Holiday mum keeps sending her son over to us repeatedly

[ItsPriya]

Currently on holiday - 2 week AI with husband and teenage daughter. Had a really busy year and was really looking forward to downtime and just recharging with the 3 of us.
On the second day was relaxing by the pool when a little boy about 4yo dropped his goggles near my lounger. Threw them into the pool for him, he threw them back and we had a little game of catch with them. Really sweet kid, thought no more of it.
Went to the buffet that night and the boy appeared at my feet as I was getting my food, started pulling at my arm, hanging off me whining "play with me" and asking me to go outside with him to play?!
My daughter came up to me and said she'd been passing his parents table and heard the mum say "he's whinging because hes tired, I told him to go play with that woman from earlier." Laughing and drinking while I'm trying to get my food and stop her kid from getting lost or hurt.
Went to sit down, said "I'm eating now, so go back to Mummy." Watched him go back over, his mum looked really annoyed, said something to him and he came back!
He said "my mum said I can sit with you until you're done then we can play."
Tried to eat but he was non stop, picking things up, touching things, whinging - not my child, why am I dealing with this?!
In the end DH walked him back over and firmly said we were trying to eat. Mum had the nerve to ask if our daughter had ever been a toddler.
Anyway, he harassed me at the entertainment that night to the point we left as I couldn't see his Mum so dropped him with the entertainment team. Makes DH very uncomfortable as he's very full on, climbing on our knees, wrapping his legs around us.
Breakfast this morning - he's actually waiting at the double doors and it was a repeat of the previous night. I actually suspect Mum is hiding from us.

What do I do?!

They had already let the boy go off into the pool alone before you even saw him though? This isn't your/DH's responsibility.

Why? Are you there letting your 4 year old cause havoc out of your sight? 😂

They don't care that their child is alone , unsupervised in the pool. Why do you? You are making him your problem/ responsibility. Theres a lifeguard. Let them br responsible. Your opening yourself up to accusation and liability. They will say: he was with that family and they were looking after him. The family took an unhealthy interest in him. The husband must be a predator. Ect. They dont care as long as they can get pissed in peace. Id move every time the kid comes over to you.

Of course that’s not OK. I’d tell the mother to parent her child or you’ll be telling staff that she’s endangering him.

Children’s safety is everyone responsibility. You don’t let a small child potentially drown because you think their drunk adults need to be taught a lesson.

Children’s safety is everyone responsibility. You don’t let a small child potentially drown because you think their drunk adults need to be taught a lesson.

So the OP should assume responsibility for the child? Is that what you would do?

It’s wild how many times I have had to say stuff like this on this forum. They don’t give a shit about safeguarding children that aren’t their own and think it’s valid to put a child at risk to punish the parents.

So as I just said few minutes ago, should the OP now take responsibility??!

I’d take the child inside to management, buy them a treat on the way and explain to management they had been abandoned near the pool and you were too concerned to walk away. I’d alert the staff near the pool so they were aware for when they see the child next, loudly so other guests could hear, and also try and get the child’s details, as perhaps you can report them back home for neglect?
i’d stress about this my whole holidays and be alert near the pool and detour by the pool when walking around and be alert the whole time as the situation where something happened to that child would haunt me for the rest of my life. If you were my friend and could tell the child to go away and lie back and genuinely enjoy your holiday you’d be my ex friend.

Absolutely this!

Now I know you’re being dense as a hobby right now. You see a 4 yo being neglected, you alert the staff and make sure they are handling it. And me personally, I am not having fun until I feel certain the kid is okay.

Just say no go back to mummy on repeat

This is true but you also need to safeguard yourself.

The OP is currently leaving herself and her husband open to very serious allegations if the child injures himself under their 'watch' especially as the family have already talked about her husband's 'unhealthy interest' in their child..

It’s utterly heartbreaking that this wee boy is being ignored by his family 😢
You sound like a very kind woman @ItsPriya
It’s up to the hotel management now I think to step in, because the child is not being looked after and because of the reaction of the child’s family members to your dh.
Hotel management can then make a decision re escalation.
If parents are drinking / drunk and child is being ignored and wandering off perhaps police and social services could be involved ?
I have seen reports already this summer of social services/ police being involved in holiday resorts where children are being neglected.

This.

The OP is currently leaving herself and her husband open to very serious allegations if the child injures himself under their 'watch' especially as the family have already talked about her husband's 'unhealthy interest' in their child..

Absolutely this.

You need to stop feeling sorry for him and open your eyes to the absolute pile of shit this family could dump on you if they want to.

Please bear this in mind, OP

Jesus!!!! Don't you think OP has done everything possible to keep the child safe!! Returning him to his parents is the best safeguard !! Contacting staff is safeguarding. The very act of him being with strangers is EXTREMELY unsafe!!! What are people supposed to do with unfit parents who neglect their kids like this? Assume responsibility? Ruin their own holiday because lowlife's care more about drink than their kids? At the end of the day, the boy is going home with his abusive neglectful parents so he's in permanent danger. And it would be everyone's fault but theirs if anything happened to him.

Who the fuck are you shouting at because show me where the comment you are replying to is directed at OP????!!

You need to read my comment that’s actually addressed to OP and unclench.

This has really ramped up from his family group letting him annoy people at mealtimes, to him being basically abandoned in the pool while they get pissed. What a vile bunch of individuals. Some people just don't deserve children.

OP for what it's worth I understand why you couldn't just ignore him at the pool yesterday. It's all very well all the advice you're hearing here about blanking him etc etc but I'd really struggle to do this too in the circumstances. You have empathy and were concerned for a basically abandoned child. By most standards that makes you a good and kind person. I hope they all do sod off home soon as I get why you just can't relax in this situation.

You have a conscience and you don't need to beat yourself up over that.

Prison? That’s quite a leap.

It’s wild that these people take no responsibility for their son, in fact encourage him to attach himself to another family group, and then insinuate that this family, who are trying to disentangle themselves from this little boy, have an unhealthy interest in the kid. The cognitive dissonance there and full on CFery blows my mind.

Calm down dear !!! 😂😂😂😂

Its not as simple as that.

I agree that the OP should alert management every time it happens but even taking the child to management could cause problems for her - these aren't parents who have lost their child and are desperately searching for him who will be grateful he has been found. They know where he is and the OP and her husband have made contact with the parents. She can't just remove him from where his parents have left him and walk away with him.

She says after ranting at me for shit I didn’t even do 😒

But by all means throw stones and hide your hands to save face.

I don’t think I said she needs to physically remove him. She can bring management over to him. It doesn’t matter if he’s lost or not. He’s too young to be in the pool by himself and his guardians are deliberately neglecting him at this resort, so that becomes a safeguarding issue. OP has noticed and thus we are saying she should get management involved. It’s actually worrying the resort hasn’t noticed on their own. They should be acting on their own initiative.