Holiday mum keeps sending her son over to us repeatedly

[ItsPriya]

Currently on holiday - 2 week AI with husband and teenage daughter. Had a really busy year and was really looking forward to downtime and just recharging with the 3 of us.
On the second day was relaxing by the pool when a little boy about 4yo dropped his goggles near my lounger. Threw them into the pool for him, he threw them back and we had a little game of catch with them. Really sweet kid, thought no more of it.
Went to the buffet that night and the boy appeared at my feet as I was getting my food, started pulling at my arm, hanging off me whining "play with me" and asking me to go outside with him to play?!
My daughter came up to me and said she'd been passing his parents table and heard the mum say "he's whinging because hes tired, I told him to go play with that woman from earlier." Laughing and drinking while I'm trying to get my food and stop her kid from getting lost or hurt.
Went to sit down, said "I'm eating now, so go back to Mummy." Watched him go back over, his mum looked really annoyed, said something to him and he came back!
He said "my mum said I can sit with you until you're done then we can play."
Tried to eat but he was non stop, picking things up, touching things, whinging - not my child, why am I dealing with this?!
In the end DH walked him back over and firmly said we were trying to eat. Mum had the nerve to ask if our daughter had ever been a toddler.
Anyway, he harassed me at the entertainment that night to the point we left as I couldn't see his Mum so dropped him with the entertainment team. Makes DH very uncomfortable as he's very full on, climbing on our knees, wrapping his legs around us.
Breakfast this morning - he's actually waiting at the double doors and it was a repeat of the previous night. I actually suspect Mum is hiding from us.

What do I do?!

Keep on reporting to staff:
Not my child
Dont even know his name
Hes not with us
we are not responsible
Deal with it
If something happens it is now on you (staff) and his parents.

OP - just wanted to wish you all the best for the rest of your holiday. Please take no notice of mean, unsympathetic replies on here - you have done NOTHING wrong.

The world can be cruel and unfair. Yes, this little boy's predicament is very sad and I'd feel just like you. But realistically there's not a lot you can do. Social workers must feel like this all day long.

Having been a teacher it both saddens me but doesn't surprise me to hear about these pathetic, selfish parents. I used to see the results of neglectful parenting every day. Why do they even have children???

This happened last week:

Paros: Bartender jumped into pool to save 4-year-old as safety measures come under scrutiny https://share.google/47J6paFGsTyhP9QAT

OP spoke to the lifeguard who decided the child wasnt in danger. All OP needs to do is seek out the hotel manager, tell them what is happening, then their job is done

Is this for real?😂

If she’s neglecting him at 4yo imagine when he is 18…. People really shouldn’t have kids if they don’t want to parent 24/7.

Sorry you are having this experience on your holiday OP, no further advice but just tell a member of staff that it is upsetting you a lot now and you are worried about the child.

If they do not deal with it ask for their superior and complain.

You have no idea about their history so it is a possibility especially as they are so rough. They are probably criminals which is how they can afford the holiday.

Generally because they see it as their 'right' to have a baby but have no interest in the resulting responsibility of a growing child (although I know your question was rhetorical and you already know this 😉)

I agree but a lot of people are suggesting she takes the child to the management and even buying him a treat on the way. Which would be an incredibly foolish thing to do!

I think that poster gave an example of what they would do rather than mandating how OP should have done things, after all, OP and her husband have been talking to the resort about it. Agree that buying them a treat isn’t a good idea.

That doesn't mean that @ItsPriya should be minding the child, ruin her holiday, or put herself and her husband at risk. Pointing the child out to the lifeguard and telling them the child is unsupervised is enough.

Exactly.

You tell the lifeguard
You tell hotel staff
You tell him to go back to his parents

I wouldn't be minding a strange child for 20 minutes and thus taking responsibility for him, especially around a pool and especially with how OP describes the family. Absolutely not.

The lifeguard sounds like he didn't know what he was doing.

How awful is this hotel that their lifeguard isn't spotting that a 4yo is playing alone in the water? This poor kid is so desperate for attention he's ripe for being abducted or even taken somewhere quiet by a predator, be that a hotel guest, employee or visitor. No doubt if anything happened the family would be wailing and blaming everyone except themselves.

Take him to reception - every single time.
Let the hotel deal with the parents.

I'd be loud about handing him over to the staff- let the judgment of others help teach her a lesson, and make sure everyone else is aware she's after a free sitter.
'Oh my goodness - has mummy lost you again! Oh she really is rather careless, let's see if these nice people can find her'

His parents are piss taking arseholes. I feel sorry for him. I agree with @Keroppi In your shoes I'd explain to to him that you need some alone time with your own family, but that doesn't mean he's done anything wrong. Taking him back to staff is a good idea.

I totally believe it. If you've ever read some of the neighbour and parking threads on here, a lot of people are ruthless.

Agreed. These are not reasonable people. I used to see this when I was teaching. Unfortunately, this type of behaviour was passed down through the generations. Some parents are just feckless.

I can think of a particular family where I still see the name in various local court reports. Nothing is ever their fault.

If the feckless parents are leaving tomorrow, I think I'd avoid the pool until after they're gone.

As awful as the situation is, stop engaging with this child. You are opening yourself up to all sorts of problems if this child gets injured, goes missing or his mum makes an accusation against you and your DH.

You need to go straight to hotel management every time. At least then you will have 'evidence' that you've done nothing wrong if something happens.

As a parent, it fills me with dread that some parents allow their very young children to wander around abroad unsupervised or are happy for them to engage with complete strangers however nice they seem to be. I have been on holidays where young children are neglected and it is very hard to ignore so I get where you are coming from OP.

The lifeguard is probably a student doing a vacation job. Qualified in being a lifeguard but not in managing difficult people.

Part of being a lifeguard is recognising when someone is not safe in/around the water. A four-year-old without their parents is an obvious example of this, and if lifeguard training doesn't cover that then it's not fit for purpose. If he doesn't know how to manage difficult people, he can ask his own manager for support.

There's a MUCH bigger problem here than the OP being able to enjoy her holiday (which she absolutely fully deserves btw).
I would be very worried about the little lad, neglected and left alone at just 4 yrs old. Starved of love and attention. My eyes are filling with tears for him as I'm reading.
This sort of thing would warrant a report to SS in the UK, they are neglecting him which is a form of ABUSE. It may be they otherwise meet his basic needs (food and clothing) but I wouldn't bank on that, can imagine is a lot worse back home. Plus even lack of supervision is NEGLECT.
OP I know you've done a lot already, but please can you raise a concern higher up at the hotel? They really need reporting. Ideally if you can ask little boy his full name and where he lives, maybe you could report when yiu get back (assuming they are also from the UK).

This
Guy is clearly not up to the job and I'm guessing this is happening in a more "relaxed" country where things like that are not taken seriously enough.