Holiday mum keeps sending her son over to us repeatedly

[ItsPriya]

Currently on holiday - 2 week AI with husband and teenage daughter. Had a really busy year and was really looking forward to downtime and just recharging with the 3 of us.
On the second day was relaxing by the pool when a little boy about 4yo dropped his goggles near my lounger. Threw them into the pool for him, he threw them back and we had a little game of catch with them. Really sweet kid, thought no more of it.
Went to the buffet that night and the boy appeared at my feet as I was getting my food, started pulling at my arm, hanging off me whining "play with me" and asking me to go outside with him to play?!
My daughter came up to me and said she'd been passing his parents table and heard the mum say "he's whinging because hes tired, I told him to go play with that woman from earlier." Laughing and drinking while I'm trying to get my food and stop her kid from getting lost or hurt.
Went to sit down, said "I'm eating now, so go back to Mummy." Watched him go back over, his mum looked really annoyed, said something to him and he came back!
He said "my mum said I can sit with you until you're done then we can play."
Tried to eat but he was non stop, picking things up, touching things, whinging - not my child, why am I dealing with this?!
In the end DH walked him back over and firmly said we were trying to eat. Mum had the nerve to ask if our daughter had ever been a toddler.
Anyway, he harassed me at the entertainment that night to the point we left as I couldn't see his Mum so dropped him with the entertainment team. Makes DH very uncomfortable as he's very full on, climbing on our knees, wrapping his legs around us.
Breakfast this morning - he's actually waiting at the double doors and it was a repeat of the previous night. I actually suspect Mum is hiding from us.

What do I do?!

@ItsPriya I hope the kid didn't reappear.

If he does, tell him to go and tell his mummy that she's "a lazy cow" and you're teaching him "new vocabulary" - get him to repeat it a couple of times, then send him on his way.

Hopefully that works...

Otherwise you'll end up teaching him new words in front of her although with her as an egg donor, he probably knows most of them anyway

🍹

agree, I woudnt want to take on the responsibility for somebody elses small child around water when I have no idea how well they can or cant swim.

A toddler is younger than a four year old who would be about to start school surely? I don’t remember my kids behaving like that when they were four, clinging to strangers and even going up to them at all🤷🏻‍♀️

I wouldn't do that. If she is such a narcissist she is likely to invent so allegation against you just for the attention. (I know you were only joking though). But false allegatons is another reason you really don't want a strange 4 year old around you.

That was something my mum used to say.

"harassing" fgs he is a 4 year old child. I understand you are on a holiday but its the parents that need to be spoken to not the child. I feel so sorry for him, He really doesnt stand a chance with the parents he has.

It's not that weird. It's the same parents who ignore their child all day at home while they smoke in front of daytime TV.

Not for the first time on MN, my mind is blown by the sheer cheek of some fellow humans. Not to mention the absolute bat-shittery of encouraging her 4 year old to go and hang out with adult strangers (no offence OP- but she doesn’t know you from Adam). I agree with the advice upthread to return him to parents immediately or to hotel staff if parents are not in sight. If the CF mum tries any more of that “wasn’t your child young once” nonsense I’d reply “yes she was, and we looked after her because we’re her PARENTS rather than encouraging her to go and play with grown ups who are strangers”.

Yep, or ‘same old shit, just a different view out of the window by the sink’.

I think a lot of posters, while well intentioned, aren't grasping the fact that OP is dealing with a big, rough group.

None of your gently, gently approaches will work.

And as much as I'm sure everyone feels for the little boy, I'm sorry but toughening up and being borderline rude is the only way to deal with it.

I do agree that making him the staffs' problem every time is the easiest way to deal with it but I wouldn't be long telling him "I'm a stranger and you shouldn't talk to strangers. Go back to your family." Every single time.

I do wonder if people had to jump through the same hoops as they do when fostering/adopting a child how many would be allowed to have children?

Tell her you are a social worker, or on the sex offender register, or enjoying your first holiday since getting out of prison, or something else she will find shocking!!

Realistically I would just hand the boy over to a member of staff each time

There are a vast number of irresponsible parents out there. A lot of people are very selfish and make very selfish parents.

In the end DH walked him back over and firmly said we were trying to eat. Mum had the nerve to ask if our daughter had ever been a toddler.

Ha Ha! So this woman will be happy to mind other people's toddlers when her son is a teenager, I assume???

I hope you manage to enjoy your holiday eventually, OP.

Why do parents have children and then set them up to fail in life through neglect?

Or who ignore their child because they are workaholics/more interested in their social lives.

I know hard to believe, When my kids were young we were abroad a couple turned up at the shared pool with their 5 year old and was playing with my kids, a couple of house later the child asked for some food, I told her to go and see mummy. It turns out they had gone out and left her with us. Complete strangers.

Fucking hell. This is exactly why I don't even make eye contact with other people's children!

If you ever watch Bondi Rescue, you'll be amazed at the times they find small children alone in the sea... I watched one once where two very small children (under 5 I think) were in the sea with floaties and got in to trouble. They were rescued and the parents weren't even on the beach - they were having a picnic/drinks up on the grassy area beyond the beach! Had just sent the kids off to play completely unattended.... Blows my mind that anyone would do that.

Yeah no thanks random spam

Please come back OP!!

I would drop him to reception every time. Poor kid - he will suffer because of this but hopefully they get the picture this way!

Tell her if she sends him over again, you're going to tell him santa is dead.

But seriously, if it happens again dont take him back to her, take him straight to staff and say he is a lost child.

I can believe some of the stories of neglect. I was once at a hotel where 2 toddlers were playing in the pool 'supervised' from a first floor balcony. I stayed close and watched them, rather than leaving this responsibility on my 12 year old.

Let us know how you get on