Lynn, these are sex people!

[OneHangryHiker]

I only wanted to join the parents association at dds secondary school to make some friends.

Turns out, if I wanted, I could make some REALLY good friends.

I’ve helped out loads for events this school year, been invited on nights out, it’s turned into recently being invited over with dh to houses of about 6 families who are close friends.

We were invited to an adult only get together this weekend, which as it turns out, is a sex festival, as Alan Partridge would call it.

I mean, I’m an adult; there’s no awkwardness, I said thanks but that’s not really our thing and everyone was cool, we still in the gang, just not the inner circle of shaggers, but hey, just my luck to have been friendless for years only to find sex people.

Thought this would give someone a laugh on my behalf.

This is the best thread I've seen on here in ages. Thank you for sharing @OneHangryHiker it's given me such a giggle after a shit week.

A normal guy? On a swinger's site?? Surely you would only use it to screen people out and check that they're weren't signed up to fab swingers?

@Charys
”I wonder if these things are still going on.. they must be!”

I expect they are, but much more quietly. I remember going to the pub near school one lunchtime between my A levels exams. It was also in the 1970s. A group of our teachers was already there, sitting with them was the ‘girlfriend’ of one of them: she was in the L6.

Now Safeguarding would mean they would have to be much more discreet. The other staff would have a duty to report it.

Reading this post reminds me of a funny movie I saw this week ‘The Invite’ about a couple who invited their neighbours to dinner and got propositioned into becoming ‘swingers’. Worth watching - stars Penelope Cruz who is hilarious.

It never ceased to amaze me what people get up to behind the closed doors of suburbia.

exDP’s DM used to organise naked hikes in the 1950s!!!! She was a hippie before hippies actually existed. All the more surprising as she grew up in VERY privileged circumstances- she had a governess and a chauffeur. Oh and exDP was the result of an affair with her friend’s husband.

Dd has just finished primary school and will be attending a very prestigious grammer in September (stealth boast). If I don't get invited to the rich people hot tub sex parties I will be extremely disappointed.

I remember years ago,my dc made friends with another couples dc at school (I have older dc and younger dc)

Didn't really give it much of a thought-they had my dc on play dates,I had theirs

Until the other mum mentioned that they had an open relationship (they where married)

Where adult dd and I up for a foursome with her and her husband?

'Er no,nope,nopity no,not happening'

Speaking to other parents at the school,they where known for it,but I was the only one that was a single parent and he reeeaaalllyyyy liked dd

We couldn't get away fast enough (and i'll never forget the look on dds face!)

I have no idea if anyone else took them up on their offer (nobody admitted to it) but it didn't stop them trying

They really did seem so normal!

I would talk to her mum at the school gates and think 'you have no idea' (not that there was a reason she should-their sex life is their business)

'Sex people' indeed,they lurk everywhere...

I blame all this lewd hot tub behaviour on the Romans who invaded our shores, bringing their unseemly bath house ways here, and sowing the seed so to speak for the salacious suburban shenanigans today.

Wanders off thread muttering darkly about historical past forrin goings on.

I used to be friends with sex people, I went to a few topless club nights and one very interesting night with “equipment”, but I had no interest in going to the sex parties or having the sex. They told me “you don’t have to have sex, you can just sit in the kitchen! That’s where the bowls of condoms are. A couple of people do that, they don’t even take off their clothes”. Oh great, I will sit and chat to the weirdos who came to the sex party to explicitly not have sex 😂

I thought British people weren’t really capable of this sort of thing 😂😂😂

this has made me laugh thanks @OneHangryHiker

I have a hot tub that I use for drinking coffee and reading books in.

Am paranoid now people may think me a sex person! I used to invite (female only) friends to go in but only if they expressed they wanted to. Would never want a man in there bar DH.

Never happened to me either, but I give very standoffish vibes, even the office huggers get the message to steer clear. 😅

We did have 2 couple friends out of a group of 7 couples that went through a phase of sharing 'rooms'.

Jesus, call me a prude and a pearl clutches, but some people…😬

That’s just another way of saying ‘can my husband fuck your daughter?’. Just wow.

There’s a funny old movie called ‘ no sex please we’re British’ you might find amusing. I have to tell you that I’ve been told that British women are hot stuff, by various other nationalities. Funnily, I’ve been told Americans are the most prudish! Who knows, it’s all down to the individual really, isn’t it.

THEY THINK I AM A SEX POND PERSON

The hot tub would have put me off more than the wife swapping! 😂

My best friend and her husband moved to a rural village and after a while were invited to a couples' dinner party. Some time after dessert the hosts came into the room in their underwear with some body oil and asked who wanted a massage. Her and her DH made their excuses and a swift exit but they've dined out on that anecdote for years 😂.

Exciting stuff like this never happens to me!

This reminds me that some years ago a social-climbing aquaintance and her DP had a hot tub installed in their garden, and she made it absolutely plain that although DH and I had been round to parties at her house previously, we were never to think we could go round there and actually use it.

With hindsight - thank god for that!!

We moved to a rather nice market town in Hampshire about 18 mos ago, and now live in a cul de sac of 8 houses (yes you can see where this is going).

No. 4 is "Nick and Emma". Nick works in marketing and drives an Audi and Emma has one child, is blonde and slim, spends a lot of time lunching, and owns her own cupcake making business (yes really).

When we moved in they left us a welcome card and then followed up by mentioning that they normally had "a few small gatherings every year", just people from the cul de sac and nearby.

I bloody told DH they were swingers. I mean, an Audi and a home baking business! All the signs.

He didn't believe me.

The invite came for a Christmas gathering for a "small group of friends, adults only- we would love to see you both". I made DH go alone! He claims nothing happened but he was gone for an awfully long time and all he would say was "they were very friendly"

I'll fucking bet 🤔

I'm not a prude at all

Each to their own and as long as its between consenting adults and no children,animals or non consenting adults are involved,you crack on

She liked me and he liked (then 17 year old) dd (she's 30 next year and is still gobsmacked)

I couldn't believe the way she just dropped it into conversation!

Neither of us had any interest in them or each other!I draw the line at involving my dd in my sex life (and me in hers)

They genuinely seemed so normal until then

Well - i believe you. Our nearest neighbours down the lane are lovely people. Neat house. Caring. Christmas nibbles and a glass of sherry.

I recently discovered that the husband likes dressing up as a kangaroo at certain times and the wife has nazi tendencies !!! 😳

Oh this is getting hilarious now 😅

I am now intrigued as to why being blonde, driving and Audi and doing home baking makes it more likely you are a swinger! The mind boggles!

With a hot tub full of sperm floating about there could be a few unwanted pregnancies.

I own a pair of pineapple deely boppers, now I am concerned I have been sending out Sex People signals 🍍 😳

Perfect suburban couple!

too perfect 🤔