Holiday mum keeps sending her son over to us repeatedly

[ItsPriya]

Currently on holiday - 2 week AI with husband and teenage daughter. Had a really busy year and was really looking forward to downtime and just recharging with the 3 of us.
On the second day was relaxing by the pool when a little boy about 4yo dropped his goggles near my lounger. Threw them into the pool for him, he threw them back and we had a little game of catch with them. Really sweet kid, thought no more of it.
Went to the buffet that night and the boy appeared at my feet as I was getting my food, started pulling at my arm, hanging off me whining "play with me" and asking me to go outside with him to play?!
My daughter came up to me and said she'd been passing his parents table and heard the mum say "he's whinging because hes tired, I told him to go play with that woman from earlier." Laughing and drinking while I'm trying to get my food and stop her kid from getting lost or hurt.
Went to sit down, said "I'm eating now, so go back to Mummy." Watched him go back over, his mum looked really annoyed, said something to him and he came back!
He said "my mum said I can sit with you until you're done then we can play."
Tried to eat but he was non stop, picking things up, touching things, whinging - not my child, why am I dealing with this?!
In the end DH walked him back over and firmly said we were trying to eat. Mum had the nerve to ask if our daughter had ever been a toddler.
Anyway, he harassed me at the entertainment that night to the point we left as I couldn't see his Mum so dropped him with the entertainment team. Makes DH very uncomfortable as he's very full on, climbing on our knees, wrapping his legs around us.
Breakfast this morning - he's actually waiting at the double doors and it was a repeat of the previous night. I actually suspect Mum is hiding from us.

What do I do?!

Crikey she’s bold.

the only way to resolve it, is make it more of a problem for her. Every time, get a member of staff and say “this child is alone and I do not know where their parent is”.

the absolute cheek of her

You need to be firm and set the boundaries straight: you aren't engaging or looking after their child for them, period. Otherwise she'll continue as she's pbviously sure you're willing to give in. Be harsh if necessary, she's being rude.

Agree. Take him to a staff member every time
he comes over to you.

i know someone like this, she is from a very wealthy family and not rough at all. She dumped her children on anyone who would take them, anywhere.
She once left her baby with a complete stranger on the beach on holidays in Spain and went for a run. She has left her children with anyone who would take them, even when they are sick. Even if they had no car seat, and even if she just met them.

She was absolutely shameless. On big family occasions she would get a glass
of wine and turn her back and not even look at her children, just let someone else worry about them. She would roll her eyes if anyone brought the children back to her, and would not even flinch if someone said ‘look after your own children’.
She was absolutely made of steel and she would not have a problem doing something like this to another couple, in fact she would say ‘oh they absolutely loved our son and he played with them the whole week’

This has reminded me of an incident over 20 years ago. DH and I had taken DS 3 to the seaside.
As we walked into the sea shallows to jump him over the waves we were joined by 2 slightly older children who also wanted to play in the water with us.
We couldn't see any parents so kept an eye on them and played at water's edge for a while ( Looe so not rip current danger ).
After a while we walked back up the beach and the children went over to two women, presumably mothers, spread flat out on loungers, sunbathing.

We were too shocked and naive to say anything.

Lazy moo? What does that mean?

I used to work in the travel industry and this was what we saw as the most dangerous scenario and cause of death… parents not parenting on holiday and expecting others or staff to do it for them and the child ending up in a pool and drowning. It beggars belief why parents don’t parent!! Don’t have kids if you don’t want to parent.

She’s calling the mum a lazy cow - which she is. But let’s not forget the dad is also a lazy cow! The child is the responsibility of both parents

Be careful Op, parents like this see no wrong in their behaviour and can get nasty when challenged, she'll say you encouraged him and her friends will back her up. It's a pain but the boy choose you because he can see you like DC, something he's not used to, even at four he knows his own DM isn't that fussed about him. I'd try to be out more, hopefully they'll leave soon

🙄

Really? Even if you don't get the reference surely you can work it out from the context.

Deposit the child at reception and tell the staff the child is unaccompanied and not safe wandering around alone.
Then carry on enjoying your holiday

I would just calmly return the little boy to his family and say 'your little boy got lost so I am bringing him back to you'. If it happens again, take him to hotel staff and say that you want the number for local children's services because this child is not being looked after safely and honestly is at risk of drowning. There have been so many drownings in resorts this summer and the hotel will NOT want that to happen on their premises. Possibly a chat from local police might solve the problem?

The same type of parents that if they saw me in a local pub or restaurant and their kid was in my class (I’m a teacher) they’d send them over to sit with me!

I think it's important to tell staff that you categorically did not agree to look after the kid and that you have nothing to do with him. The CF mother can easily say you have agree to babysit and make yiu responsible if something goes wrong.

Do not talk to parents. Firstly, tell him to go to his parents; if he wont, take the boy to reception and explain he is not being looked after.

You sound lovely - I’m afraid I’m much meaner!

I used to go to the park/playground to spend precious time with my child, not to entertain others. If the children were playing with mine I’d happily watch over them but several times we’d get the intrusive “watch me, watch me!” Older child who didn’t want to play with mine but just wanted parental attention. There’d be a parent scrolling their phone on a bench somewhere and I always told them to go back.

“I’m sorry, you need to go back to your mummy now.” Every single time.

It was absolutely inculcated in my childhood that you shouldn't speak to stranger adults. This was in the wake of the Moors murders, but it's hardly as if terrible things haven't happened to kids in the following decades.

Apart from the fact children like this little lad are being neglected and put at risk from hazards like water, the people who are expected to mind and entertain them could be literally anybody (no offence to OP or others who've been in the same boat) Total madness.

Agree with others @ItsPriya , hotel staff every single time.

I hate people like this. I wonder why they have kids at all. Poor child.

We had similar at a French campsite. The couple next door kept telling their kids to follow us and our DC to the beach, the pool, the games area.
It came to a head when we found them sat on our outdoor veranda one morning waiting for us to get up as their parents had caught a train to the city for the day and told them to hang out with us.
DH went to the campsite manager who actually called the police. It's so annoying though as there is then an atmosphere.

OMG - that's unreal !!!

Er. He’s a child. And she’s a mother. And a kind person.

Yep, as others have said, keep taking him back if he won’t go himself. Tell him his parent should be looking after him as strangers aren’t safe

I’ve had this from another child but on the school run, after school ends. In the end I ended up saying, please go away. I don’t want to play with you. Go back to your mum now. Everytime I saw her I stopped smiling and just frowned. You’ll have to do the same thing. But if you’re on holiday I would actually give him to a member of staff, saying this child is lost! Everytime! Then they can realise how often he is wandering alone and have a word with his family.

For the people saying stay in your room a few nights or eat elsewhere a few nights - why? I mean the op has paid for her holiday and is only there a short time. Maybe they can only afford the AI they paid for. Either way it is NOT on the op to deal with this its the shite parents that need to although it would be scary knowing you could get backlash but jesus the poor OP should not have to ruin her own holiday either.

How did it go OP?

just stay politely telling the boy “go back to your parents, we don’t want to play with you.” Speak to staff.

Spot the Aussie! I love "crikey you're bold"
Hope last night was ok op. I used to help run a little playgroup, kids couldn't be left until they were 2, and then only for short periods. It worked well, allowed us to run errands/have a peaceful cuppa. We knew all the mums and kids socially too.We had one mum, who no one knew(which was fine) Started coming when oldest was two and always tried to leave. Youngest was about 18 months and velcro. She once ducked to the loo and didnt come back for 40 minutes. Youngest was howling and banging on the doors. As soon as she was 2, she dropped and ran every time. The poor kid screamed her head off everytime, it took one helper to be with her. Mum couldn't have given less of a shit.(and yes she was a single mum trying to cope with two young children but she wasn't the only one). Never said a word of concern or thanks for us dealing with her child screaming for two hours every week.(we were just volunteer mums btw). But the rules were that they could be left after two so she did.
Why even bother going on expensive holidays with your kids if you dont want to enjoy it with them?