Holiday mum keeps sending her son over to us repeatedly

[ItsPriya]

Currently on holiday - 2 week AI with husband and teenage daughter. Had a really busy year and was really looking forward to downtime and just recharging with the 3 of us.
On the second day was relaxing by the pool when a little boy about 4yo dropped his goggles near my lounger. Threw them into the pool for him, he threw them back and we had a little game of catch with them. Really sweet kid, thought no more of it.
Went to the buffet that night and the boy appeared at my feet as I was getting my food, started pulling at my arm, hanging off me whining "play with me" and asking me to go outside with him to play?!
My daughter came up to me and said she'd been passing his parents table and heard the mum say "he's whinging because hes tired, I told him to go play with that woman from earlier." Laughing and drinking while I'm trying to get my food and stop her kid from getting lost or hurt.
Went to sit down, said "I'm eating now, so go back to Mummy." Watched him go back over, his mum looked really annoyed, said something to him and he came back!
He said "my mum said I can sit with you until you're done then we can play."
Tried to eat but he was non stop, picking things up, touching things, whinging - not my child, why am I dealing with this?!
In the end DH walked him back over and firmly said we were trying to eat. Mum had the nerve to ask if our daughter had ever been a toddler.
Anyway, he harassed me at the entertainment that night to the point we left as I couldn't see his Mum so dropped him with the entertainment team. Makes DH very uncomfortable as he's very full on, climbing on our knees, wrapping his legs around us.
Breakfast this morning - he's actually waiting at the double doors and it was a repeat of the previous night. I actually suspect Mum is hiding from us.

What do I do?!

What a relief for you that they've gone.

You have an absolutely lovely DD, you all showed real kindness to the little lad. And also telling his parents that you were leaving the pool so he wouldn't be supervised, was a good thing to do. Your presence may well have averted an accident.

He will be at school soon and will have plenty of people to keep an eye on him.

Enjoy the rest of your break x

This.

I'm old enough to remember the days when we used to bemoan the fact that people needed a licence to own a dog, but not to be a parent.

Anyone with one iota of common sense knows that it's simply a way of expressing the idea that some people lack the capability to be a decent parent.

Of course we're not interfering with people's right to reproduce. It doesn't alter the fact that in a minority of cases the authorities actually do intervene to remove children from feckless parents in order to protect the children.

Thank you so much to everyone for all your advice, and the kind words especially about my daughter. I can't tell you how much it helped. Was an emotional situation I did not expect to come across on holiday! I'm a few Proseccos deep so clearly feeling warm and fuzzy 🤣 you're all amazing.

Despite what some people are saying I wouldn't be "firm" with the child himself - he's just taking direction from his mum and will probably get confused and distressed. I would however be very firm with the CF mum and complain to management/the holiday rep. This is not on.

I just wanted to come on and say thank you for you and your daughter’s kindness to him. My parents weren’t rough but they sought out new drinking buddies on any holiday or trip we went on when I was a kid (or they took some drinking buddies with them from home) so I was in the way of their booze ups day and night and played alone. I remember one of their more thoughtful new best friends taking me out for a knickerbocker glory and actually sitting and talking to me which felt very strange! I was a very lonely kid. I wouldn’t have latched onto a stranger like this poor little lad but I can just imagine his hopeful little face. Shame on his parents!!

I'm not a fan of being nice to people that promote this utter crap. If you have an opinion and share it online, stand behind it. So that others can question it. Too many people are suggesting we should bring in some sort of government control around who can and can't have kids and you might think that's innocent but the madness in this world now means if the government were to float the idea, eejits like the above would be fully behind it!

If you had one iota of common sense you'd take two minutes to look around you and see where we're heading. But that's another story for you to bury your head over. This one is about OP and the little boy.

Some kids are neglected thoroughly but if they make it to adulthood, they are usually empathetic decent human beings, probably as a result.

My bro is a lot older than me. He had left home before I was born but from a young age, a kid from six doors down spent almost his entire childhood at ours as he was close in age to my brother. This was a result of being dumped by his mother onto his grandmother and neither granny or granddad (our neighbours) wanted him either.

Mum and Dad even took him on holiday with my Bro, buying him clothes on the way because he was in rags.

One day he wagged off school again and got killed by tree felling operations on the common. If my Mum wasn't watching him, no-one was basically.

Mum was absolutely heart broken and she kept a picture of him on the wall until she died. His grandparents attitude to him even in death, was like they had dodged a bullet.

Where are we heading?

As a parent, he behaviour is absolutely shocking! Sending her child over to a group of strangers, I'm not saying you're not lovely but she doesn't know you or your dh. That is risky business. If she's willing to do that abroad I'd be worried what happens at home. Tell her firmly, lovely boy but I'm here to relax. If you could keep an eye on him that would be great. When she kicks off then you can tell her what a useless piece of shit she is!

You need to safeguard yourself. You could be falsely accused of anything these days! Do not take the child's hand, don't play with them in the pool... it could open you up to accusations! Go and get a rep or staff member and get them to remove the child. Tell them it is happening frequently and they need to deal with it or you will inform the authorities.

I think you have issues of your own here. You are really being quite rude. Just cool your jets OK.

Would you still feel that way if people having to prove they could be fit parents before having children resulted in a reduction in child cruelty and neglect cases?

That made me cry. Your lovely kind hearted daughter. She gets it from you. You are a lovely warm hearted person and don’t let this dilute that. You did your best for that poor little boy. Some people don’t deserve to have children. But know that the kindness you and your daughter showed him will have had a small positive impact in his life.

The only thing you might want to do is speak to the rep about it being a safeguarding issue. The rep knows who they are and will have contact details. They can report it anonymously to the local Social Services to the family. Leaving him alone at the pool was neglect. It won’t be enough for Social Services to do anything but if it’s another bit of evidence then it might help. For example parents who have been investigated and given a chance to change - may be manage to hold it together enough at home - but felt they’d get away with it abroad - it might be useful information. I think that would allow me to put it out of my head as I’d know I would have done my best for him. What else happens is beyond your control.

Enjoy your holiday!