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Finding horrible things when elderly people die. ***Edited by MNHQ to add: TW: contains details some may find upsetting including details of CSA***

435 replies

Dappy777 · Yesterday 14:16

Has anyone else cleaned out a loved one’s home and found horrible stuff?

Last year my father in law died. He was 78, had lived alone for several years and died suddenly. After his death, we went through the house and found a hidden stash of pornography. It wasn’t illegal, but the magazines were called things like ‘Babyface’ and ‘Just 18’. In other words, the models were as childlike as it was legally possible to photo. We also found several pornographic books and stuff he’d printed off the Internet. Again, it was all young and underage girls. My partner was very upset. His dad had an old laptop but my partner smashed and burned it (he was venting his anger). He said he didn’t want to know what was on there and that it was best if his father took any secrets to the grave.

Anyway, a neighbour recently told me a similar story, only in her case it was even darker. After her partner’s dad died, they found photos he had taken of young girls playing in a nearby park. She said it looked as if he’d taken them from his car. There were a lot, apparently, and she and her partner burnt everything.

I wonder how common this is? When my own father died, I found a bit of pornography, but it was all pretty tame and adult. Even that upset me though. In all three cases the men died suddenly. I suppose people with a terminal diagnosis have time to destroy such things.

OP posts:
Carla786 · Yesterday 22:12

ForCosyLion · Yesterday 21:38

And even the ones who aren't deviant are still sex maniacs. I never want to live with a man again.

All men are sex maniacs? Certainly more than we want to think..

Apprentice26 · Yesterday 22:12

needaglowupnow · Yesterday 22:07

I take it you readily took these 'nasty bastards' money after they died?

Sounds like giving her money was the least they could do

dannyufcfan · Yesterday 22:14

Error404FucksNotFound · Yesterday 22:11

I'm more disgusted by the things found when the men posted here died tbh.

That seems fair.

We can be disgusted by different things, at once.

Carla786 · Yesterday 22:15

BeaRightThere · Yesterday 18:48

It's totally inaccurate. It was 62 million hits on a mainstream porn site which featured some somnophilia content. The actual forum in which talk of such fantasies occurred - some of which AFAIK definitely was about drugging and raping women - actually comprised a much much smaller number of users, in the thousands not millions. Which is still terrible of course but is not anywhere like the headline figure of 62 million, not all of whom, as you say, are men and many of which would have been repeat visitors.

I agree.

But arguably the term 'somnophilia content' makes it sound like any old fetish- it's not a fetish that's harmless, it's depraved.

CharleneElizabethBaltimore · Yesterday 22:16

Carla786 · Yesterday 22:15

I agree.

But arguably the term 'somnophilia content' makes it sound like any old fetish- it's not a fetish that's harmless, it's depraved.

as dont want to google the term, what is it ?

Carla786 · Yesterday 22:16

zukinizen · Yesterday 17:28

I am not surprised....recently just was reading about the personal life of a foreign beauty in her 50s but looking very young and glam with surgery. Just looked at comments, all men saying the most horrible things: Grad dad would come and help you out, rubbing something...I was totally shocked, as I am from this culture and pedophilia is unheard of

Sorry- do you mean paedophilia is unheard of in the culture you come from? Do you mean here or another culture? Which culture do you mean?

Carla786 · Yesterday 22:17

CharleneElizabethBaltimore · Yesterday 22:16

as dont want to google the term, what is it ?

Somnos- Greek for sleep.

So somnophilia means arousal at the thought of having sex with a sleeping person- ie. Rape!

Clearly Dominique Pelicot was one.

ilovepixie · Yesterday 22:18

RaveToTheGrave1 · Yesterday 15:11

We found letters that my grandma had written to herself and my mums father about my mum, some very nasty things were said, her father had written back and theyd sort of been discussing her and things that happened to her when she was younger and why hadnt she gotten over it, my mum was devastated and has since chosen to not read any more and gotten rid of them all and now pretends it never happened.
My other grandmother we found out she had been a land girl, nobody ever knew.

What’s wrong with being a land girl?

OonaStubbs · Yesterday 22:19

Something needs to be done about men. They are becoming more and more sexually disgusting. I don't know what the answer is. Maybe put something in the water? Bromide?

CharleneElizabethBaltimore · Yesterday 22:19

Carla786 · Yesterday 22:17

Somnos- Greek for sleep.

So somnophilia means arousal at the thought of having sex with a sleeping person- ie. Rape!

Clearly Dominique Pelicot was one.

jesus christ , mary. no wonder aliens fly by earth

Pedallleur · Yesterday 22:21

dannyufcfan · Yesterday 22:09

Some disgusting comments about men in this thread.

Edited

Whilst I agree with that comment there are (or seem to be) a lot of disgusting men! They don't seem to be dying out

38thparallel · Yesterday 22:22

A colleague’s grandad went out to Germany at the end of the war when allies were arresting Nazis and putting them on trial. When he was packing his bags to come back he chucked a few hand guns with swastikas on them into his luggage, as souvenirs.

My father brought back two revolvers that he took from a German officer who he had taken prisoner. When gun ownership laws were tightened up a few decades ago, he chucked them in the river.

Carla786 · Yesterday 22:22

OonaStubbs · Yesterday 22:19

Something needs to be done about men. They are becoming more and more sexually disgusting. I don't know what the answer is. Maybe put something in the water? Bromide?

I think a real effort needs to be made to shut down criminal porn on the dark web. There were abusers and paedophiles before but they didn't have the inrernet to help them connect.

Pedallleur · Yesterday 22:23

Carla786 · Yesterday 22:16

Sorry- do you mean paedophilia is unheard of in the culture you come from? Do you mean here or another culture? Which culture do you mean?

Doubt there is a culture where paedophilia isn't practised either in plain sight touted as religion or behind closed doors.

HaveYouHadYourBreak · Yesterday 22:27

"Dress like a sexy school girl" club nights were a thing when I was at uni. Obviously modern eyes tell us how awful that was and now I'm embarrassed that I took part but I enjoyed it at the time.

However, my now husband and a lot of other male friends felt very uncomfortable with it and thought it was inappropriate so didnt join in. Other men went but made a point of not going home with the women dressed like children. There were also plenty of men, who like me, took part because they thought it was harmless fun but in hindsight feel yukky about it.

My point is, that these men "aren't like that". This was 25+ years ago so not the most enlightened period for these discussions.

Pedallleur · Yesterday 22:27

Carla786 · Yesterday 22:22

I think a real effort needs to be made to shut down criminal porn on the dark web. There were abusers and paedophiles before but they didn't have the inrernet to help them connect.

The Genie is out of the bottle I'm afraid. Even the normal websites struggle/are reluctant to do anything. This stuff can be loaded from anywhere/anytime and give the right people enough money they will help you.

CharleneElizabethBaltimore · Yesterday 22:28

HaveYouHadYourBreak · Yesterday 22:27

"Dress like a sexy school girl" club nights were a thing when I was at uni. Obviously modern eyes tell us how awful that was and now I'm embarrassed that I took part but I enjoyed it at the time.

However, my now husband and a lot of other male friends felt very uncomfortable with it and thought it was inappropriate so didnt join in. Other men went but made a point of not going home with the women dressed like children. There were also plenty of men, who like me, took part because they thought it was harmless fun but in hindsight feel yukky about it.

My point is, that these men "aren't like that". This was 25+ years ago so not the most enlightened period for these discussions.

i never understood why society allowed the concept from the beginning

Katemax82 · Yesterday 22:33

My husband and I have a stash old porn videos from the early 2000s in our loft. I'll make a note to destroy it asap in case we both die

TheGander · Yesterday 22:35

38thparallel · Yesterday 22:22

A colleague’s grandad went out to Germany at the end of the war when allies were arresting Nazis and putting them on trial. When he was packing his bags to come back he chucked a few hand guns with swastikas on them into his luggage, as souvenirs.

My father brought back two revolvers that he took from a German officer who he had taken prisoner. When gun ownership laws were tightened up a few decades ago, he chucked them in the river.

If I recall correctly the guns were decommissioned by the armed response unit and the family were allowed to keep them.

Marp · Yesterday 22:35

Yes, we had a surprise clearing out my elderly father in law's belongings. We think he may have been into cross dressing as we found lots of female underwear and woman's clothes in his size. Also, found straps, bondage stuff and 'how to books' on autoerotic asphyxiation.
My husband was shocked and he never really spoke much about it. It never really bothered me.

Crudd99 · Yesterday 22:35

Apprentice26 · Yesterday 22:12

Sounds like giving her money was the least they could do

Agree.

Pedallleur · Yesterday 22:36

CharleneElizabethBaltimore · Yesterday 22:28

i never understood why society allowed the concept from the beginning

Patriarchal society. I remember watching Rod Stewart at Glastonbury on TV around 2010 and he had a string section of women dressed in what appeared to be school girl attire. He'd be 60+ then and I thought you need to be told NO! 1972 was 35+ years ago

dannyufcfan · Yesterday 22:36

Pedallleur · Yesterday 22:21

Whilst I agree with that comment there are (or seem to be) a lot of disgusting men! They don't seem to be dying out

They certainly outnumber women by a great degree when it comes to being . deviants. That is for sure.

needaglowupnow · Yesterday 22:36

Apprentice26 · Yesterday 22:12

Sounds like giving her money was the least they could do

Rubbish.

Loobyloolovesandypandy · Yesterday 22:37

Reallyneedsaholiday · Yesterday 20:26

I’m feeling a lot better about my drawers of sex toys, after reading this thread 😂😂😂

Drawers plural? Impressive