Holiday mum keeps sending her son over to us repeatedly

[ItsPriya]

Currently on holiday - 2 week AI with husband and teenage daughter. Had a really busy year and was really looking forward to downtime and just recharging with the 3 of us.
On the second day was relaxing by the pool when a little boy about 4yo dropped his goggles near my lounger. Threw them into the pool for him, he threw them back and we had a little game of catch with them. Really sweet kid, thought no more of it.
Went to the buffet that night and the boy appeared at my feet as I was getting my food, started pulling at my arm, hanging off me whining "play with me" and asking me to go outside with him to play?!
My daughter came up to me and said she'd been passing his parents table and heard the mum say "he's whinging because hes tired, I told him to go play with that woman from earlier." Laughing and drinking while I'm trying to get my food and stop her kid from getting lost or hurt.
Went to sit down, said "I'm eating now, so go back to Mummy." Watched him go back over, his mum looked really annoyed, said something to him and he came back!
He said "my mum said I can sit with you until you're done then we can play."
Tried to eat but he was non stop, picking things up, touching things, whinging - not my child, why am I dealing with this?!
In the end DH walked him back over and firmly said we were trying to eat. Mum had the nerve to ask if our daughter had ever been a toddler.
Anyway, he harassed me at the entertainment that night to the point we left as I couldn't see his Mum so dropped him with the entertainment team. Makes DH very uncomfortable as he's very full on, climbing on our knees, wrapping his legs around us.
Breakfast this morning - he's actually waiting at the double doors and it was a repeat of the previous night. I actually suspect Mum is hiding from us.

What do I do?!

It isn't nasty to send him back to his parents.

Yes maybe playing with the goggles again wasn't the best idea, but that poor little boy. His parents sound vile. Would make you wonder what his home life is like.

I don't blame you for playing with a small child. I have caught myself doing it when I see how happy it makes them, although I have found they then don't want to stop! It's pretty sad that he's that desperate for some fun and company.
I would persist with letting the hotel staff know, as clearly his family are not very cooperative.
Enjoy the rest of your holiday 😊

Totally disagree. It’s not being nasty, this child is not OP’s responsibility. He is the responsibility of the parents and they have clearly checked out but that does not mean he is OP’s problem.
I do not have a heart of stone, I am a parent and love kids but I certainly wouldn’t want to take on someone else’s child on holiday. They are not my responsibility. My children are my responsibility.
Report to staff. Take the child to reception every time. And yes, put it in writing. You are putting yourselves in a very vulnerable position OP by taking on the responsibility of someone else’s child. Because that’s what you’re doing. Through choice.

It sounds like this little one has quite a sad life TBH.

But that doesn't mean you should humour him interrupting yours and your husbands time and personal space.

Speak to a manager and explain.
Parents are fobbing him off on you.
He's in the pool with no relative.
He's unsupervised.
Your DH is concerned the adults in the group are trouble. Etc etc.

At least you hopefully only have another short while to dodge them. Any time child comes over to you, I would walk them over to a member of staff.

"X isn't with his grown ups again maybe you can help him find them."

I know. I felt the same when I read this post, so spiteful and unnecessary. Huge 🙄

Walk the child to hotel reception or nearest hotel staff. Ask for property manager and say this kid is left unsupervised multiple times and get the property manager to deal with it. Call the police if they have to. I wouldn't bother engaging the parents.

Use Google translate for the lifeguard at the pool if they don't understand. Are there security at the hotel? Approach them too.

There is no evidence at all that he's a 'demanding' toddler any more so than a typical 4 year old. 4 year olds are expected to be able to focus on an activity for no more than a few minutes. They are only just learning to play cooperatively and are still almost entirely dependent on their caregivers. His behaviour sounds entirely developmentally appropriate.

Perhaps more parents should spend more time reflecting on what this actually means for their lives before they go having kids that they can't/won't care for adequately

I feel so sorry for the poor boy, OP, and would probably have done the same as you.

I also used to love diving for goggles when I was younger, so whoever said it was weird can FO. Kids play games, it's called imagination.

I’d assume it’s quite expensive to go abroad for two weeks , all inclusive during school holidays.
But lots of scummy people seem to be able to afford such luxuries that maybe a few decades ago they wouldn’t .
Low class people seem to be everywhere, but just crummy caravan parks.

Well that sounds awful but you can’t fix his life and you are getting yourself into a mess with the family. You can’t engage anymore. Be firm and send him away, Tell staff if he’s unsupervised. Don’t engage with the family either.

And its not OPs responsibility to parent someone else's child.

Exactly this!
It’s a horrible situation and the parents should be ashamed of themselves.
You take him back to them and say “do you not remember Madeline McCann? Parent your child. If he comes over to us unsupervised again, I’ll be reporting it to the hotel manager as a safeguarding issue and you can deal with them.”
Don’t let their selfish entitlement steal your hard earned family time.

This is clearly bothering you a lot, if you think it may continue to bother you I would actually play one more time, ask his name and his school and then call their safeguarding lead on return from holiday. It might be another piece of a puzzle if he’s being neglected.

Also, if it’s a package holiday do you have a rep you could contact? Or if you actually speak to the hotel manager and mention you don’t want to ‘write a poor review of such a lovely hotel, especially about safety concerns, but staff have not dealt with…’

Have people not heard of Ben Needham , Madeleine McCann ? Children who went missing abroad. I’m say how surprised I am about how some parents are but I’m actually not , the world is full of ignorant people.

I haven't really got anything constructive to say but I've been following with absolute bewilderment.

I get why you have engaged OP. The boy sounds incredibly emotionally neglected and lonely. But I do agree it's time to become harder to the situation for your own safety.

I just cannot get my head around anybody allowing their child to wonder, and engage with unknown adults in what I assume to be a foreign country. My mind boggles. There is no way I'd let my child bother anybody, let alone be out of my sight. I'd think it was sweet if I saw my child playing catch for a few moments, but that would be the end of it, and I certainly wouldn't encourage it beyond that.

I really hope Wednesday is their day to pack up and fuck off so you can relax for the rest of your holiday.

I’ve not read all tje thread but don’t AI have kids clubs ? you have to wonder why he’s not enrolled in one of them. Who lets their four year in a pool without supervision (I really hope he’s got arm bands or similar) or just in a hotel or anywhere really without supervision . I feel like they should be reported to social services the poor little boy.

I dont think behavior is a question of rich or poor.

Anyone trying to blame you is weird. You’ve done nothing wrong. Of course you can’t just ignore a little boy on his own. It’s not his fault his parents are shit. Any normal parent would be mortified. If you can find out their names I would be reporting them to social services once back home.

@ItsPriya I think you've handled this situation very much as I would have done. Please try and ignore all the unhelpful "quit throwing the goggles" type responses. Hes clearly a sad, emotionally neglected little boy who is delighted to have found a friend in you. I feel so sad for him. But yup, ultimately not your problem. Hopefully he and his family will be going home on Wednesday. For his sake I hope that someone in his home life notices how much his mother doesnt give a hoot about him and intervenes before he grows up even more damaged and vulnerable to people with bad intentions who will take advantage. Poor wee chap. Thankyou for in a small way helping him to feel a little bit cared for.

Hard as it is , ignore the kid. Don’t throw googles or tell one of the staff who understands you - or put into google translate that this small boy is on his own in the pool

I had this on a campsite with our young kids many years ago. A young girl would repeatedly come round to our caravan, come out with us, just follwed us to the club at night, Her Mother was never with her. we ended up buying her food and drinks for a few days until her mother turned up at our van shouting at me and saying my kids were bulling the girl (they weren't) So I told the mother to not let her round here again and to not follow us to the club again. The girl admitted to her mum she was lying and got really told off. But I actually felt sorry for the kid. Back then there were no phones or anything and we made sure she always got home safe at night. Sometimes the parents just don't give a shit.

Have you considered reporting this to the local police? Child neglect should be treated seriously. Not all holiday makers would be as benign as you are and that poor little boy could easily come to harm.

Heaven forbid that dc does go missing and everyone remembers he has been hanging around you and your dh..

I would take teh child to management at the office and say this is an unsupervised child in your pool several times in a row, I frankly can’t enjoy my holiday thinking about the risks here and the parents are neglecting him. You don’t want a death in your pool and need to enforce parental supervision here.

He’s 4!!! You’ve been very fair all along. the poor child, I’m so uncomfortable reading this thread and about his parents 😢