Is going braless in middle age really such a social faux pas?

[DustyHedgerows]

Not sure what's changed, whether it's the heat or just a general feeling of being 'done', but this summer, I have parted company with my bra. I'm middle-aged, not particularly busty, and am just not bothering to put one on in the mornings when I'm not working. I suddenly resent the idea of wearing one, as it's not as if I really need support -it really only sheilds the world from seeing a hint of my nipples under my top. DC are embarrassed to be seen with me and although I don't really care, I've noticed the odd person do a double-take when I'm out. I'm not wearing anything revealing, just a t-shirt, a buttoned shirt or loose-fitting dress.
Is going braless in middle-age really the social faux pas that my teens imply that it is?

we should have a club

I'm with you ❤️

You're right...it's a LOT judgy!

If you have a smaller bust and are middle age, I think it’s perfectly fine not to wear a bra. However, if you have a bigger bust everything starts to go south in your middle years and I’m sorry but it’s not a great look.

Ut who says it has to be?

I’m loving that my man is enjoying my bra lessness. I’m 47 and not particularly busty.

I would hate to see what you're like on a non-supportive day...

I think that's what some people don't get in this thread, bigger busts are always scrutinised in public, it doesn't matter what you do or wear.

At 40, I've still got a very full 36E comically bouncy chest that needs to be held in place. A good-fitting bra is a relief, not a constraint. A sports bra even more so.

And yes, people will for sure judge/stare at breasts that size more bralass, even if you wear a vest top.

Op, what about something like this? Markies do a few versions, they are really comfy and would maybe be a mid ground for you, I’ve a couple of them which I wear when at home and don’t want a bra on. Eveyrghing is held in place but with no discomfort.

i think the issue with the bra less look, is when you stand stationary and look in the mirror, it’s a very different look to when you’re moving around, even when sitting but moving your body.

I know when my friends girlfriend is stationary and talking to me it looks fine, but when she’s moving around, it becomes hugely obvious, you can see the outline of her breasts and as much as she’s a healthy weight and fit, they do look signficantly sagged and deflated due to age, and in some instances very lopsided, which I don’t think they are on the latter . It’s just as hee body moves.

that’s all fine if you don’t care, but many women do. As said, don’t assume whay you see in the mirror standing in a pose is what people see as you go about your day, it really isn’t.

and honestly her breasts should never be a thought that enters my head, never mind an involuntary gosh that’s not a good look. Due to how important her appearance is to her, I genuinely don’t think she realises. I think she looks in the mirror standing still and thinks that’s quite sexy, or it’s ok, you can’t tell, when it’s as obvious as the nose on her face.

https://www.marksandspencer.com/jasmine-lace-non-wired-longline-bralette-a-e-/p/clp60785844?_gl=1bz61ya_upMQ.._gs*MQ..&gclid=Cj0KCQjw-frTBhCvARIsADv4XY4ps8BGiqrHgKq7EUs9wQuTQFhZMXpDpSyfHqRD3RlIzNnnk__FOaUaApsrEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds&gbraid=0AAAAAD7g6bR49i3ElP45KhRbSHuBi6C27#intid=myanav_order-details_btn_buy-again

It’s all very well people saying bras are comfortable you just need to wear the correct size blah blah blah.
Yet, take the example above, they don’t do my size.
The last bra I bought was a 36 H.
I can wear a 36G too.
Most bras don’t go to that size.
I also like specific types of bra.
For example I want comfortable stretchy straps. I don’t want any sort of push up bra.
I want only nude or black.
I don’t want padded.
I’m sweating like a pug in this weather and my under boob sweat is awful.

I dint think it’s a good look if they’re droopy. Even if they aren’t, if they’re obvious through clothes, that’s not a great look either.

Personally, I feel more comfortable and confident wearing a bra at home and out in the day. Wear a jelly bra now and find them really good. Comfortable, supportive for my D-cups and gives a nice shape under tops which I like. But I am not wearing a bra to adhere to a societal standard!

it’s up to each individual person to decide how they wish to dress though and I am pleased women no longer have to wear a bra unless they choose to. A visible outline of a nipple is fine imo. See Jennifer Aniston in the noughties ‘free the nipple’ but personally i would feel rather exposed.

Then that's how you should wear them. I am so small, my breasts and stomach would become one.

That was probably me. I don’t care.

and again, have you tried Body Glide?

but would that be comfortable?

Who gives a shit if it's 'not a good look'? If the individual is happy and comfortable and doesn't care what others think about her normally ageing body, who is anyone else to say otherwise?

It's so sad to see this many women being so unpleasant and snide about other women's bodies. Just butt out.

What do you mean you can’t find bras in a 36G or H? I’m that size and have no issues finding bras. You just need to shop in the right places. I mainly get mine from Brastop, or try them on in Bravissimo to get the sizing right and look on Vinted for the same ones - new ones or even Amazon. My personal favourites are Panache Tango and Fantasie Fusion bras. I still want to whip them off the minute I get home - and if you don’t want to wear a bra that’s absolutely fine too, but I find them fairly comfy for most of the day.

I also suffer with underboob sweat and find a squirt of Sure anti perspirant spray helps just before I put my bra on. Or Dove stick anti perspirant.

This absolutely. This is honestly the worst body shaming thread I have seen in ages. Nobody wants to stop anyone wearing any kind of bra should they wish to, why is there such judgemeent of women who make different choices?

have you tried Body Glide? I am beginning to sound like I have shares in the company. I don't.

Never heard of it! But I’ll have a look, thanks.

I rarely wear a bra - except for work or in something see through. I'm 38, used to be a 30 E until my second child vanquished them to a 30 B, and I have no fucks to give.

Ahhhh... your generalised misogyny comes with a side-serving of racism. I did think you sounded remarkably unpleasant with your first post on this thread. Thanks for confirming my suspicions.

Are you actually female? You're talking about women as if you're not one yourself, so I just wondered. I'm assuming you're a rather pathetic male edgelord, getting his kicks on a female-dominated forum.

Nobody else thinks that the 'islamification' of the western world (sorry, what??) has led to generalised body policing. I think you're on your own with that one, mate. Own your misogyny, don't blame it on Muslims!

(also, it's utter bollocks to say that women don't go topless on beaches abroad. They do. Fashions change, and so does public awareness of sun damage, but plenty of women still choose to swim and sunbathe topless.)

@GlomOfNit it is my honest opinion. It was not meant to offend anybody. The reality is most people do care about how they look most of the time.
Please do not tell me (or anybody else) to ‘butt out’. It is rude. Mumsnet is an inclusive forum for anybody to voice their opinions. Sometimes we agree with others, sometimes we don’t.

Dear god, have you listened to yourself? Maybe your friend's GF doesn't care if people can <gasp> see her body as she MOVES. You say 'that's all fine if you don't care' - that's a good statement to make. Leave it there. Assume that grown women have an awareness of their own bodies and that they are making informed choices.