Siblings - do you get on with yours?

[HowDairy]

And do your DCs get on with theirs?

I did not get on with my sister growing up, my father did not like us getting on so would deliberately cause rivalry between us. Once we were adults and old enough to realise what he had been doing we started to get on. My father still tries to do it now and we’re in our 40s. I also have two brothers who are over 10 years younger than me who I get on well with. I left home when they were still primary school age so there has never been any friction between us. It was really important to me that I encouraged my children to get on and there not to be any jealousy between them, they get on really well together - they are teens now and socialise with each other etc.

I’m the youngest of 4 and we all get on great and live quite close all in the same town a 10 minute drive apart. We’ve always been close and all our children are super close (11 between us) I’d hate not having them in my life: we’ve all had our moments but no matter what we all are there for each other if needed.

I'm one of 3 and hated my siblings particularly my little brother I would cry and cry when mum couldn't take him back to hospital. I was such a nasty cow to him all the time. When I turned 16 things changed and we get on great now. We hang out when we can watch things together ect. My oldest brother we are fine but it's more polite chit chat we have 0 things in common and he sees the world very black and white.

My kids we have 5. Eldest girl is close to my 2nd son. My 1st son loves everyone of his siblings but very very close with 2nd son. my 3rd son absolutely adores 1st son and youngest is just a baby but seems to like eldest dd and 1st son the most. The most difficult to get along with is 2nd son he's just needs to keep his attitude and controlling in check (will come with age and guidance I think) it's funny how it all works out.

Me, my brother & sister get on very well, the usual sibling banter, rivalries etc. I have 3 half siblings from my dad, I love them to bits but we are not close. They also live miles and miles away. Also the age gap. They are literally the same age as my dc.
My 2 dc do get on occasionally, there’s a 5 year age gap and DS has autism and dd never shuts up (we suspect adhd) so there’s been a fair few arguments over boundaries etc.

Mostly...but it's quite a one-sided relationship :/

I’m the middle one of 3.

I have spoken with my older sister possibly 3 or 4 times in 30 years. I haven’t spoken with my younger brother for well over a decade.

I don’t think my brother and sister have spoken to each other since they were children which was 30 years ago.

We all live fairly locally but our lives don’t cross over at all. My DS doesn’t even know I have siblings.

Yes I have one older sister who I've pretty much always got along with. She's still very much the older sister and quite bossy. But we like to go out and always have loads to talk about. Get on with her husband and our kids etc.

I'm happy to have the sister I have now our parents are elderly and failing; so we are in it together.

My dc, now adults, get on pretty well too.

I get on with two sibling but not the third. The third sibling and his wife don’t seem to get on with anyone including her family so I don’t take it too personally.

My kids are adults and get on really well. They make a big effort to meet up. They have shared interests and that makes it easy. They meet up with partners also without. They laugh a lot and are very supportive of each other. It makes me very happy.

I do not get along with my siblings. My DM obviously favours the youngest golden child. I am the oldest scapegoat.

My young adult dcs all get along very well. My childhood made me more attuned to not favouring and not scapegoating anyone.

There was a period of time when my two youngest fell out as young teens but I worked hard with them to not let it escalate, and they are great friends now.

I have 4 sisters and we all get on. The eldest 3 are very close to each other and I am closer with my younger sister. We meet up several times a year even though we live in different areas of the country and one overseas. I'm going on a holiday with my youngest sister in November. I'm meeting up with another sister on France later this month as we are both holidaying in France roughly the same time albeit in different areas.

Only child, so no siblings for me 😔

I would love at least one sibling, although I of course appreciate there is a possibility we may not have got along.

I must admit though, I am green with envy at people who have close siblings. Some people I know from school have close siblings. They have had kids at a similar time, so now they are all growing up together in a lovely close family.

I often scroll through Facebook and look at all these families and wonder why I couldn't have been blessed with those kind of bonds.

But of course I know that many families are not like that at all, siblings can call out etc.

He lives 80 miles away, and contact online is friendly. I am planning to move closer because the county is cheaper than where I live in London but there's still goung to be a healthy 20 miles between us. DB is a bit boring, a bit old before his time, and he's my younger sibling!

I love my siblings so so much, they’re the people I’m closest to in life along with my son and my parents. I’m one of 4 but my younger brother sadly collapsed and died out of the blue in 2019 in his 30s. I miss him so much.

We had a lot of fun growing up together as kids but we also squabbled a LOT. As adults we are very close emotionally, though it’s a slightly different relationship with each sibling and another dynamic again when we are all together. I definitely get on best and always have with my youngest sister (I’m the oldest). We just have very similar personality types, and my other sister and my late brother less so. As in I wouldn’t necessarily have been drawn to them as friends if we weren’t related, but because we are, we love(d) each other despite our differences.

We all live(d) in different bits of the U.K. but meet up frequently and often holiday all together with the whole extended family which is really fun. I get on really well with my sibling’s spouses as well and even my late brother’s widow still comes on our family holidays despite now living abroad. Both of my BILs have said they’re a bit jealous of how well we all get on.

Our kids all get on well too, though my son is at least a decade older than all of the rest of his little cousins which is a bit of a shame for him, but I’m hoping as adults they can all have a more equal relationship! Currently he tolerates them climbing all over him, but sometimes locks himself away in a room with his laptop to get away from them haha.

So sorry for your loss. My brother died too, in 2019. I do have 2 other siblings and it must be even worse if this was your only sibling. I think sibling loss is very very hard, and it’s not the sort of grief that most people understand or have to deal with themselves until they are elderly. Plus siblings are usually further down the “grief hierarchy” compared to parents, children, spouses, so it can leave you feeling like nobody understands or that your grief doesn’t seem to matter as much, despite having lost a first degree relative who you’d have reasonably expected to play a huge role in your future life as well as knowing you since you were very young and having lived together for many years.

Yes and yes. I'm one of eight. Friends always express their surprise at how well we all get on together. There's no sibling rivalry and if I asked, every one of them would come running. My youngest DB died unexpectedly when he was 19. I think this makes us all appreciate what we have and the fragility of life.
I have 3 adult DC. My 2DSs work together and despite an almost ten year age gap, they get on brillianly.
DC1 is married with a baby. DS2 and DD still live at home. They often go out together with DS2's GF for things from theme parks to Nandos and the cinema. The 18 and 21yo also regularly visit DC1's home and adore their new roles of auntie and uncle.
I am quite ill with a life limiting condition. I consider my siblings and the way my own DC get on as two of the greatest blessings in my life.

Me too!

Awww. I totally agree, having siblings who get on well is definitely one of life’s great blessings (also one of life’s great sorrows when they die, but that’s the price of loving anybody and it’s worth the pain). I genuinely feel slightly sorry for people who don’t have siblings, but also try not to feel too guilty for having an only child myself (this was not the plan at all, I ideally wanted like 6 kids minimum but had compromised on 3-4 as more realistic, however domestic abuse and divorce ultimately got in the way).

Only one of my siblings has three DC (like me). The rest have only children. DC1 is married to an only child of two only children. DIL has no aunts, uncles or cousins as well as no siblings. She enjoys my huge family at our regular get togethers, but I don't think she had a huge gap in her life. She has lovely friends and a great bond with both her parents and DH and I. I'm meeting her for lunch later. Maybe her lack of family meant there was more room in her life for us.

I believe only DC will be the norm in the future. Life is so expensive now. I doubt DS and DIL will go on to have more DC, despite years of heartbreaking losses and fertility treatment to have GD. I know far more families with single DC now than in the past

No, not at all. I have 1 sister and can’t bear her. We are worse than chalk and cheese and I wonder how two people raised the same can be so so different. She probably thinks I’m the golden child and she was the scapegoat but it’s more that she was a bit of a dick growing up and has never grown out of it. She still acts like a spoiled teenager in her 40s and I just couldn’t tolerate it anymore. We haven't spoken in years.

My 2 are teens and get on mostly. I hope they have a closer bond than me and my sister.

I’m one of three. We all get on very well. We don’t talk all the time, but we are all there for each other at any moment when we’re needed. We also like each others’ spouses. We’re all going on holiday with my DF together next week.

I have 3 DCs, and so far they are very close to each other (all primary age). They are also devoted to their baby cousin, especially my 2 boys, but we’ll see if that lasts. Fingers crossed.

4 of us, I’m the youngest by a way and the 2 eldest went to boarding school. We get on well when we see each other, but it’s birthdays, weddings and funerals as we are scattered over the world and both parents died a long time ago now. We have a rough idea what is going on in each other’s lives.

the children know each other but are all very different and wouldn’t hang out naturally….

If we lived closer we’d see more of each other.

I have 4 brothers, the three oldest were that much older than me that we weren't that close, though the 2nd oldest was very kind to me and played with me when I was very small.
The one closest to me in age I was always very close to, we played together all the time, and fought a lot but always made up, have so many in-jokes and sometimes it feels like we have the same mind, when we both remember the exact same thing from our childhood at the same time. I've lived abroad for years now so haven't been in contact much but this year he moved in with me (though now he pretty much lives with girlfriend nearby) and we hang out a lot. He drives me nuts a lot of the time but I'm glad he moved here, its like we're kids again.

I am the youngest of three. We all get along when we do catch up. My DH is not close to his sibling but that is because they don’t have much in common.

DC is a one and only.

It wasn’t always easy to get along with my siblings. For a while we were low contact. I looped us all back together and accepted that I wouldn’t get an apology. Too long to get into it but I am happy that we all get along now.

No. I despise mine and if I never see him again it'll be too soon. DH is one of 8, none of them really get on.
All contributed to us not wanting children (we had a surprise one, but just the one...)

I am one of five - in the main we get in very well.

my children not so much.