What do parents typically pay for for their adult children?

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This is just me being nosey really and seeing what other people’s families are like. Question as in the title, what do your parents pay for? Ours pay for holidays, meals out and clothes for the grandchildren. If I have money when we are older I would love to treat our children and grandchildren and pay for things for them. If you’re the parent/grandparents, what do you pay for for your children? I’m on about adult children that don’t live with you. I know some grandparents pay mortgage payments and school fees! I’m not so much asking on opinions, I know peoples opinions will differ on this.

My parents send me about 5k a year and I’m almost 40.

However I am also autistic and unable to work full time as a result of that so I think they see it as a way of topping up my income (I run my own business).

In the past they have also paid for things like a new oven or tumble dryer, though we’ve never asked - it’s always just been offered or they’ve put the money in my account anyway.

They also supported me through university (accommodation and living costs), paid for my first car and let me live at home rent free as much as I needed in my twenties.

No grandchildren yet, but I will probably be a nightmare grandparent and buy way too much lol.

Today I've bought a pair of tickets for me and adult dd to see a show in London next week, and we recently lobbed her a few hundred quid to tide her over as she's recently changed jobs and there's a payday calculation difference.

My parents..nothing. I don't expect them to.
Pil have paid for a few things because they wanted to.

Edited to add - years ago my parents helped me pay insurance for my first car and also gave a share of an inheritance. But that's pretty much all since I left college. They helped with college.
We would all give presents / take turns paying etc now.

I guess it’s not about ‘should’, I don’t expect either of our parents to pay for these things but they do e.g. PIL book holiday and pay for in full and then tell us after they’ve done it. I don’t feel like they should and I don’t think they feel like they should either but they want to.

my kids are 21 and 23, one at uni one working minimum wage. For the uni one I don’t contribute to her expenses as she takes the loans and works over the summers. I pay for food when she’s at home and if we go out I pay. My son I might get him a grocery shop when I visit, and if we eat out I pay. We went on holiday to visit family abroad at Easter and I paid. Going forward I expect to give each of them help with a deposit on their first homes. In future I’ll help out if they need it and if I can afford to. I’m not an ATM though and my son recently had a fender bender costing £500 and I paid it and he’s paying me back every month. One is great with money one not so much.

Who said it’s expected?

My parents don’t pay for anything, and they didn’t help out when I was at uni either.

Who said it was expected?

And no, I’m not remotely embarrassed - why on earth would I be? 🙄

It’s never ending 🙄, honestly we have r children’s- eldest 2 are my stepdaughters but I raised them from a very young age so they are as much mine.

they all need different things at different times, my youngest has mental health issues and lives with me, she pays me a small rent each month and helps I. The house apart from that I support her whilst she sorts out her life.

the others, I have the children set days of the week, some more than others, the days I have them I collect from school then give them dinner pack lunches for the next day etc, I often have a meal ready for the parents to take home for their dinner too - most nights I’m cooking for 3 adults 2 or 3 children and then a take home for 2 adults.

i buy all the grandchildren their new winter shoes and coats, there summer shoes and help with uniforms if needed. I often buy them clothes as well as the mood takes.

I often do a weekly shop for them when we go shopping, I just pay when we get to the till, or if I know moneys tight I’ll book a delivery for them to help out.

if their are short at any point they know they can ask for help, if I see they are struggling I’ll send over some money to help out, only today my son asked for me to “ lend “ him £300 for new car tires / mot. We often lend money and they pay back monthly interest free, often after a few payments I’ll tell them it’s enough depending how much it is and what for. I probably won’t take any payments for this 300, he hasn’t had much lately, I’ll tell him tomorrow it’s not a load, his sister had a couple of hundred last month for something so it all sort of works out,

I do try to keep it fair between them all, but it really is who needs it and when, but as I say it sort of works out.

We try to treat all 4 adult DC equally (age 18-35, blended family) with value of birthday gifts, uni allowances, small ad hoc nice things etc. Help with deposit when it’s time to buy a home; will do anything to help if they’re stuck but don’t take away their agency.

Aged DPs are worth a lot more than us, but don’t offer to pay for anything - not meals out, treats, nothing - their meanness makes us feel used & taken for granted. However their attitude has taught me what to avoid with my own DC so I suppose that’s a gift in itself!

My parents dont pay for anything for me, im an adult with my own job/salary its my turn to treat them! I took them out for a posh dinner a few months ago and i paid, not them. Im always a bit surprised when people talk about grandparents buying uniforms etc, if im honest id feel embarrassed not to be providing these essentials for my children myself

Not a penny.

I’m the adult child, married with my own children. We have nothing from either side (my parents or PIL). We always pay for ourselves or our share when we eat out together. We are very unlikely to inherit anything from either side and we didn’t have any help with uni or buying our house etc. It would be particularly odd to us to accept anything from our parents because we are the most well off and financially stable by a long way.

On the odd occasion they might buy my DC a colouring book or a magazine but that’s rare.

We are already making arrangements to ensure that we are able to be more generous with our DC.

My DPs supported me through uni but since I’ve been working, they’ve not given me anything except for £50 for birthdays and christmases. I’m 50 now.
I didn’t realise some DPs pay for holidays and cars etc for their adult children

Nothing.

My parents and MIL pay for nothing, they buy Christmas and birthday presents.

My DF had the gaul to sit in my home this year and express they had so much money they couldn’t imagine where to spend it!

meanwhile we talked today about how none of the living grandparents have ever even once asked any of my children to come over for an evening meal.

I expect as they’re are cruising steadily into infirmity they will want to have lots of family around to offer care and visits. I also expect them to keep wanting.

This is adorable!

Tell us you’re not a parent without telling us you’re not a parent. 😂. It’s called love and kindness and generosity. It’s actually really quite nice 🤩

Blimey. If they say that again you could say ‘don’t worry I’ll write you a list..!’ 🤣

Families don’t build wealth if they don’t pass it on. Why would anyone be embarrassed. Not to mention in some places it’s the only way to get on the housing ladder.

I moved out of the parental home as soon as |I was financially able to and never asked anything else in financial terms from my parents. Once you have flown the nest as a fully fledged adult then its a sign of failure to go cap in hand to parents. Going it your own way teaches resilience and responsibility.

When I rang to tell my mother that I (first in the family to attend uni) had earned a 1st class degree her response was "Well I suppose you'll be coming back to Liverpool now but don't think you can live here free while you look for a flat and find a job." It was with some glee I told her that I would be staying on at uni to do a Masters and that I had already been offered work teaching there.

I never returned. If I'd been selfish enough to have children I would probably have done the same once they were adult. Its called tough love.

We pay for DS car tax, MOT and insurance. We share any premium bond winnings, pay for joint Netflix and any health related expenses, dentistry glasses etc. He's moaning now about dog insurance, so we will be paying that soon enough.

Our kids are back at home again, youngest has only just graduated, we pay for their contact lenses, have them on our car insurance and won't charge any keep for a few months. Eldest was paying us board but has just gone back into full time education, so now lives with us for free and gets fed, any other expenses are down to them. I am not planning to subsidise either of them in any other way on an ongoing basis. My parents didn't for me when I left home, I didn't expect them to!

DH’s parents pay for random things. We’re not struggling financially nor do we ever ask for/expect anything. They’re just very generous, lovely people and he’s the apple of their eye (only child).

We will definitely continue the tradition if we go down the baby route. There’s nothing lovelier than helping out your child. I can think of few better uses of money tbh.

My dad has never paid for anything, my mum will occasionally treat us to something like paying for our MOT or some new cushions, or a takeaway. My grandparents give us a lot, a few grand towards a new car, meals out, random cash whenever we visit - but they're very well off and can afford to do so.

I have three children all with different financial circumstances. One child who is a high earner I pay for meals out,gifts for new flat etc
Another child struggles with making ends meet ,has a very good job but not well paid so occasionally send a few hundred quid to help.
Third child I help with after school clubs ,trips out and clothes .
Absolutely not big items but anything to help with general day to day living.I love my children and just try to help when I can .