EBSA support thread 2

[Luddite26]

Hopefully this links to Brambley Hedges EBSA support thread.
A community to discuss the processes and support each other when children are experiencing Emotionally Based School Avoidance.

@ISaySteadyOn aww that is sweet then. Much nicer than some snotty pre-teen boys hollering ‘oh you you’re leng innit’ across the playground 🤣

@2x4greenbrick good morning. Yesterday was the 4 week deadline end.

I have emailed them backwards and forwards and explained that they must send the notice to review and the proposed amendments together by law within 4 weeks of the review meeting and just keep getting the same spiel, that they'll send the proposed amendments after they've been through quality assurance.

What do I do now? I can't seem to get through to them.

@Jimmyneutronsforehead I don't have her expertise but I would suggest iPSEA template letter 8

https://www.ipsea.org.uk/letter-to-la-when-it-has-not-completed-an-annual-review

Sorry they are being so difficult @Jimmyneutronsforehead

How is everyone this week? Unfortunately there was another series of incidents last Friday involving the same girls who spread that awful rumour about dd at school. They are targeting her and trying to intimidate her at school and also on the train home. I am furious about the whole thing as it’s ruining what could work out to be a positive school experience for her. She’s not made it in at all this week so far because she’s so worried about it all 🙁

oh @Leafywool how awful.

My God @Leafywool poor DD. No wonder you are furious. Why do kids need to act like that. I am so sorry they are getting away with it. And after DD had been brave enough to get the train. 💐 I hope you are going to get a response from school.

Thanks both. I am just so sad for her. She’s so upset and keeps telling me she’s worked so hard to access education which is such a basic thing and now these bullies are taking it away from her. She’s literally done nothing to these kids. She didn’t even know they existed until the whole knife/search incident happened!

And then you get people wondering why there is an uptick in school refusal .
I am so sorry @Leafywool , that sucks for both you and DD. Have the school said anything?

So there’s an ongoing investigation into the original incident which we made an official complaint about. But it’s more about how they didn’t follow their own policies and consider DD’s needs re the whole searching her bag situation. That concludes this week and we will have a meeting next week to go through the findings. I sent an email on Friday afternoon when dd came home (she had very helpfully written down everything that had happened throughout the day in her notes app on her phone), and received a response from the head of KS3 who we’ve already been in conversation with about everything that’s been going on saying he will investigate and come back to us. I’ve not heard back from him yet so just emailed again to chase up. I did speak to the assistant head who is conducting the investigation into our complaint yesterday and he mentioned the head of KS3 is on with it and will be in touch.

Dd wants to go back tomorrow so I just need some sort of information/reassurance from school to help ease her worries. The problem is the main protagonist in the group gets the same train as dd and twice now has come and sat next to her on the way home and tried to intimidate her. I’ve obviously offered to drive her there and back any time she wants, but dd likes being independent and getting the train and also rightfully says why should she have to change her routine to avoid this group.

She said she feels like she’s dealing with all the consequences and suffering because of their actions and nothing seems to be happening to them. I don’t realistically know what to expect from school. I know they can’t tell us the outcome of if the other students will face any punishment so it’s a difficult one.

She sounds very brave and insightful @Leafywool. Just wish she didn't have to be. And all that energy and brain space taken up which could be going on her learning.

Well, I think your DD is incredibly brave and should be very proud of herself.

@Jimmyneutronsforehead, I agree with @Piony. Send that letter. If you have only been emailing the caseworker and you haven’t already emailed the DCS and MO, do that. You may not get a reply from them, but it is still worth doing as at this stage it is just as much about building a paper trail. If that doesn’t work, come back for the next steps.

Ob @Leafywool, that is dreadful to read. I’m so sorry. I hope the school deals with the bullying. They can’t tell you what consequences others have, but they can tell you how they intend to keep DD safe (physically and psychologically).

Thank you all. I'm going to email tonight. I have had an extremely busy day today. You know when you make plans and then nothing goes to plan, well I'd planned to sit down with my laptop and just get this sorted ASAP and then small but inconvenient priorities kept popping up. School rang, they need an inhaler, DS doesn't get inhalers routinely anymore as they've stepped down his asthma plan, so then I had to call the doctors, but it's not a receptionist, it's AI and DSs surname is Eastern European, so had to fight that, then it kept thinking I was trying to book an asthma review appointment, but I wasn't because we've just had one, then my nan needed help getting something from the top shelf because she's short, but we're the same height so I don't know what good she thought I could do, so in the process managed to knock everything else out of the cupboard, but then the hospital rang and want to get me in for a pre-op for my upcoming bariatric surgery, which is exciting news, but unexpected phone call lead to not being able to speak properly, then about half an hour of not being able to do anything except breathe manually and then before I knew it it was time to set off for school and I've left my poor little nan picking up super noodles and cup a soups up off the floor.

So... from 7pm my phone will be OFF, the bedroom door will be locked and I will be burning holes in my keyboard to those suggested.

Thanks all, she has said she’s going back tomorrow but she’s just told me she’s so scared in case she bumps into these girls in the corridors. She said on Friday she was so on edge and checking everywhere she walked constantly. I don’t know what to even say to her - I don’t want these girls to have the satisfaction of them knowing they are upsetting dd and thinking they have won, but it’s very easy for me to say that when it’s very different if you’re a 12 year old dealing with it all on your own.

School did get back to me and said they have investigated what has happened and spoken to all the kids involved, and in one case (I assume the main protagonist) they have had their parents called in and spoken to. And the whole group has been firmly warned to stop. They have also made sure all duty team members are aware so they can prevent any further issues happening in between classes and at breaks. Thankfully she has no classes with any of these girls. They still want to speak to dd to make sure they have all the details from her so hopefully that will give them a chance to reassure her too.

I am sure you understand how absolutely frustrated I am that this is happening on top of trying to navigate EBSA/a new school/EHCP stuff/other medical issues she’s having at the minute. I feel totally frazzled and just plain sad. I have no idea how it will go with her in the morning.

@Jimmyneutronsforehead Gosh that is a day you’ve had!! The AI receptionist thing sounds ridiculous 😖 I hope you manage to get sorted with what you need to do but also hopefully get some rest too.