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Original poster

Is going braless in middle age really such a social faux pas?

478 replies

DustyHedgerows · 13/08/2026 11:14

Not sure what's changed, whether it's the heat or just a general feeling of being 'done', but this summer, I have parted company with my bra. I'm middle-aged, not particularly busty, and am just not bothering to put one on in the mornings when I'm not working. I suddenly resent the idea of wearing one, as it's not as if I really need support -it really only sheilds the world from seeing a hint of my nipples under my top. DC are embarrassed to be seen with me and although I don't really care, I've noticed the odd person do a double-take when I'm out. I'm not wearing anything revealing, just a t-shirt, a buttoned shirt or loose-fitting dress.
Is going braless in middle-age really the social faux pas that my teens imply that it is?

OP posts:
Viperregency · 15/08/2026 13:59

hoarderofthedough · 15/08/2026 12:55

Why not just wear a stretchy bra, the kind with no underwiring, that you just pull on over your head? It is comfy, gives support and covers nipples.

If I see a woman without a bra, my internal eyeroll is huge, because it's almost always for male attention.

I’m not sure you can just decide that in your head, many women are gay, many women have medical issues, big misogynistic to decide it’s all about men,

godmum56 · 15/08/2026 14:16

Sparrowsandbudgies · 15/08/2026 13:56

What now? If I want the attention of the male gaze I’m sure I’d get more of it if I actually wore a bra that hoiked my droopy gals up to where they used to be 20 odd years ago. If I’m going bra less I’m going bra less for comfort, not to attract anyone.

Edited
Show quote history

I know!!! what is this "all women should wear bras" thing?

gummywitch · 15/08/2026 14:28

As men think it's fine to parade their moobs in hot weather, I don't see a problem with not wearing a bra unless you're super droopy and need the support. I only wear a bra if I'm going out anyway. I like ribbed sleeveless bodysuits. They give support and shape, hide the nips, stop the jiggle and are surprisingly comfortable. Nice with shorts or floaty trousers right now.

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Clothing
gummywitch · 15/08/2026 14:36

No woman should feel she has to wear a bra just because society expects us to, though. It is a woman's right to choose and tough shit if anyone takes offence.

Original poster
DustyHedgerows · 15/08/2026 14:42

hoarderofthedough · 15/08/2026 12:55

Why not just wear a stretchy bra, the kind with no underwiring, that you just pull on over your head? It is comfy, gives support and covers nipples.

If I see a woman without a bra, my internal eyeroll is huge, because it's almost always for male attention.

Come on, Hoarder, you can't seriously say something like this with a straight face. "...almost always for male attention" -I have a lot of women friends, most of whom would absolutely get behind regular no-big-deal bra-lessness. Their ages span 3 decades, give or take a year or two, and they are definitely not motivated by the male gaze. Attention -or even appreciation- foisted upon me by unknown men is never a cheeky little bonus, it is a nuisance.

OP posts:
JayJayj · 15/08/2026 14:47

hoarderofthedough · 15/08/2026 12:55

Why not just wear a stretchy bra, the kind with no underwiring, that you just pull on over your head? It is comfy, gives support and covers nipples.

If I see a woman without a bra, my internal eyeroll is huge, because it's almost always for male attention.

Are you ok? Men have nipples too you know. That we can also see through tops. So men do this for women’s attention?

Can you give me 1 great reason why I NEED to wear a bra but men with breasts don’t? Please enlighten me.

lilkitten · 15/08/2026 15:14

I'm 48, 34DD, currently at work braless as with the heat I can't be bothered with multiple layers. Boobs are good though and don't need support, and I only do it with clothes where you can't tell.

lilkitten · 15/08/2026 15:16

sesquipedalian · 13/08/2026 11:28

It is, unfortunately, very ageing to go braless unless you have practically no bust, and then you need a bra to give you some shape. I was in a café the other day and there was a lady at the next table, smart, white hair very well cut, very nice linen dress and boobs round her knees. It’s sadly not a good look.

Is it age though, or just how perky they are? My boobs were very saggy in my 20s and 30s (first I'd had an eating disorder, lost a lot of weight too fast, and in 30s it was post-baby boobs looking saggy). But in my 40s they seemed to firm up and get higher

godmum56 · 15/08/2026 15:30

gummywitch · 15/08/2026 14:28

As men think it's fine to parade their moobs in hot weather, I don't see a problem with not wearing a bra unless you're super droopy and need the support. I only wear a bra if I'm going out anyway. I like ribbed sleeveless bodysuits. They give support and shape, hide the nips, stop the jiggle and are surprisingly comfortable. Nice with shorts or floaty trousers right now.

see there you go....all fine and dandy until you show your real self
"unless you're super droopy and need the support."

and there you go...as judgy as others.

Viperregency · 15/08/2026 15:30

For anyone interested I just got these.

i ordered a stick on bra and it was awful but came with two stick on nipple covers which were good, but you could tell as too thick, I guess cheap.

so I tried these, I’m a 30b cup and ordered rhe small. I just ordered another pair in large.as they will cover more and be more bra like. So I can wear those when out, They are absolutely amazing. They cover more than your nipple and are completely undetectable. My boobs don’t sag, but I’ve a couple of dresses where I can’t wear a bra as they ar backless, and I’d have no issues with wearing these out.

today I’m wearing a navy close fitting racer back top. And you cannot tell I’m braless. I tried on a cream vest in the same design as lighter material can make it more visible and you can’t tell.

im genuinely really surprised and will wear these a lot at home or when wearing back less clothes.

www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0BVLYFNKV?ref=ppx_yo2ov_dt_b_fed_asin_title&th=1&psc=1

Stelladid · 15/08/2026 16:04

godmum56 · 14/08/2026 23:22

you left out menopause and the resulting lessening of breast tissue...same as losing labia.

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We lose labia? 😳 I didn’t know that 😮

Stelladid · 15/08/2026 16:08

Nicewoman · 15/08/2026 09:50

I think you’ll find about half the replies on this post say older women should not go braless, regardless of the size of their boobs. That’s not misogyny, that’s women commenting.

Show quote history

It’s actually ageism

Stelladid · 15/08/2026 16:10

hoarderofthedough · 15/08/2026 12:55

Why not just wear a stretchy bra, the kind with no underwiring, that you just pull on over your head? It is comfy, gives support and covers nipples.

If I see a woman without a bra, my internal eyeroll is huge, because it's almost always for male attention.

What utter shite! You really need to reflect on your values if you really belief this.

godmum56 · 15/08/2026 16:27

Stelladid · 15/08/2026 16:08

It’s actually ageism

Show quote history

yup and even if it was 99.9% it would still be ageism

Tuesdayschild50 · 15/08/2026 16:45

Having well fitting bras arnt uncomfortable if you get measured.
Im 51 no way im going without a bra it makes your clothes look 100 times better with one .. if people are happy in loose oversized baggy tops fine but if you wear nice tops to accentuate your whole figure then im keeping a bra on .. im in my prime I want to feel good and look good.

godmum56 · 15/08/2026 16:49

Tuesdayschild50 · 15/08/2026 16:45

Having well fitting bras arnt uncomfortable if you get measured.
Im 51 no way im going without a bra it makes your clothes look 100 times better with one .. if people are happy in loose oversized baggy tops fine but if you wear nice tops to accentuate your whole figure then im keeping a bra on .. im in my prime I want to feel good and look good.

totally your choice, as is mine......and try getting costochondritis, shingles, post herpetic neuralgia or the results of back or shoulder injury and then tell me that bras are never uncomfortable.

BringBackCatsEyes · 15/08/2026 16:50

hoarderofthedough · 15/08/2026 12:55

Why not just wear a stretchy bra, the kind with no underwiring, that you just pull on over your head? It is comfy, gives support and covers nipples.

If I see a woman without a bra, my internal eyeroll is huge, because it's almost always for male attention.

If I don't wear a bra I barely have anything to see. The bras I do wear give me shape and look like I have more breast than I do. I can literally put my hand inside the gap in between boob and cup.

A crop top covers my nipples, but doesn't stop them showing, especially if it's cold ie not much different than no bra.

In a loose fitting dress the straps of a bra show.

Disturbia81 · 15/08/2026 17:08

lilkitten · 15/08/2026 15:16

Is it age though, or just how perky they are? My boobs were very saggy in my 20s and 30s (first I'd had an eating disorder, lost a lot of weight too fast, and in 30s it was post-baby boobs looking saggy). But in my 40s they seemed to firm up and get higher

Show quote history

I’m the same, mine have gone from droopy in 20s and after kids to now in my 40s my nipples finally face up!

gummywitch · 15/08/2026 17:19

When I said 'Unless you are super droopy and need the support' I meant in the context of if you feel better when you wear one, then do, not as a judgey observer. I went on to say every woman has the right to choose. No judgement as I'm somewhat droopy myself these days. As for disappearing labia, thank the lord for 0.01% topical vaginal oestrogen cream, that's all I'm saying! It's magical stuff! 😉

godmum56 · 15/08/2026 17:59

gummywitch · 15/08/2026 17:19

When I said 'Unless you are super droopy and need the support' I meant in the context of if you feel better when you wear one, then do, not as a judgey observer. I went on to say every woman has the right to choose. No judgement as I'm somewhat droopy myself these days. As for disappearing labia, thank the lord for 0.01% topical vaginal oestrogen cream, that's all I'm saying! It's magical stuff! 😉

I use Gina and they didn't grow back

StarlightLady · 15/08/2026 18:12

From this thread l have learned:

  1. Bras ate an optional item of clothing. Agree, but hold on…
  2. If you go braless, you are tying to attract the male gaze. Even if you are lesbian.
  3. And if you wear a push up bra you are trying to attract the male gaze. Oh, hold on a minute…
  4. The sight of the outline of a female nipple we almost turn someone to stone.
  5. Men can do what the bloody well like. But don’t worry about them being judgy, because other women can do that.
godmum56 · 15/08/2026 18:21

StarlightLady · 15/08/2026 18:12

From this thread l have learned:

  1. Bras ate an optional item of clothing. Agree, but hold on…
  2. If you go braless, you are tying to attract the male gaze. Even if you are lesbian.
  3. And if you wear a push up bra you are trying to attract the male gaze. Oh, hold on a minute…
  4. The sight of the outline of a female nipple we almost turn someone to stone.
  5. Men can do what the bloody well like. But don’t worry about them being judgy, because other women can do that.

pretty much....

bafta16 · 15/08/2026 18:25

@hoarderofthedough hilarious. The other day I was absolutely beside myself having foolishly gone out in the heat. I discarded every item on clothing immediately I got home.

Its about feeling well and comfortable. God knows I've earned the right.

Realworld10 · 15/08/2026 18:32

If you have smaller boobs the nipple covers are great! Not for work but other casual pop outs.