Siblings - do you get on with yours?

[HowDairy]

And do your DCs get on with theirs?

Same.

My sister is on Mumsnet, I wonder if you are her!!

I have no contact with my brother, thanks to my mother.

I have two half brothers, two half sisters and a stepsister. I get on very well with one of my half sisters, and ok with the other, and the rest I have no relationship. I would have loved a close family but you can't force it. My boys do not get on well, but they are not hostile, just very different people. They are older teens, and I think they will get on better when they are adults.

Hmmm... does your name begin with T? 😄

I only have 1 sibling and we have always got on well but it's definitely taken some work in recent years. My parents both fell out with their siblings and I saw the effect this had on everyone, including us, separating us from our cousins, grandparents, aunties and uncles - devastating. It had a ripple effect. No matter how annoying my sibling gets, can't imagine doing that ever.

My children are all adults now (well nearly) and I can see potential for disagreements, especially with one of them who is difficult. But I hope we have role modelled tolerance and acceptance and we encourage them all to get on/do things together - but hopefully this will continue when we have less influence on them. I would hate to have them all fall out :(

I have 2 siblings. A brother I see maybe once every couple of years at most and a sister I haven’t seen for about 7 years. My brother and sister also haven’t seen each other for a long time, at least 5 maybe 10 years.

I don’t think I’ve spoken to either of them on the phone or messaged them for well over a decade.

We are just all very different people and have literally nothing in common with each other so none of us see the point in making an effort.

My DS is 5. My sister has never met him and he doesn’t even know she exists.

It doesn’t bother any of us in the slightest.

Mixed bag. My brothers, I’m very close to, and see all the time. I consider them friends and confidantes as well as siblings but alas, despite my best efforts, I cannot maintain relationships with my sisters. Ultimately we are just very different people with little in common and very few elements of our lives align. Sadly they seem to be rather too self absorbed to even try to find common ground, even when I try, which is a shame.
My children are the very best of friends right now but they’re very small, and while of course, I hope they remain close, you just never know! I shall keep my fingers crossed.

I have a half brother, my only sibling. I haven’t spoken to him in 25 years since we wrapped up my dad’s estate. I can see where he lives on Facebook (I’ve moved countries since I was in my 20s so thankfully on the other side of the world from him), but zero desire to ever speak to him again.

He has no partner as far as I can tell, never married, and no children and is older than me. Only time he ever crosses my mind is wondering if he’ll die intestate and I may get some heir hunters looking for me one day. I don’t think he has any money 😂 but I’m probably one of his only living relatives.

My oldest brother committed CSA on me. My sister regularly subjected me to violence breaking my nose, arm and finger. My younger brother was lovely. He died three years ago.
I don't talk to my sister as she's a bully, jealous and a liar. She accused me of stealing from our father who had lived with us and I gave up my career to nurse. I see my older brother once a year in a large family group.

I get on well with two of my siblings. We always get together when I visit my Mum and we are all supportive of each other. However the other sibling doesn’t get on with anybody including our mother. He’s a nasty piece of work. His wife is anwful and she doesn’t get on with any of us or any of her own family. All their children moved far away from them and rarely visit.

I’ve four kids who are in their late 20s and early 30s and they are really close. They regularly arrange to spend the weekend at each others houses and when one decides to visit they all seem to come. It really lovely and makes me so happy. Their partners all seem to get on well too. We are all going on holiday next year. I’m pretty sure some Mumsnetters would describe it as enmeshed

One of 4, we all get on but don’t seem to see each other as much in recent years (age range late 40s-50s) not sure why, ? Impact of middle age, parents ageing, perhaps unspoken rifts. Is a real shame really as up to 40/ were really close

Yes, and all live within an hour of eachother and WhatsApp frequently. Despite that, we only see eachother maybe twice a year. I find since Covid, hardly anyone visits me at home, not like they used to anyway, even family.

I only had one sibling and he died in his early 20s. We fought as kids but had been really close from our mid-late teens onwards.
I have 3 and they all get on brilliantly. The two eldest would defend each other to the death. The youngest is profoundly disabled and they both adore him.

Do you visit them at home?

I get on with 2 out of 3 of them.

No, I don't really I must admit. I don't like driving anymore (lost partner in a related incident) and they are very difficult to get to via public transport. One of them has never driven either, so we all meet somewhere easy to get to.

I get on with them and love them a lot, however we are very different with v different routines, locations, and didn't all grow up together, so there's quite an age difference. Overall I think we manage quite well considering we don't have much in common - we still manage to have fun together.
They can move into parent vibes with me - as they are over 20 years older. Sometimes that can cause friction but I try to roll with it and stay focused on the positives. I'm pretty lucky really, neither of my parents had good relationships with their siblings and they came from big families, so lots of drama/fallouts which I'm glad me and my siblings haven't replicated.

No. He's a narcissist dick and I despise what he's done to the family 😡

No. Growing up I was permanently on edge, how happy the house was depended on what mood he was in. We are adults now and as of this year, we no longer talk. Not that we did much before, only if we were visiting parents the same time. My children are close and get on, and I think his children get on.

1 sister, but we don’t have much to do with each other.
No particular reason and we get along fine if we see each other, but we live at opposite ends of the country and have very little in common.
We weren’t close as kids either.

IRL from what I’ve observed, the siblings that don’t seem as bonded or close have unresolved childhood issues that they carry over in adulthood.

Some I have seen express jealousy at another sisters spouse or looking down at others if their finances are below another siblings.

The one’s still close were always close in childhood (fighting is normal and part of parcel of being kids).

See once a year tops, same as SILs and BILs, usually for Christmas (not on the day itself though).

I never see my brother nor speak to him unless we see my mum. We literally have nothing in common and we live a good few hours away. Nothing bad but I wouldn’t hang out with him in real life if he wasn’t my brother. I do wonder if we’ll just lose touch once mum dies.

This is an interesting thread. Thanks, OP and PPs.

I come from a large family, both parents are now dead. We were very close - enmeshed - as children, though we also self-divided into an older group and a younger one.

The childhood was problematic. I'm the only one who's done extensive therapy, and it seems to have damaged my relationships with my sibs. There's a whole swathe of assumptions about the way the world works (and about each other) which I no longer share. I put my foot down about some family jokes and funny stories, and could see at the time they were shocked. I stopped playing along with the family mythology: while I knew better than to challenge it directly, they naturally felt my lack of engagement.

We get along. We'll always be important to one another, I think. We are not close. The next generation don't fraternise. Our parents discouraged friendship with our cousins, so that part of normal family relations may have been missing from the template.