and twice he bought dinner with him. I literally ate the food he brought and went to bed 😆 , but I could have squeezed mum or dad in like I squeezed him in.

I feel drained both with work and the emotional aspect of dealing with sick old people (worse for them no doubt).

I have a day out with friends planned tomorrow and feel like I should cancel.

Parents are both saying all good, don't put yourself out for us etc, but wwyd?

Ha! Looking up… I’ve been on two of the OP’s peculiar other threads she started yesterday and today

saw this one - was surprised by how incredibly flat out the Op says she has been given I have been on two of her other threads started hours ago!

I think you must be confusing me with someone else. At least be accurate with your oppobrium.

Yes I did see him yesterday for quite a long period. I said I'd seen him once.

I've also been on MN too much at work, but I couldn't have used that time to visit.

No I am asking you genuinely?

@DeftGoldHedgehog OP literally asked wwyd. I’m telling her what I did from very recent experience 🤷‍♀️ which was not to prioritise running club or going out with my mates.

No, as I've said I spent a lot of yesterday with him.

But you also said but I've worked everyday with meetings until 8:30 pm two days.

No I wasn't. I said I had two late meetings, they were Monday and Weds...Sherlock.

I really can't remember. I don't start many threads at all. But when my mum was very ill last year I often felt "flat out" when I wasn't really, as my head was so busy.

Enjoy your plans @Blueshape
🤷‍♀️

For everyone who needs clarification. I took him into hospital at 7am Monday, was at work until 8:30 Monday, I went straight to club after work on Tues, I was at work until 8:30pm on Weds and I was with him most of Thursday. I've done some work and had to take my car for a MOT today, then went to see him and bring mum home.

I have done some work everyday. I also said I work very flexibly.

Yes, I think that's a large part of it. Plus menopausal focus difficulties.

Well, you do you. I found it very helpful to keep to my regular exercise classes and yoga in particular helped with grief and low mood. I hope you have something like that to sustain you at this difficult time. Being nasty to others on the internet is not the answer though. You've already had one comment deleted.

If you don't feel guilty, why did you post?!

But you’ve labelled yourself as being ‘not a good daughter’, and then when people are agreeing with you, you’re getting really defensive. I guess you wanted everyone on here to sympathise with you so you could justify to yourself that you’ve not been neglecting being with your dad.

Sunday is fine OP. Don't let people guilt trip you in to cancelling your friends tmw- your sister will be there.

Well, I was just clicking to report the comment and it was deleted. I guess at least one other person and/or the mods took exception to it. So think on.

😂😂😂 good catch 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻

What was it that offended you about it?!

“Think on” 😂😂

Not really, I've explained that the meetings weren't yesterday or today and I have in fact been to the hospital both those days.

I don't know what post you're referring to. I haven't reported anything but it sounds like others did.

I wasn't offended and I can't even recall what you said now. Just found it rather unnecessarily unpleasant and unhelpful to someone in difficult circumstances, and I guess I wasn't alone in that opinion.

At 16.39 today, you said you've only been to see him once in the week he's been in hospital.

At 18.34, less than two hours laters, you are saying he hasn't actually been in hospital a week but only since Monday and you took him there, you were with him most of yesterday, and today you have also been to see him and to bring your mother home. So you have actually seen him three times in five days.

One has to ask...... what is the point of you starting this thread?