Holiday mum keeps sending her son over to us repeatedly

[ItsPriya]

Currently on holiday - 2 week AI with husband and teenage daughter. Had a really busy year and was really looking forward to downtime and just recharging with the 3 of us.
On the second day was relaxing by the pool when a little boy about 4yo dropped his goggles near my lounger. Threw them into the pool for him, he threw them back and we had a little game of catch with them. Really sweet kid, thought no more of it.
Went to the buffet that night and the boy appeared at my feet as I was getting my food, started pulling at my arm, hanging off me whining "play with me" and asking me to go outside with him to play?!
My daughter came up to me and said she'd been passing his parents table and heard the mum say "he's whinging because hes tired, I told him to go play with that woman from earlier." Laughing and drinking while I'm trying to get my food and stop her kid from getting lost or hurt.
Went to sit down, said "I'm eating now, so go back to Mummy." Watched him go back over, his mum looked really annoyed, said something to him and he came back!
He said "my mum said I can sit with you until you're done then we can play."
Tried to eat but he was non stop, picking things up, touching things, whinging - not my child, why am I dealing with this?!
In the end DH walked him back over and firmly said we were trying to eat. Mum had the nerve to ask if our daughter had ever been a toddler.
Anyway, he harassed me at the entertainment that night to the point we left as I couldn't see his Mum so dropped him with the entertainment team. Makes DH very uncomfortable as he's very full on, climbing on our knees, wrapping his legs around us.
Breakfast this morning - he's actually waiting at the double doors and it was a repeat of the previous night. I actually suspect Mum is hiding from us.

What do I do?!

Very cheeky of her

Take him over to his mother and tell her that you don't want to babysit for her . I wouldn't worry one bit about what the kid or the mother think of me. Pity your DH didn't tell her to fuck off .

They should have left him at home if they can't be bothered to look after him.

@MademoisellePraline I remember being on holiday once with our daughter when she was about 4 and playing happily in the kiddy pool under close supervision of both myself and my husband when a little boy, about the age of 2, started following her around. This went on for about 20 minutes. We looked around but no parents to be seen anywhere so made lifeguard aware. Apparently it happens more often that you'd like to think - parents put armbands on them amd wander off for lunch etc.

Urgh I’d be sick of this too. Also feel bad for the kid.

Say what you need to, you won’t see them again.

I’d walk him over to his parents and introduce myself, ask their name.

‘Hi, ‘Julie’, lovely to meet you. Your kid is cute. However, they are not my responsibility and I won’t be engaging with him any further. Don’t send him over to me again. If you do, I’ll call a member of staff over and report him as a lost child. Have a lovely holiday’.

And I would turn and walk away.

I'd get the staff to intervene, every time.

Take him to hotel staff every single time.

You take him to reception and leave him with staff telling them you don't know this DC but he keeps following you and he needs to be returned to his parents with message look after your DS.

Yep! Do this.

If you do hand him over to a member of staff, don’t say that you are concerned about his safety - unless you really are. Say that he is disrupting your meals and you are choosing to leave the entertainment. This is your holiday, you are allowed to enjoy it.

I remember people doing this to me and a friend when we were 17. We didn’t complain to the staff because we were in a pub and were underage. But I still remember it. It’s bloody shameless to hear someone telling your child to go back to their parents and carry on as before.

If no mum in sight walk him to a member of staff and say this child is lost.

Thanks everyone. Been out all day today on a boat trip excursion so no sightings- been bliss! But now we're all back getting showered etc I've started panicking - which is absolutely ridiculous, panicking to leave my hotel room because of a child!
Mum is in the nicest way possible, quite rough. They're quite a large group, very loud, intimidating, the little lad appears to be the only child with them.
DD really wants to go to the entertainment tonight, it's some sort of game/challenge show that she's signed up for so I'm going to have to take all of your advice and go to the staff as I'm not loving the thought of a confrontation with the Mum! Hopefully he won't see me/bother me.

I wouldn’t be involving members of staff, tbh - I can imagine they’d be a bit

I would be more inclined to just be honest and say something like ‘look, he seems like a lovely kid and we don’t want to hurt his feelings but honestly we want to relax without being interrupted.’

You have to be blunt.

"No - go away. You need to go back to your family"

Its hardly going to scar the child for life.

I feel very sorry for him, his parents are idiots. You could be any kinda predator for all they know.

Id just take him to staff and say this little one is lost. No more games

Every time he comes up to you, take him to a member of staff at the resort and explain he is not your child and you don’t know where his mum is if you can’t see her. If you can see her take him over and say firmly “this will be the last interaction i
have with your son I am here on holiday with my family and I don’t feel comfortable with this situation, goodbye”

from then on you continue to hand him to a member of staff, say he’s lost and walk off without interacting with him. They will get the message quickly when you don’t put up with it.

This has happened to me before - I work with kids and like them and they like me. Before I had children of my own, DH and I went on holiday and I played a bit with a child in the swimming pool.

After that, his parents kept sending him over to me! I’m not great at confrontation so I just started avoiding areas where he and his family were or leaving when they’d arrive.

It’s very inappropriate of the parents. Are there no kids for him to play with? Hopefully he’ll befriend one.

What would happen if you say to him “I don’t want to play now. I’m spending time with my family instead. But you can play with your mum and dad or another child.” ?

I agree with the previous posters to take him to the staff as a lost child. Hopefully they'll force the parents to take better care of their child.

He's looking for you because you were kind to him and he probably doesnt get shown much kindness or interaction based on your descriptions of his family. It makes me so sad for him! What kind of life is he going to have when his parents clearly don't give a shit about him and are ignoring him while in a busy hotel, in a foreign country, next to swimming pools. Awful.

Trying to think how you could handle this as she’s clearly not going to take it well.. you could say you’re a social worker and having a break from neglected children (or that you’ve don’t feel comfortable having children on your knee) 🤣 but I do know the type of person you’re talking about. Let’s hope they are only there a week. I think you’ll need to blank the child to the point of rudeness to him or befriend another family so that you can have strength in numbers if she gets arsey.

I’d tell him you can’t play as you are on holiday but tell him to ask the staff. Keep sending him to them. Someone will get the hint! I hope there is a kids club op! Poor child.

How shameless of the parents, I feel so sad for the little boy. You'll just have to keep taking him back to them every time he comes over and say you're not on holiday to babysit her kid. Yes she won't be happy but so what?

Very loudly with your hand up, "Who's child is this? Lost child here! Lost child!"

“Sorry Becky but if my probation officer finds out I’ve been around anymore kids I’ll be back in prison”

seriously though who the heck is letting their child hound strangers? You clearly aren’t some crazy predator but you absolutely could be, what shitty parents.
They say you get more conservative in views the older you get and the older I get the more I think some parents just shouldn’t have kids.

Ah I feel so sorry for the boy, probably gets no attention from his parents and the little bit you gave him, he wants more. Really sad but equally, not your problem. I’m not sure how I’d handle this if I’m honest. Can you speak to the mum without him present?

Given the parents aren’t parenting the child, don’t you afraid to.

Tell him that you are stranger and he needs to leave you alone. He needs to realise you’re not fun or pleasant to be around - continue to be firm, he might cry and sulk but he’ll stop coming to you if you’re not proving a pleasant experience.