Siblings - do you get on with yours?

[HowDairy]

And do your DCs get on with theirs?

No. I have had to go no contact with my sibling. He was always rather useless and used weaponised incompetence as a way to avoid doing things. Things escalated massively when two close relatives died, who we had to manage the estate for.

He showed his true colours once all the of the elder generation was dead. Even more weaponised incompetence, either lying about a financial settlement situation or stealing 5k due to the estate for himself. Lots of gaslighting as well.

His wife was even worse believe it or not. She said the most horrific things to me, entirely unprovoked.

I came to the conclusion he/they added nothing positive to my life and only created stress and drama. I have no space for stress and drama, life is too short, so they were swiftly removed from my life .

My sister is 8 years older than me and we've never got on. We grew up more or less separately due to the age gap. We've nothing in common. Despite living 8 miles apart we never see each other. I've only been to her house once.

Her daughter lives abroad but my kids have nothing to do with her. Mainly because she thinks she's superior to them. She was a horrible child and has grown into n unpleasant adult.

How sad! Have you and your sister ever tried to bridge the gap?

No. Sibling is fucking irritating, bossy and patronising and mind numbingly intense about things.

Unfortunately, we’re quite alike.

I and my sister are five and a half years apart. We aren't close at all. In fact lately she has really alienated me with some things she said. I don't really feel like I want any more to do with her. I don't know my nieces at all really. It's quite sad.
My brother is also younger than me but we get on much better, though I rarely see him.

Not really. In the past she's told people stuff I'd told her in confidence. She was always difficult even when our parents were alive.

I don't feel any connection with her - we just happened to be born to the same parents.

I see sisters who are really close and wonder what that's like.

One dsis - always close even when we lived on opposite sides of the planet. We make an effort to meet up every few weeks although we don't live near each other, and go on a short holiday together every year.

She's one of my favourite people.

Nope, havent spoken to my sibling in 7 years. I dont intend that to change anytime soon. They made their bed and can lay in it.

I’m one of 6, the eldest and there’s 20 years between me and the youngest .

we get on well, all very different , we keep in touch individually but absolute adore Christmas when we meet up Boxing Day at our parents house .
we all live in a 10 mile radius of each other , but we don’t live in each others pockets .
all of us would be there immediately if one of us needed supported.

Yep get on well with my brother. We are quite different but make an effort with each other and spend lots of time with each other. Our families are close to each other too which is lovely. We all spend lots of time together.

my children, one boy, one girl, also get on well and love each other a lot. Both under 10 at the moment, so hope it continues

I wonder whether parents make a big difference in how siblings get on. We had a very strange upbringing. We didn't have a relationship with cousins Aunts or uncles. My parents had no friends. We didn't celebrate Xmas or birthdays. As adults there was no reason to come home and be together as a family . My parents moved to a flat when we left home and it was made clear that we weren't very welcome to visit or stay. Consequently my siblings and I had no opportunity unless we visited each others homes to meet. It was all very isolating.

I believe my brother has had issues with me for around 17 years. My mum hasn't helped me to find out what his issue are and has just played dumb but gets upset that we aren't close. She hasn't tried anything to help him work through was is wrong (no issues on my part) so I'm done.

My sister is my best friend. I trust her implicitly. My sons have an eight year age gap but are firm friends. I’m lucky. All are nice people

@Whosthetabbynow That's interesting about your sons. They have the same age gap as my sister and me. We've never been close which I've always blamed on the gap. When I was in Primary School she was in secondary, when I was at secondary she was at nursing so I felt we had nothing in common.

I think it's more down to the fact that she's not the kind of person I'd have been friends with had we not been sisters.

I don't ascribe to the "blood is thicker than water" stuff.

Mostly. We didn't when we were young - as children my sister and I would quarrel and even physically fight quite a lot, and then as teenagers we despised each other as we had basically opposite tastes in everything.

But once we got to adulthood, we gradually developed a closer relationship - I'm sure others are the same - that uniquely shared history where you instantly know what the other is talking about does a lot to cover other differences.

I have to give her space, though. She has a kind of limited tolerance of people generally and has sometimes lashed out at me if I've breached it; I don't tend to do that in return. If I let it alone, she'll get over it.

We do have very different tastes and style. She's a jeans/t-shirt/zero make up sort of person, whereas I'm a skirts and dresses routinely wear make-up person. Musically, I joke that there's only one song in the entire history of rock and pop that we both like. However, we share the same favourite colour and have a bit of friendly rivalry as to which of us has got in first wearing it when we go out together. We do look very alike facially and have very similar hair though hers is always in better nick than mine.

Ultimately, we love each other and though we are not a gushy, touchy-feely family, we are not afraid to say 'I love you' when the occasion is right.

Just the two of us and we don't talk. In any event, there was a sufficient age difference and we didn't grow up together as such, so he was always more like an older cousin anyway.

Ah right. Yes my sons are fairly similar but ds1 is more laid back than ds2 but both are easy going. Their friends also cross over sometimes. They’re all like-minded. Nice chaps.

Yes I get on with my 4 siblings. Never fallen out with them or had an argument. I’m closer to my sisters in terms of holidaying with them and socialising. Ime it’s when partners were introduced that things became strained amongst my siblings (due to personality clashes). I try and stay out of any drama.