Changing child's surname following absent parent

[HowToLifeASafe]

Hi there,

I'm speaking to a solicitor this upcoming week to discuss changing my child's surname from my ex partners/his absent dads, to mine.

Has anyone done this? Any tips? Google says it can be quite tricky.

Thank you!

Thank you so much. He does have PR. In your experience, is it extremely unlikely that this would be permitted? Thank you for the tips, I will make notes this afternoon while my child naps! My child is only 2 so isnt aware, but i feel strongly given all of his family have my surname, ie grandparents, cousins, we have never had contact with any of my ex partners family who have the name, etc. I know he will know that we are his family but it would be nice for that to be reflected in his name, given i am his primary (and only) parent.

This is the impression I was under too, ie theyre starting to accept that a person who is abusive towards their partner/ex partner may also be abusive towards the child, if a child sees the verbal abuse etc.

We did a name change but added a surname...double barrelled.
It is a pain in the arse as they oearn to write and the mouthful.
I wouldbt change it i thibk a boy shoypd carry his dads name absent or not..seems rsther spiteful when one day je may return.
Seriously.

@LegaldeskMy 11yr old DD’s Dad has been 100% absent since she was 1 and I have a Prohibited Steps Order preventing him removing her from my care as he has PR. I have zero clue where he is or how to contact him, not even an email address. So if I applied to court to have her surname changed to mine, am I likely to be forced to double barrel or do you think they’d accept it? Thanks so much

Spiteful? When one day he may return?

Do you understand what you're saying?

Why do u think this?

You’re amazing, thank you so much!

wouldst change it i thibk a boy shoypd carry his dads name absent or not

Why only boys? Why should men get to brand their children when women are the ones literally risking their lives to bring them into the world?

Children have been named after their mothers for hundreds if not thousands of years. That women weren’t legal beings and were literally the property of men for a couple of hundred years and branded as such by their fathers and then husbands surely isn’t what we should be aspiring to today?

sounds dodgy. Be careful, OP. You don’t know who anyone is on here. this username has only been active for a few hours.

Eh?

What was deleted? I'm worried now 😅

This advice is incorrect. The Court granted my DS’s change of surname to my own. There were no safeguarding concerns, the dad was just absent and had been for a long time. The surname did not align with my DS’s identity and served as a reminder for him every time he heard it of a man who abandoned him.

Most ridiculous post I have read for ages. It’s spiteful for a child to have their name changed to align with the family they have grown up with and who have met all of their day to day needs and loved them - in case the absent parent decides one day, if they can be arsed, to stroll back into their child’s life? Speak for yourself. Or save your ire for the parents who abdicate all responsibility for and contact with their own children and don’t care if they are dead or alive.

Same situation as you (DD’s Dad been gone 10+ years) May I ask how much it cost you to get this done please?

Thats good news. How long was he absent for before the name change?

LegalDesk’s posts have been deleted because he/she made it clear on another thread that what looked like a kind offer to help via a DM was actually an attempt to solicit paid clients from MN.

Oh, thank you. I have an appointment already on Wednesday with a solicitor so I'm not in a position to pay two people. Thank you for clarifying as I was thinking all sorts!

They basically said you were “only 1 DM away from getting expert legal help”………

I think it was around 2k, because I didn’t want to self represent. I also had to pay for mediation ahead of the court hearing (which the absent dad obviously didn’t attend 🙄)

A cafcass officer was appointed, but never visited my DS to ask his wishes and feelings.

I have my appointment tomorrow, I've made a few pages of notes, ie when he left, the times he saw our son, we he last saw him, when we had mediation etc. I've also made a list of questions, ie has it weakened my position that I havent attempted to initiate contact since like October time.

I've been thinking of a "best of both worlds" option, asking the solicitor to write to him to discuss double barelling our son's name. Then I can revisit in the future when he has been absent for a longer time, my child has more of a say and my case may be stronger. I'll see what happens with the call, but that seems to be my view right now, I dont know how he could reject that!

It is not on you to try get him to see your child that is all on him so that wont go against you. Hope it all goes well for you and it is a reminder to us all why if possible we dont put these losers on the birth certs.