What do parents typically pay for for their adult children?

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This is just me being nosey really and seeing what other people’s families are like. Question as in the title, what do your parents pay for? Ours pay for holidays, meals out and clothes for the grandchildren. If I have money when we are older I would love to treat our children and grandchildren and pay for things for them. If you’re the parent/grandparents, what do you pay for for your children? I’m on about adult children that don’t live with you. I know some grandparents pay mortgage payments and school fees! I’m not so much asking on opinions, I know peoples opinions will differ on this.

Also pay for a short UK holiday for all the family once every 18 months. As the grandkids get older we will pay for a holiday abroad.

Do people think inheritances & trust funds are wrong? or paying school fees for gc?

Do people think inheritances & trust funds are wrong? or paying school fees for gc

Yeah, I think I do really. It just perpetuates inequality, doesn’t it.

Modest amounts, I understand, but massive amounts feels wrong to me.

It definitely perpetuates inequality & it’s very hard to get on the same playing field as people with family money but i’m not sure it makes you less of an adult.

So what do you think people should do with their money if they’re not allowed to give it to their children and children?

My middle class and reasonably off parents never paid a penny for me after I left University. Iirc my Mum gave me £25 per month when I was at Uni (early 1980s!) and I had a part time job 1 day a week earning about £40 per month. And that and my tiny grant got me through. My Dad, divorced from my Mum and a hell of a lot better off didn't give me anything extra.

In later life my Mum was willing to loan me money if I needed it (luckily never happened) and would always want to pay if we went out for lunch or dinner - maybe 3 or 4 times per year.

My Dad - nothing.

34 now, parents haven’t paid or contributed to anything financially since I started working full time at 18

Exactly. Why wouldn’t I make life easier for my children?

I find it so weird that so many people seem to object to it. It just makes no sense

DS and his partner live in a property which we inherited; they pay us rent but very much below market value. Does that count? When we sell it, we’ll give them some money towards a deposit. DH and I also pay accommodation costs for joint holidays, so I guess that’s subsidising again.

I am amazed at all this! My parents are middle class and have no financial need (usual stuff for their generation - no mortgage on their house, some invested savings (a fair bit - to the tune of a few multiples of £100k) and generous pensions to live on, but have never given me any fiscal support since uni. They paid my rent during uni (had a loan to pay fees and live on) which was great, and since then (I’m mid 40s) once contributed £1000 towards a joint holiday we went on because they’d picked the hotel and I said it was a bit steep. They ask me to transfer the money to them if they buy me a coffee out 😂. It’s just never occurred to them I think to pay for stuff since I started working…. They have however always been v supportive non financially.

Nope. My parents in their 70’s still work 40 hour weeks because they want to see their family do well. In laws are in their 80’s but again still work and thus earn an income. Can’t manage 40 hours now though. Probably down to between 10-20.

Both have spent their lives working 50+ hour weeks. Very few holidays. No splashy lifestyles. Decent cars but not range rovers etc.

Both sets are helping with school fees. But we also work long hours, planned our family carefully and invested early so so far have not needed the help.

I fully plan to do the same for my children if I can.

the caveat to that is that we work hard and I expect my kids to do the same. I’ll pay for their education but then they’re on their own for a bit. If they are, as Dave Ramsey would put it, behaving then we’ll do the same. Would I do it for a child that doesn’t work full time, spends money like water and drives a flash car - probably not.

My parents paid for my divorce, the odd holiday, saved up for each grandchild until age 18 and pay for the odd family meal. I am very lucky and both children had a pension started for them by my exH when born. Personally I think 18 is too young to gift £1000's these days. 25 more sensible.

Once university finished nothing. They are however welcome to live rent free here

Both of them have more money than me so I don’t pay for anything. Well I pay for coffee/lunch but nothing major or regular.

I am a grandparent of young adult DGC. I always bought most clothes and took them on outings to seaside, museums, swimming etc. When I went on holiday with them, I paid half.
I am a single pensioner with a small pension and my income is too low to pay for the big items other people here do. Not all pensioners are rich!

In 30 years my parents have paid for 2 big holidays-of-a-lifetime that none of us could have afforded otherwise.

They bought my DC's pram and gifts etc, the usual grandparents spoiling DGCs but I bought everyday clothes, uniform etc.

My dad usually pays if we go out for dinner but it's spoons or a carvery so not £££

I can't afford uni fees or a fixed monthly sub but DD gets a grocery shop whenever I visit and of course the works when she comes home. She has a PT job to support herself at uni.

I've just bought my 33 year old daughter an electric wheelchair at 2 grand.. so gave my other daughter 2 grand towards whatever she needs. I gave my two eldest grandsons a thousand pounds when they turned 18.. 3rd one turns 18 in November he will get a Grand. I help pay towards holidays and always treat my Grandkids. Eldest is a single parent.. working but has 3 sons at home ..1 working 2 with ADS and physical problems. Youngest in the wheelchair.. ld give them the world if l could.

I will never let my mum pay for anything and I’d be having words with any of my siblings who did. She raised us and it’s now our turn to treat her. I take her on holiday every couple of years, me and her, normally a city break. I don’t like her helping with childcare tbh she’s done enough, but if she wants to take them on a day out she can or have a little sleep over, but they know they have to be on their best behaviour for granny or there’s real trouble.

As for my dad? That’s a different story. He has always pays for my dinner whenever we go out and he has our kids one weekend a month. He would probably be offended ifI tried to pay for dinner whenever we are out with him to be honest. I will say I think he does so much childcare because he feels bad for being an alcoholic when I was a kid and to be fair he kind of does have a bit of making up to do. I wouldn’t let him pay for any large purchases though it would feel wrong. He does still slip me £5 “for a treat” when I go pick my kids up though which is really sweet. He also sometimes brings food round, like if he sees some meat for a good price he gets it from himself and will get me some because he knows I love a bargain. I do the same for him.

My dad and brothers also all work in the trades so while I wouldn’t take money from my dad, I will put the old guy to work. Tbh if I called out a handyman that wasn’t him he would absolutely be mad at me and probably call me a traitor.

The odd meal, coffee or petrol money if I take my mum to visit a family member 4 hours drive away. But nothing else. And definitely nothing of value. She can afford more, but she doesn’t offer, as she doesn’t like to spend money in case she needs it.

I am honestly shocked by some of these answers. I am all for helping your kids out in an emergency or of really really needed (and feeling you can go to your parents for help if you need it), but surely fully grown adults should be helping their parents/taking them for meals out, treats etc and not the other way round, especially if they are of pension age now? Although it may be that im just shocked by how wealthy some people's parents are!!

My parents, nothing. But my Dad isn't a nice man and my Mum is skint, so I've never expected anything. I would treat her if we went out these days, I can probably afford it more comfortably. We don't have a good relationship though for complex reasons sadly, so don't see each other much.

DH's parents often pay if we go out for dinner together which is lovely of them. They have also taken the family on holiday a couple of times over the years for their big birthdays - again, really lovely of them, they are lovely people.
When my kids are older I hope we can afford to do similar, I wouldn't hesitate.

These replies are so so interesting !
My parents didn’t pay for my uni (accommodation or fees) and I lived at home and paid a small rent as I was saving for a house. They didn’t help with house deposit but bought things for our new home and helped with moving. Each of our parents gave us 3k for our wedding. Also paid for big ticket items like pram and nursery furniture for grandchildren. I feel very lucky but also have some friends who receive a lot more and some friends who receive a lot less, if anything at all.

I get £20 a month pocket money. I started getting it paid into my bank account at 15 and still get the same amount at 38.

When I was in my 20s my parents gave me £24k for a house deposit. Never had any money before that or after. In fact DM ran a book with all the money I owed her for bits and pieces she bought and I said I’d pay her back. At one point I had a standing order set up to clear the IOUs.

Im grateful to be honest. The house deposit was the foundation to us moving up the ladder to where we are now. And the lack of cash from them the rest of the time really taught me financial independence.

MIL is the opposite and has very little but chooses to give us £50 every time she sees us and pays for meals and occasional day trips out. She says she likes to make memories with us and see us enjoying ourselves.

Im not sure how I’ll be with my DC when they are older. I’d like to think we can help them with uni costs and/or a house deposit. But beyond that it’ll be the odd meal out and uk holiday potentially.

I do know a family where the Grandparents pay to rent a big house every Christmas complete with pool etc for the whole family to gather in for a few days. Would love to be in a position to be able to do something similar