Holiday mum keeps sending her son over to us repeatedly

[ItsPriya]

Currently on holiday - 2 week AI with husband and teenage daughter. Had a really busy year and was really looking forward to downtime and just recharging with the 3 of us.
On the second day was relaxing by the pool when a little boy about 4yo dropped his goggles near my lounger. Threw them into the pool for him, he threw them back and we had a little game of catch with them. Really sweet kid, thought no more of it.
Went to the buffet that night and the boy appeared at my feet as I was getting my food, started pulling at my arm, hanging off me whining "play with me" and asking me to go outside with him to play?!
My daughter came up to me and said she'd been passing his parents table and heard the mum say "he's whinging because hes tired, I told him to go play with that woman from earlier." Laughing and drinking while I'm trying to get my food and stop her kid from getting lost or hurt.
Went to sit down, said "I'm eating now, so go back to Mummy." Watched him go back over, his mum looked really annoyed, said something to him and he came back!
He said "my mum said I can sit with you until you're done then we can play."
Tried to eat but he was non stop, picking things up, touching things, whinging - not my child, why am I dealing with this?!
In the end DH walked him back over and firmly said we were trying to eat. Mum had the nerve to ask if our daughter had ever been a toddler.
Anyway, he harassed me at the entertainment that night to the point we left as I couldn't see his Mum so dropped him with the entertainment team. Makes DH very uncomfortable as he's very full on, climbing on our knees, wrapping his legs around us.
Breakfast this morning - he's actually waiting at the double doors and it was a repeat of the previous night. I actually suspect Mum is hiding from us.

What do I do?!

Good luck @ItsPriya, hopefully the kid will find someone else to annoy.

Well it's hardly the kid's fault is it? He's just a baby, completely naive to the world with still so much to learn about communication and social rules and it would seem that he's basically being made to be 'annoying' by the adults that he should trust most in the world.

Oh its so sad for the little boy. I feel in my heart so much for these children that just end up feeling like a pest to their parents.

I hope he manages to still have a good holiday...

Mum had the nerve to ask if our daughter had ever been a toddler.

Yes she was and it was hard work, never got a minute to myself and I am so glad those days are behind me!

God she has an absolute cheek

Poor boy, I have an only child and I fear him being lonely on holidays one day so what do we do ... play with him! That's what you've gotto do, his parents are soo weird and neglectful of the poor fella. When I opened your thread I thought you'd have kids similar in age and he was wanting to play, nt that his parents would want him to play with you!

Happens to me all the time at softplays, end up with 4 or 5 new children to watch kver and play eith as they see me clambering with my son and join in.

Tell him you are a monster who eats little children on holiday

edited to add I’m obviously joking before people start replying to me

Happened us on holiday however our son was similar age but after one day had no desire to play with/ entertain this boy who was not the easiest to play with/ spend time with … absolutely ruined the holiday! He was completely ignored by his parents and basically on his own the whole time going between us and one other family- who each of us thought were the actual family until I approached and said my son would like space from your child can you have a word- they were like that’s not my son and they were having same issue. Reported it to the management as a small boy was very vulnerable going to family to family and no parents to be seen- really sad. Found out his Parents went off to bars in the area and left him in the complex so police were called.
so yes absolutely empathy to you- get the staff onto it asap!!

Many years ago I was waiting for my flight to be called at Manchester airport. A woman with a buggy came up to me and asked if I would "watch her child" while she went to buy something. I didn't hear properly what she wanted to do but it was clearly not an emergency. I refused and told her I was not prepared to take responsibility for someone else's child. She could push the buggy to wherever she wanted to go. She was not pleased and asked me "Don't you have children". I told her no, and if I did I wouldn't be palming them off o someone else.

I'm so surprised by the amount of people saying they have also experienced this with other people's kids. I can't believe so many people are happy to let their very young children free roam around airports, AI resorts, holiday parks, whatever. It honestly doesn't seem so long ago (but 20+ years!) that we were all shocked and furious at the McCann parents for leaving their children in the room while they went for Tapas but now it's become quite normal 😕

In the OPs place I would avoid confronting a large boozy lower class group for fear of being targetted. Best to accept the advice of handing the child over to the staff. Is it possible to eat at another time, say earlier? Or go to another restaurant for a couple of nights to break the habit? Then the mum can find another family to palm off her child on

I did initially think take him to the entertainment tent and tell them he's not yours and you think he must be lost, but I'm afraid they'll keep doing it.

Now I'm thinking, you need something more solid, go to reception. He's not your responsibility, you deserve your downtime. Explain to reception what they're doing, explain it exactly as you have on here, leave nothing out and make reception take care of it. The hotel is responsible for ensuring you have a good holiday, they'll know what to do.

In psychological terms breaking your routine is often an powerful and effective way to deal with someone close by who is making a nuisance of themselves. I always advocate it with annoying neighbours who are constantly requesting favours or needy friends. Suddenly the person they relied upon for help and support is not there so they have to find some other way to cope. Avoiding the buffet at those times, playing in another pool, or eating in your room for a couple of nights should break the cycle..Changing your seating or times of eating so that you are not always there at the same time.

Don't engage with the child. Keep your back turned and make your interactions neutral. Children respond to patterns. So remove the pattern of being kind and pleasant. Combine that with always always always marching the boy over to reception and reporting him as a lost child. That will inconvenience the mum and re-focus her anger on the staff. Not your problem.

No parent can disagree.

Yet some don't care. I was once involved in a situation where parents sent their children, aged 4 to 11, to a sex abuser most evenings and every weekend. They told the police that, as long as he fed them and the kids were out of their way, they weren't interested 😡

The police said there was no indication he was paying the parents, btw. He got his victims for the price of beans on toast and a fizzy drink.

Report each time to managemdnt that you have a lost child.

rolls eyes Always one poster that comments on only children on threads like this! I am that ‘parent of an only child’ you talk about and I never, ever send my child over to play with random families. In fact it’s usually the other way around when parents of multiples just expect them to amuse each other and when they don’t they are hanging around with us when we are playing with our DD.

OP everyone has given you good advice. Good luck!

hehe

Of course that's the reasonable action - but not getting the feeling from the OP that the family are reasonable people...

This is so sad. OP of course you are entitled to your own holiday without looking after someone else's child. Hope you can fend off this awful family and hope there is someone in this little boy's life who will pay him attention.

I’d be telling management that this cf is sending her kid to you and leaving him unattended in public areas and you are concerned for his safety. Let them know you don’t want to be harassed by this child or the mother and ask them to have a word.

How bloody annoying! Hope you managed to have a better evening @ItsPriya

I'd absolutely be involving the staff and say you are concerned about the boy being left alone and ask them to chat to the parents.

We often get children wanting to play with us in the park which is lovely, but one time a man 'dropped off' his 4 year old and disappeared! Found him on his phone in a different area of the park. These poor kids, but it's not your responsibility to look after them!

Take him to reception with a list of hotel drowning stories and ask for the email address of Head Office, that should sort it.

Send him back to his parents, after coaching him to say, nice and loudly "mummy, daddy, you're a pair of cunts"

Doubt he'll be back after that 😆

This.
keep walking him back over to his parents. If they are not visible, keep walking back over to hotel staff. If they are decent staff, they’ll get the picture on repeat occasions and probably sort the situation.
you’ve tried being friendly and tried being reasonable. Just so weird.

Too complicated. Keep it simple. 'I don't want to look after your child'.

I hope you managed to have fun evening without the small child pestering you.