If you were ruler for a day, what minor irritations would you fix?

[Enko]

If you were ruler for a day. What minor thing would you fix.

I am not here talking stuff that would have long lasting political impact or getting rid of people permanently I am talking the smaller irritants that makes your eye roll and you are like "someone should do something about it"

Well for one day you are that someone what would you do?

For me. Potholes on my road and roads near by to be fixed (I would say all but I dont think 1 day would be enough time) but as many as they could manage in each city for the day

Also I would have someone drive around the towns cutting back hedges that are 1/2meter to 1 across the pavement. I know they would look shite after butthat's my minor irritant.

All people under 70 who do not work, to do some unpaid community work each week
Such as

Litter picking
Gardening/plant swapping/growing
Cleaning
Telephone befriending
Pet sitting
Repair/reuse of old items/ fix/mend
Help out a community project
Various volunteer opportunities in community
Food & clothes waste reduction sharing

All sinks in public toilets must be big enough to properly get your hands in, with taps that hang far enough from the side that you don't have to bash your hands to wash them; and those taps must give 20 seconds of flowing water with one press, so that you can actually rub your hands together to wash them properly - like we teach toddlers to do as standard - without having to use your elbow.

Pop-ups that only offer options of 'Yes' or 'Maybe later' will be forced to add an option saying 'No, not now or ever - bugger off!', which will stop the pop-up from ever appearing again. Lists of results on search engines and in drop-down boxes will also be banned from deliberately skipping up after a moment to make you accidentally click on the option that the website owner/advertiser wants you to choose rather than your actual choice.

There will be a maximum ratio of swear words to normal words allowed in all conversations. Anybody who repeatedly (following two warnings) uses swear words as needless punctuation, every other word they say, will be identified and have their minds re-programmed to automatically change all of the swear words to mildly amusing family-friendly ones, such as 'sausage', 'banana', 'spatchcock', 'pants' or 'windy-woos', that will make them clearly sound as silly as they actually are.

An old fashioned social etiquette course taught by somebody like William Hanson to be included in medical training. The art of polite conversation for the difficult situations which can ensue in those professions.

Dentists in particular, should be taught not to start highly charged political debates with a patient when they have their jaws clamped open and their gums numbed.

But generally, they should be taught how to say things. No high falutin' psycho analysis needed, just common courtesy to phrase something like, "I think physio could help with your gait" instead of, "You're walking like a pirate, ha, ha!" and, "I really don't want to hurt you with this EMG needle" in place of, "I'm not a Nazi!"

(Real examples from my life.)

They can be polite when they feel like it, after all, when it benefits them.

We've all heard, "Might be a bit uncomfortable" and, "It can be rather invasive" when they want you to agree to excruiating pain in advance.

I think they would actually enjoy it. Especially if at the end of the course, they graduated with a big champagne fuelled garden party. Prosecco even. NHS budgets and whatnot but I think the courses would pay for themselves in the long run.

Ban motorbikes and vehicles that have deliberately noisy exhausts.

Dentists in particular, should be taught not to start highly charged political debates with a patient when they have their jaws clamped open and their gums numbed.

Surely they must get utterly bored of endless conversations with customers telling them about the time they parked their car far from a bar in Armagh?!

Please run the country. Or at least your local council.

I’m being totally unreasonable I realise, but I would ban tractors from being on main roads at rush hours. We live in the sticks and can be stuck behind tractors for 7 miles on the route into work. I try to channel my husband’s advice that they are feeding the country, but my blood pressure doesn’t agree.

Oh Lord yes, those types who have to fussily stow their umpteen items of coats, jackets, duty frees, etc., while everyone’s fuming behind them….

I would ban listening phones/laptops/iPads without headphones anywhere public.

Is that Father Ted? Or Derry Girls?

I'd ban television adverts for online gambling.

As another pp mentions - get the ruddy potholes sorted out.

Possibly - but much more so people you encounter in everyday life who do it. At least, if a TV programme isn't for you for any reason, you can choose not to watch it!

Including 68 and 69-year-olds?

To have an actor speak Trump/Farage/Polanski, any other extremists' words, like the BBC had to with Sinn Fein spokespeople in the 80s

If people are walking towards me taking the whole pavement, I just stand still and wait for them to notice and one of them to make space. So far no one has mown me down!

I totally agree on litter - this country is becoming depressing (see also graffitti and tagging). The worst litter I think is at inaccessible but visible places like roadsides, as no one is ever going to pick it up. There is a park near me which has regular litter picking, but there are some areas behind wire fences that can't be reached and are getting full of rubbish. It could lie there for years.

I would ban the work commute unless it was absolutely critical, and small talk

Ban scented/flavoured vapes and electric scent diffusers.

I hate them both with my whole soul.

I agree with all of your points @Enko but especially the cutting back of over hanging trees and bushes .
On my rout to work I have to walk on the road or duck under blackberry creepers , hawthorn bushes and other trees.
I think once each plant / tree has stopped producing flowers / fruit they should be cut back to behind the fence line that they are growing over.
I have tried notifying the council but it's either , nope it's private land , ( 10 + yrs ago abandoned building)
It's not enough of a problem ( ducking low under a tree when I am only 5'.5" tall ) or some other sodding excuse.

Rant over

I hope Andy Burnham is reading this. He can add it to his 'stay popular with quick life quality improvements'.

He could effect one each weekend in conjunction with a new tiktok.

How on earth is pet sitting "unpaid community work"? And cleaning or gardening? Where?

Back when EasyJet had unallocated seating, people would board from the front, choose seats near the front and block the aisles putting their stuff away. Boarding took ages.

I have no idea why the crew didn’t make an announcement. “Once you have chosen your seat, please sit down immediately with your luggage. Once everyone has boarded, those who want to use the overhead lockers will be able to do so. We will let you know when you can do this, so remain seated until the next announcement.”

I came to say this!

I'd ban all dogs from shops and places that serve food too. (Actual REAL service animals aside)

I would also make it a crime punishable by hard labour for home owners to snitch to the LL if their neighbours were renters. If you both owned you would have to sort it out between you. So why do you think you are better when you are just in debt to the bloody bank?

I'd ban putting labels on the soles of shoes, so that nobody would forget to take them off and be embarrased in public ever again for such a slight oversight.

That happened to a young woman in an office I once worked at. It was a bitchy place at the best of times but the constant remarks about her forgetting to take the stickers off her new shoes on the first day in her new job was so bad that she left after a week. I've never forgotten it.

And yes, I did stand up for her but my word carried no weight anyway as the bitchy gang bullied me as well. I just didn't care as much.

Also, the way they tried to insult me was by sending me out for coffees to the café at the top of the road because, "I could balance a tray from working in pubs and nightclubs."

Suited me. I could waste a good half hour at least on that pointless errand. Talking to the waiter, reading the paper, watching the telly. Lowlife barfly that I was.

Agree with all the pp about heavy fines for playing phones out loud on public. I would make it a £200 fine with a ban from all public transport until this is paid, and immediate eviction from the train /bus. Second offences would be punishable by a year long ban. Third offences a permanent ban.

I would make it mandatory for supermarkets to have at least one checkout manned while they are open.

I would put a limit of one betting shop per postcode

All roadworks to be carried out at night under floodlights, with exceptions where the floodlights/noise would cause disturbance such as residential streets.

Bus and train companies fined if their services are persistently late /cancelled, with escalation if they continue

Grotbag teens who throw bricks at cars to be tried as adults and their parents also held responsible