Adding trellis to stop neighbour intrusion

[RosesAreRed85]

I live in a 4 in a block. I'm top floor and my garden (private) is the one shown on the left of the photo, surrounded by the fence. Neighbour is beneath and the window shown is her bedroom window. Both fences are mine, previous owner paid for them and for them to be erected.

I get on well enough with downstairs neighbour however the issue is that every time I go out to the garden, she comes out and chats, for a good half hour. She's elderly and I get that she just wants to chat, I have no problem with a short chat now and then, but last time I was out there, I had a whole day free when DC was at their dads and so wanted to get cracking on the garden, she came out 5 separate times, 3 times to chat for ages and will sometimes stand watching me from her bedroom window, which is a little awkward.

I'm not sure if it would be unreaonable of me to heighten the fence a little to give me privacy? I don't want to completely block her light, just her view into my garden! I was thinking of popping a trellis on top, so that light still gets through. Maybe pop some climbing flowers on it. The taller fence that can be seen is 6ft tall, i was thinking of matching the trellis height to this. Local planning permission dictates 6ft 6 inches is the limit that you can have fences, so I don't think I would be breaking any local laws. I'm sure she will complain as she's quite fixed on how she thinks things should be, so I'm not sure if it's unreasonable of me to do this?

Putting in a higher fence or building a trellis is all much harder work than simply telling the woman “I’m busy, I don’t have time so please let me get on. Bye”.

Do you not want to have to say this?

How high is the fence now? I thought 8ft was the maximum without pp and yours only look 5ft so a trellis along the top would be fine. I hate waney lap fencing anyway so would certainly be planting climbing plants and large shrubs to hide it.

Headphones and don’t ever answer her when you have them on. Just pretend you can hear her.

Put the trampoline there 😂

Trellis will be fine, it’s your garden and you’ve got a right to enjoy it without constant intrusions. The big square ones aren’t horrible to look at and still let light through.

Don’t block her light that’s unfair.

just say hi every time you see her but if busy say sorry youve got to get on lots to do today. Then on days when you have less to do have a little chat.

I have an elderly neighbour who is also a friend, I would never do something like that to her.

No you can’t put a trellis there , why can’t you just say to her when she starts chatting that you need to get on as you have a limited time to garden etc or put headphones in . What you are suggesting is completely anti social and you can’t moan about her watching you when you knew the window was there before you moved in .

I don't think the fence thing will work. But I totally understand your need for privacy. Of course we all want to be courteous to our neighbours, especially the elderly. But it's not your responsibility to keep her occupied all day. Especially when your child free time is precious to you. You're just going to have to say to her, oh hello Mary, sorry I don't have time to chit chat today, the kids are away for a few hours and I really need to get X finished. Have a lovely day, see you later. She will probably be miffed, but again, that's not your responsibility.

The taller fence in the picture is 6ft. The smaller one outside her window, I don't know, maybe 1 metre?

A trellis can be looked through and talked through
Yes, I imagine she'll just peer through the gaps and maybe get a box to stand on so she can see over the top as she's chatting!
You could create a raised bed below then plant something which grows fast and tall like bamboo - this means it's already higher off the ground to start with, IYSWIM, so it will be the right kind of height soon enough. Something leafy but not too solid (ask a gardener!)
However, I echo the PP who said it's better to explain to her and don't stop what you're doing when she starts yapping ...be pleasantly assertive, wear headphones...she may be a bit offended but she should get the message.

I’d plant a climbing rose about 1m to one side of her window - keep it about 7 foot high. She’ll have mountains of beautiful flowers and it will create some natural screening

What’s very weird is that she is watching you from her bedroom window!

Plenty are telling me its a fine idea also and mamy others have come up with alternative ideas that I'm looking into ie retractable privacy screen, shrubs etc.

Can you explain why the specific trellis that I linked to would cause bother ie block light?

The woman obviously has no self awareness and everyone has a right to some peace and quiet in their own garden. This would drive me insane and I would have to tell her that I needed some quiet time and privacy. She might take exception and get huffy but at least you would get what you moved there for. The alternative is to carry on as you are or maybe the silent treatment? People hate it when they get no response and she might actually take the hint.

Probably more a case of am I asking for trouble than being unreasonable. It’s just so close to her window that this is bound to cause conflict. Maybe just plant a shrub for privacy but maintain the height of it so it obscures her view but doesn’t block light?

I think she has a right to light but not a view (I’ve had letters from proposed developments opposite my flat seeing if I would oppose on basis of losing light) - so I think privacy measures further into the garden are better, pergola, tarpaulin or washing line + the big headphones that you point to when she starts chatting

I would work out the eye height of the neighbour from inside her property and see what curved trellis is just tall enough to block her view.

Also plant something climbing to grow up the fence as a reason for erecting the trellis.

Similar to this but doesn’t have to be as expensive
https://www.charlesandivy.co.uk/products/classic-blossom-curved-top-fence-panel-teak-concrete-posts?variant=43721202860248&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=20104728441&gbraid=0AAAAABbluVkWNeB44zvIDXq4ZXP7UxQot&gclid=Cj0KCQjwhsrUBhDxARIsAN3AQSfAdqQHZgmKV5O4UiT9mjX_4KppSq7TvsvAL0GuHwTJJQuGTAheNawaAus1EALw_wcB

Is that little patio area hers? Is that where she is talking to you from? How wide is the gap/walkway between your fence and her window? And how deep roughly is the patio? I am struggling to understand the layout because the photos make it look like there is no walkway under the window and that the patio is just a few steps deep. If that is the case I think cutting off her light is a real concern but I can see why you are fed up with the intrusion. If camera angles are making me read this wrong I might have something more helpful to add!

You’re right. She should just stay indoors all day and not go near her windows or go outside to talk to anybody. Perhaps there’s a sealed cupboard inside she could be locked in to to stop her being…erm….normal?

I would either dig up a bit of the grass in front of the fence, and make a small border, or just plop a raised box bed there. A few plants, something really low maintenance (lavender maybe, or some of those lovely purple lilies) and not high, but creates a kind of boundary. If you went with the raised box idea, you could also try planting some stuff with ds, he may enjoy that. Not too much work at all, if you buy ready grown tomato plants for example.

She is an old lady and probably lonely. I wouldn’t block her light and view

I think you would be unreasonable, no one wants a trellis that close to their window, of course it would feel horribly claustrophobic for her even if a bit of light came through. And if she’s permenantly pissed of you with she might become even more of a pain. I think you just need to accept that this comes with the type of garden you chose to buy and as others have said get better at asserting your boundaries re conversation when you’re out there.

Is she entering your garden without permission?

Who said she shouldn't leave her house? I said I didn't want her hanging over my garden fence talking to me for half an hour at a time every time I go out, nor standing hanging out her bedroom window speaking to me. Where did I say anything remotely like the nonsense you've just posted? I think you're the one who isn't normal based off what you've just posted. Read back what you've just wrote and have a word with yourself. Really. I doubt you'd say anything like that in real life to someone, you'd be too embarrassed.

There really are some strange folk on the 'net.

I would be absolutely furious if someone erected anything, even if it didn’t block light, right outside my window. If you want a war with your neighbour this is a great way to start it. I personally would just be direct but polite with her when she comes out.

Hi neighbour, I hope you don’t take this as rude but I’ve got lots of gardening to crack on with/im playing with my child/Im reading my book so I’d prefer not to be chatting.

@LittlePinkRabbit's idea of a washing line is simple but effective. Even a whirligig line would give you a lot of privacy but she would probably not appreciate you hanging all your washing right in front of her window. So maybe put a whirligig line up first then install another barrier "to save you having to look at our washing"!

IRL that is far too contrived. But I think if you're going to offend her a bit by putting up some sort of barrier, you might as well make it one that actually gives you the privacy.