Holiday mum keeps sending her son over to us repeatedly

[ItsPriya]

Currently on holiday - 2 week AI with husband and teenage daughter. Had a really busy year and was really looking forward to downtime and just recharging with the 3 of us.
On the second day was relaxing by the pool when a little boy about 4yo dropped his goggles near my lounger. Threw them into the pool for him, he threw them back and we had a little game of catch with them. Really sweet kid, thought no more of it.
Went to the buffet that night and the boy appeared at my feet as I was getting my food, started pulling at my arm, hanging off me whining "play with me" and asking me to go outside with him to play?!
My daughter came up to me and said she'd been passing his parents table and heard the mum say "he's whinging because hes tired, I told him to go play with that woman from earlier." Laughing and drinking while I'm trying to get my food and stop her kid from getting lost or hurt.
Went to sit down, said "I'm eating now, so go back to Mummy." Watched him go back over, his mum looked really annoyed, said something to him and he came back!
He said "my mum said I can sit with you until you're done then we can play."
Tried to eat but he was non stop, picking things up, touching things, whinging - not my child, why am I dealing with this?!
In the end DH walked him back over and firmly said we were trying to eat. Mum had the nerve to ask if our daughter had ever been a toddler.
Anyway, he harassed me at the entertainment that night to the point we left as I couldn't see his Mum so dropped him with the entertainment team. Makes DH very uncomfortable as he's very full on, climbing on our knees, wrapping his legs around us.
Breakfast this morning - he's actually waiting at the double doors and it was a repeat of the previous night. I actually suspect Mum is hiding from us.

What do I do?!

I work at the golden arches

You'd be amazed at how many parents seem to think us staff/other diners are childcare

I don't mind keeping an eye on your child if you nip to the loo/chase another child/go get your order (we have table service for this reason) but so many parents seem to think they can dump them in our giant playhouse (just outside) or at a table and fuck off to the b&m that's over the (busy) road to us

Then when the manager tells them 'we are not childcare' they get all nasty and swear 'they'll never come back' (good)

Apparently the early learning centre/disney store had the same issues back in the day

Some people shouldn't breed

It’s like it’s the opposite of helicopter parenting

I guess these are people who are incapable of assessing risk or consequences and are then surprised when something bad happens because, by luck, it hasn’t in the past

Stop being wet.

Rude, harsh, unnecessary and victim-blaming.

i dont think i would feel comfortable engaging with that woman, she sounds vile and her manner would really annoy me on hoildays...i would disengage as much as possible with her and her family. deal with staff or visit more places at your hoilday destination.

I would just repeat very firmly, over and over, ‘You need to back to your parents. We’re busy.’ And ignore him. I know it’s hard. I always feel sorry for children who behave like this as they are obviously bored or lonely. But he isn’t your responsibility.

Don't engage with him. Just take him over the the staff/ management as a lost child every time and leave him with them to deal with locating the parents.

Update?

This happens to me too. I’ve been at social events before with my own DC and kids from my school come over to me for help with disputes. Eg. Johnny won’t let me play with his football, Lucy hit me etc etc
I say ‘Go and tell your adults, I’m not at work I’m with my children’
And the parents are often standing, watching it happen and also look to me to sort it out!!

So true, people like that take any reaction that isn’t hostile as encouragement!

It’s heartbreaking that the scummy parents cannot be bothered to look after or play with their own tiny child on holiday. I would take him to hotel reception every time and say he’s lost.

Just send him back. Im not playing with you, I’m an adult on holiday. Go back to your mummy please.

How has it panned out OP?

someone I know of had a daughter who made friends on holiday with another girl, the following day the other family were going out somewhere but the girl kept saying she wanted to stay with her friend. The family said oh she can stay with us if you like. Barely knew each other … I think it was around 6 hours later the couple who had left their daughter sent a message saying we are just finishing our meal 😆 CFs.

do not engage any further!

Wow so many responses! OK I have an update. Please don't judge me 😪
No sign of any of them at the entertainment last night. No sign at breakfast. Almost started to relax. Went down to the beach for the morning and had lunch out.
Afternoon, out by the pool, the hotel has some water slides that DD and DH love so I was sunbathing while they were queuing for them. Felt a splash of water, opened my eyes and the goggles were next to me. Looked in the pool and there he was at the side, I'm not exaggerating when I say his hopeful little face actually broke my heart. Couldn't see his group anywhere (of course) and once I'd seen him alone in the pool I couldn't relax anyway. So yes I threw the goggles back a couple of times, you've never seen a kid so happy. I went over and asked where his mummy was, he pointed vaguely over to the pool bar - there is no way he was even in sight of her. I told the lifeguard there was an unattended child, he didn't seem to understand and kept saying "he can swim?" and giving me the thumbs up. So, like an absolute mug I sat with him for 15-20 mins till husband and daughter came back.
Husband then went to the pool bar, located group and said your son is bothering us again (I know, bad choice of words), we're going back to our room, he will be alone in the pool.
Basically told to fuck off.
BUT the light at the end of the tunnel - when husband walked over they were being very loud and pally with one of the young entertainment team who made a joke along the lines of the hotel will be so quiet on Wednesday. So I am keeping all my fingers and toes crossed that means they are leaving on Wednesday and not just going on an excursion.

If parent is in sight
"I think this one is yours! He's very sweet but we've come away for a much needed break and none of us want to be responsible for a toddler."

If parent is not in sight
"Hello receptionist. Please can you return this child to his parents? He keeps seeking us out but we don't know him and we've come on holiday for a much needed break and none of us want to be responsible for a toddler. Please do pass that on to his parents when you track them down."

Cross posted.

Don't put up with this shit till Wednesday!

You're allowing your hard-earned holiday to be dictated by this child and his disgraceful mother. Even if they're not around, you're braced for it and stressed. Put yourself and your family first and don't throw the goggles back next time. I know you're doing it out of kindness but it's giving him mixed messages.

I'm petty enough that I would find out a name & where they're from so I could report them. I'm sorry you've dealt with this OP but what that child is going through... Jesus.

So who’s responsible when you throw the goggles, he chases them and slips and cracks his head? Or he jumps in the pool and starts to struggle? 🤦‍♀️

You have to wonder about the poor lad's home life. If they're like this on holiday, what are they like the rest of the time?

I’d have told the mum that my licence conditions don’t allow me to interact with children under 10 years old 🤭

You’re not the only one who has thought this! How I wish you could report them for their diabolical parenting. And how I wish something would actually be done and that they would actually be made to feel sorry and believe themselves to be in the wrong. Absolutely no hope of that though. I can’t think of another word - scum doesn’t quite cover it.

And your DH being told basically to fuck off! What awful people. And that poor little lad will probably grow up to be just like them. I despair, I really do.

You're doing this to yourself! You threw the goggles! You need to physically ignore him, say to the lifeguard "no he can't swim and im leaving" then go somewhere else for 15 mins.

You're sending mixed messages

And to the poster who said I should have chosen a better AI - the hotel is lovely, the food is lovely, the pool/staff/facilities are lovely. Awful people can book expensive holidays too, sorry to burst your bubble. We paid thousands for this holiday, we don't have an unlimited budget sadly.

Omg stop throwing the goggles. What a weird game anyway. Bloody persistence until they get what they want is what keeps these people going.

Ignore them all.