Lynn, these are sex people!

[OneHangryHiker]

I only wanted to join the parents association at dds secondary school to make some friends.

Turns out, if I wanted, I could make some REALLY good friends.

I’ve helped out loads for events this school year, been invited on nights out, it’s turned into recently being invited over with dh to houses of about 6 families who are close friends.

We were invited to an adult only get together this weekend, which as it turns out, is a sex festival, as Alan Partridge would call it.

I mean, I’m an adult; there’s no awkwardness, I said thanks but that’s not really our thing and everyone was cool, we still in the gang, just not the inner circle of shaggers, but hey, just my luck to have been friendless for years only to find sex people.

Thought this would give someone a laugh on my behalf.

Did you at least get a Baileys?

Things that happen in surburbia! Keys in the fruit bowl job pampas grasses and pineapples a plenty

That reminds me of a joke by Victoria Wood (of blessed memory) which goes something like this:

One of her clueless characters is invited to such a party. She throws her keys into the bowl and takes out another set.

“It were great. I went home with a Volvo. I only went on me scooter.”

I'm always told I'm easy to talk to and find people approach me easily. But I have never been asked to join something like this. I'm now questioning why not? I'm feeling slightly offended to be honest. I've done lots of volunteering for the PTA but maybe they aren't sex people.

That's so funny. I suspect that happens much more often than people care to admit. It's so presumptuous when you think about it!

AHAHHA me and DH have been approached by swingers a few times and I didn’t understand why it was happening until I saw a tick tok about pineapples… I have these big pineapple earrings that I used to wear, and the two occasions we were approached I had them on. Honestly before I knew that I had put it down to maybe we just look free spirited?? Weirdly the first time was when we were 18 and 19 and the couple were a lot older, the other time they were at least age appropriate.

The sex people truly are everywhere and they walk among us.

I'm laughing my head off at this and imagining my kids' old primary school PTA taking part in sexylympics- a vicar and a C of E nun 🤣🤣

I hope you washed your hands throughly after you left her house 🤢

¿Qué?

DH and I were invited to a dinner party at one of his colleague’s houses. There were two other couples there, all similar ages, and after dinner (which was nice but dull) we were invited to the cinema room. This room had comfortable sofas and a hard core porn film playing on the screen. This was when I faked a text from our babysitter and had to make our apologies. They were pleasant, fairly boring middle class folks, definitely not what I would have thought sex people were like.

You see, what I would have done in your situation was not to have told your husband, but have sent him over to collect some 'raffle tickets' one Friday night and then waited to see his face when he got home!

I avoided joining the PTA because I wanted to avoid endless meetings and petty debates over the use of commas. Maybe it would have been more exciting than I expected 😕

Oh my god! See, my reaction would have been directly related to how much alcohol I’d consumed. One end would be faking a babysitting emergency, the other would have been hysterical laughter before legging it out the door.

🤣🤣 he’s sat with me now, I’ve just read him that and he says, “oh, piss off!” 🤣

Was it Frome?

Tripadvisor but for shagging 😂😂😂I am on the floor here

If anyone can find the trip advisor for shaggers…..a link would be fabulous, thank you.

This thread has made my day

Brilliant - I love Lynn!
Good job they told you before it was a proper Alan situation…

Perdona, tengo el texto predictivo configurado en español

There was definitely hysterical laughter as we drove off! We’d noticed the host and hostess had changed into loungewear as we escaped.

Loungewear! 😂

dashes off to order lounge wear and pineapple
accessories

Goodness me. I’m not sure I would have understood what this meant. I would have thought maybe drinking and dancing and snacks as ‘wild’ and ‘boundaries’ as like the neighbours have work so inside by 11pm or something. I feel so naive!

What?!? I have a work dress with pineapples on - wtf message have I been accidentally sending? 🍍