DH never comes to bed with me

[Thingscouldntgetanyworse]

That’s it really. He’s a night owl. I know I can’t ask him to change but I hate that I always go to bed alone. I stay up far later than my brain is thankful for (I’m going to bed now at 00.49 but I’ve been tired since 11) and he says “I’ll be in the now” but he won’t be. It’ll be closer to 2am before he comes to bed.

does Anyone out there actually go to bed same time as their DP?

No. I go in with DS, usually fall asleep. He watches telly.
Or else DH goes in early, starts snoring. I stay up reading.

DH always goes to bed a few hours before me. I’m very much a night owl and he likes to be tucked in by 10pm. I love it. We get to hang out in the evening, then I get my ‘me time’ in a quiet house.

Snap, no solution but solidarity. I actually think it’s very unreasonable behaviour, why can’t they just go to bed???? I put it down to laziness, can’t be bothered to get up. Every morning he wakes up and says he’s tired and I say that’s because you aren’t getting enough sleep, surely it’s not that difficult to fathom?

Mine has always done this-married a long long time . I embrace it. I watch something, read a bit, spread out. Now I find it have to be asleep when he comes up or I can't sleep.

No but I don’t see why it matters.

Why can't an adult choose their own bedtime?

I can’t imagine it’s that likely many people regularly go to bed at the same time?

Separate bedrooms here. Which we've good used to, and I'm very content with the arrangement, but one reason it came about was DW trying to make me go to bed at the time set by her body clock.

Close to 2 am though? That's insane!

Always think it’s weird, possibly controlling when one person wants to decided their bed time should be their partner’s too!

My friend and her DH always go to bed together. I think that's weird! I couldn't stay up late until my partner was ready for bed and he wouldn't be able to sleep if he came to bed early with me.

Yes, we do. I want to cuddle and have sex and we don't really get a chance to do that, if we don't go to bed together.

Sometimes, my DH stays up to play games but he then complains that I'm hogging the duvet or on his side of the bed when he gets there. Be there or be square, imo though.

I work nights and I snore. So I generally stay up longer than my partner. He likes to get to bed and to sleep before I do. That way he doesn't get disturbed by my snoring. I should probably get my snoring problem checked out at the GP to be honest. I don't know what they would do about it though.

I wouldn't mind it personally but as a sidenote my ex dp used to come to bed hours after me & I later found out he was talking to other women online whilst I was in bed.

Since you’re not in boarding school, why would you have the same bedtime?

Im exactly the same. Ive never been one for going to bed early.

Sometimes DH and I do and sometimes we don’t.

Why do you need to go to bed at the same time though? That’s really odd. Unless his sleep/wake cycle causes problems with work, kids etc or it means he’s not pulling his weight at home, why do you need to change it? I think it’s a very strange thing to think you should always go to bed together. Just go to bed when you’re tired and let him do the same.

Nope rarely hubby likes to be tucked up by 10 and I don't

That’s the only way I can go to sleep, as my husband snores like a train too. Are you overweight? That usually makes snoring a hell of a lot worse. Worth going to the doctor if it’s disturbing people.

This makes me glad I'm single 😁

It’s a bit clingy/immature

It could be a lack of intimacy issue.

We go to bed at the same time every single night. Not once has one of us gone later than the other. We cuddle to sleep.

Why is it clingy and immature, if works for the two of them?

We go to bed at the same time but DP stays awake longer to read.

Same in our house

i do think it’s problematic, largely because he’s tired as hell the next day and it kills weekends. And that’s before acknowledging the lack of bedroom action due to never being awake in bed at the same time