Adding trellis to stop neighbour intrusion

[RosesAreRed85]

I live in a 4 in a block. I'm top floor and my garden (private) is the one shown on the left of the photo, surrounded by the fence. Neighbour is beneath and the window shown is her bedroom window. Both fences are mine, previous owner paid for them and for them to be erected.

I get on well enough with downstairs neighbour however the issue is that every time I go out to the garden, she comes out and chats, for a good half hour. She's elderly and I get that she just wants to chat, I have no problem with a short chat now and then, but last time I was out there, I had a whole day free when DC was at their dads and so wanted to get cracking on the garden, she came out 5 separate times, 3 times to chat for ages and will sometimes stand watching me from her bedroom window, which is a little awkward.

I'm not sure if it would be unreaonable of me to heighten the fence a little to give me privacy? I don't want to completely block her light, just her view into my garden! I was thinking of popping a trellis on top, so that light still gets through. Maybe pop some climbing flowers on it. The taller fence that can be seen is 6ft tall, i was thinking of matching the trellis height to this. Local planning permission dictates 6ft 6 inches is the limit that you can have fences, so I don't think I would be breaking any local laws. I'm sure she will complain as she's quite fixed on how she thinks things should be, so I'm not sure if it's unreasonable of me to do this?

I would hate this. What about some fast growing plants to put in planters, that way you can move them around if needed? I have for example a butterfly bush (super fast growing), a curly willow (fast growing) and red robin bushes (also fast) in pots so I can move them around without worrying about roots and if I picked the wrong location for them. Could try bamboo in pots too.

Honestly ours was brilliant 👍

That is an awkward layout, I can see how it it encourages her to talk to you because it’s almost communal and yet it is your garden. You could start with a breezy ‘just need to get on with this Jane,’ before putting anything physical up because it would be an obvious barrier.

I think it would cause more upset to put up the trellis than to make it clear when you’re not up for chatting. I’d do a screen of some sort around a seating area so you have some privacy. something like these?: https://www.wayfair.co.uk/home/pdp/forest-garden-living-screen-planter-home-delivery-eajl2034.html

Then just wear headphones and have a short conversation then say something like “lovely to speak to you! I must get on with sanding now so won’t be able to chat”. Then just sand and if she attempts to talk just point to the noisy sander and make a 🤷🏻‍♀️ gesture to show you can’t hear with the sander and carry on. Or if you’re just gardening, then put headphones on and say lovely to chat but you’re getting into the zone with gardening and listening to music, apologetic shrug then turn your back and ignore. I think you just need to reset boundaries a little. I’d keep the trellis as a last resort. I like the idea of a retractable screen too.

A quick, temporary solution - install a rectractable washing line across the width. Peg out some sheets when you go outside. Use a prop to support the weight and increase height if necessary.

Alternatively, install some fence posts at 6ft intervals, Secure tarpaulin to them using cable ties in the eylets only whilst you're out in the garden. Cut the cable ties off and remove the tarpaulin as you go back inside. There's no longer term issue with blocking anyone's view.

If you wanted to make it look a more like a decorative feature, you could use some ornate posts and decorate them with solar lights or hang bird feeders on them, or grow climbers up them. It will take up very little space in the garden, and be less obtrusive than a trellis for your garrulous neighbour.

I had similar with a very nosy neighbour, wasn't lonely had regular visitors. Had been warned by others what he was like. It was funny at first then but he couldn't resist peering through knot holes in the fence through my shrubs. Talking about himself, bitching about others, opinions on EVERYTHING he talked AT me. Conversation was one side until I began to feel stabby. In the end I told him to talk to me and if he spoke to me I would ignore him. I ignored, he didn't speak but would still spy on me at every chance he got. He probably knew my work routine better than I did, when I went shoping, how long my car was out, who was visiting me.
When he died I heaved a sigh of relief. Just wasn't bothered.

I don't know the legal ins and outs with the fence, I guess you'd have to check, but I fully sympathise with the chatty neighbour.

Mine doesn't work, she's about 55, I work from home, and every time I step into the front or back garden (not much of a space at the front, so not possible to hide) she jumps out, "HELLO!!!" and she will talk ALL day if you let her. I work 7.30am to 6pm, with one hour lunch, and I am very strict about my hours. I need to use my lunch hour to walk my dogs. But if I step out to let the dogs out for their wee, pull the bins in and out on bin day, etc, there she appears.

I have genuinely never known anyone to talk so much. Then, because she's alcoholic, she forgets everything you've talked about the next time you see her.

If I say I have to get on, I'm busy, she says "ohhh I know exactly how that is!" (no you don't, you don't work) but then she'll gossip about me to my partner, yes my partner, "why does she hate me?" "I heard her slagging me off" (no you didn't because I don't).

I know your neighbour is elderly, and it is nice to say hello and ask after her, but don't let it take over your life, because it can!

I always find it weird how we're all shoehorned in like sardines in this country and then expected to get on with each other because of it.

Agree, I think that going to a trellis/barrier as first option is likely to cause upset, politely ignoring would be a good first step.

I lived in a flat like this and hated it. The lady next door was lonely, never went in her garden but soon as i stepped out she would appear with her child. My son was a toddler at time and think they felt they were being helpful but it made going out stressful no peace and her kid would try to take my toddler out the garden! They moved away so don't know what solution is maybe headphones? I used to take radio out and just turn it up I felt was being rude but had stuff to do!

I would create privacy with planting.. putting a bed along the fence would give her a view of lovely flowers etc, but would create some distance for you. Then you could put some physical barriers within the garden to create a private area in which you can relax

I specifically bought a flat with a private garden so I could enjoy some quiet time outside

But you didn’t buy that, you bought a garden with a massive overlooking issue. That’s not your neighbour’s problem, it’s yours to deal with.

Lol you would really do this rather than set some gentle boundaries around chatting? If youd be happy to upset her (and what you're suggesting is so clearly a big FU) why not just say "no time to chat"?

Okay, hard to see from the pic, I get what you're saying. It would be cruel to block her light and view completely though - you need to become more assertive at ending the chat. Headphones are the way to go.

I don't think any one else has suggested this, but I may have missed it if they have. I'd get a washing line. Put a pole up maybe a foot from your fence at each end, then have a couple of sheets handy to peg out when you want a bit of privacy to play with your son. At least then it isn't blocking her view all the time.

Headphones. Wave when you see her then carry on with what you’re doing.

Agree with bamboo pots- don’t plant it out or you’ll never get rid.

It does look like the garden was originally intended to be communal but somewhere along the way, it was carved up between the flats. The illusion that you have purchased a private garden, is simply that.. an illusion.

I get your point - but excessive chatting is not the only issue. The OP is being watched from the neighbour's bedroom window which looks right out onto the garden. Nothing but a physical screen will address this. A temporary screen has the least impact on the neighbour's overall view, for the shortest amount of time.

I don’t have any solutions but just wanted to say I feel you, I would HATE this! It’s too much. I live in a house now with high fences so don’t have this problem anymore, but during Covid I lived somewhere with a low fence and during the warm weather I loved going outside to relax with a book, and my neighbour would ALWAYS come out and start chatting and I hated it.

What’s front with growing shubbery against the fence or alternatively creating a pergola walk way on your side ( you can buy the kit) with vines around the posts eg passion flower, honey suckle and jasmine, Yup could trellis your garden side facing. The attentive is growing pretty pleached trees.

Wear headphones and gesture to them if she tries to chat. Alternatively, when she starts to chat just say ‘hi, would love to chat but I need to get on with this’ then turn away. That’s much less rude than putting up a trellis blocking her view!

I bought a garden which is overlooked. I was aware of that when I bought it. It may not be my neighbours problem however that doesn't mean that its ok for her to come out every time I'm in my garden and talk at me on and off all day.

It certainly is an issue that needs careful consideration. I had similar with a next door neighbour once, not the adult but her pre school child. As soon as she heard my French door open she would be out and calling my name and chatting nineteen to the dozen. I had a stressful job and just craved some 'me' time in the garden. Her Mum thought it was marvellous that the little one liked me so much. More like she liked the free babysitting!
Tbh I feel equally for your neighbour and you. I don't think you can put anything on top of the fence in front of her windows. It will soon be winter so maybe just say I've got to get on after a couple of minutes. Good luck

My title deeds state that it is a private garden, I have sole ownership. The gardens have been divided up like this since these flats were built.

Earphones, or to make it obvious, headphones. Ignore if you hear her over them. Then if she approaches you, act like she's scared the bejesus out of you to make more of an impact of how she's interrupted you. Tell her you're listening in to a work meeting and need to be aware of what's being said so can't stop to chat.

Also, nice shrubs, something that you can keep trim about a foot taller than the fence so it won't impact her light or be too obvious you're making a barrier.

It's a stupid idea but you seem completely unwilling to listen to anyone telling you so.

You are trying to avoid a single awkward conversation but you will have a hell of a lot more awkward situation to deal with when you put a bloody trellis in front of her window.