Dad in hospital and I haven't been a good daughter

[Blueshape]

I work very flexibly and often have weeks where I barely work at all, but when I have work it needs doing "now" iyswim.

This week has been manic, which happens rarely but I've worked everyday with meetings until 8:30 pm two days.

I've only been to see him once and I've been letting my disabled mum take a taxi to visit him, then come home to an empty house.

I've been busy, but I could have made more effort, e.g. I did make it to running club once, when I could have gone there. BF has been round every evening, albeit late, and twice he bought dinner with him. I literally ate the food he brought and went to bed 😆 , but I could have squeezed mum or dad in like I squeezed him in.

I feel drained both with work and the emotional aspect of dealing with sick old people (worse for them no doubt).

I have a day out with friends planned tomorrow and feel like I should cancel.

Parents are both saying all good, don't put yourself out for us etc, but wwyd?

Going to work and finding some time to eat?

It's not like I haven't been at all, and I have been in touch with Mum and the hospital daily.

Yet here you are. If four posts by a poster are "droning on" then you have the attention span of a toddler. If you find a thread boring, you are not obliged to read on.

And pretty much constant mumsnetting according to your posting history!!

You posted every hour on the hour multiple times from morning until night yesterday

flat out were you?

Fwiw my sister, who hasn't seen him at all yet due to distance, is coming tomorrow so that I can go out, and see him on Sunday. She recognises how hard it is to be the one always on call.

Thanks for putting me straight, mum.

Respectfully as you're asking, your post reads a little lacking in empathy and self absorbed on a very difficult week for your parents. I think you could have done a little more to help your mum.

As I said, I haven't had a good week with the focusing.

One of your threads being offended that the dodgy bloke at your club who messages all the women doesn’t message… you!

NOT what you said in your Op

You have been working flat out all day every day with late meetings

you weren’t in a meeting at 8pm last night… you were on Mumsnet!

Droning?

I have had a lot of work, and I have had late meetings. I haven't applied myself very well, but I've had to be there.

And they’ve permitted you mumsnetting in the office all day? You could have asked to visit your dad

actually you said you saw him yesterday?

Thank you @Livpool @101Alsatians - I hope so. I read his favourite book to him and now I’m finishing it alone, which is so hard.

I think you needed to do what you needed to but even your title means you have done guilt so yes, I’d cancel the friends, thrr er all understand

So now you’re saying you were mumsnetting yesterday all day whilst you were at the hospital with your dad? 🤔

I'm sorry for your loss but it's not ok to try to make the OP feel guilty, nor anyone else who may have a sick relative just now. More often than not they wait for relatives to leave the room to pass away. My DM took a week to die at home (our home) and while I did spend a good deal of time with her and played music and read to her, it certainly wasn't hours at a time, as I know she wouldn't have wanted me to, and we all had to get on with normal life as well, as best we could. The important thing is that we had many years of quality time together when she was well.

Yes, I'm pretty autonomous (that's part of my problem, no moneky on my back). It doesn't take "all day" to make a few posts though.

I don’t understand what you want from this thread

A sympathetic ear? 😆

You said you were mumsnetting all day yesterday because you spent the day by his bedside?

When my parents were very ill, Mumsnet was a great distraction. In spite of nasty comments like yours.

The Op is now saying she actually spent yesterday all day with with him mumsnetting

very strange

Yes but did you start a thread about how you’ve been flat out busy from morning until night?

And here you are on Mumsnet, looking up the posting habits of other posters to catch them out! Don't you have anything better to do than being snidey on the internet?