EBSA support thread 2

[Luddite26]

Hopefully this links to Brambley Hedges EBSA support thread.
A community to discuss the processes and support each other when children are experiencing Emotionally Based School Avoidance.

@Jimmyneutronsforehead She didn’t manage to go in at all unfortunately. She has happily given the dog a bath and is now playing Sims after a long nap. No idea if we will manage to get her in tomorrow, but maybe after having a rest today she might be up for it.

Such a rollercoaster. I'm sorry to hear your update @Leafywool and that @Jimmyneutronsforehead it sounds like DS is in distress at drop off. On transport you're currently comparing a known with an unknown which is not really a fair "fight". There is something to be said for giving it a go. Regular in person contact with school has value especially in the early days, but doesn't need to be 10x per week.

@Leafywool I don't know if this is specific to our LA so maybe not much help but here reduced timetables can only be agreed for 6 weeks at a time. DS had one for over a year so it was a series of multiple 6 week arrangements. Obviously not Plan A and I think there is a good case that if they need a PT timetable long term then they are in a settings that is not meeting their needs. For DS he was Y10/11 and we all agreed the setting could not meet need, but he was in no state to cope with another move and staying there through GCSE years with a reduced timetable was the best option. But your DD is younger so would it be the right thing to reduce timetable long term? There's an argument that if she is too distressed to do FT by Christmas maybe the setting is not able to meet her needs, and her time this year would be better used getting her into a more suitable setting. (I know, I know)

I wonder if school SEN team could help supply any structured resources to help autistic students identify what the problems are. We once (in desperation) wrote DS a big questionnaire to help elucidate what might help. One bit I remember was 15 possible problems he might have with one of his subjects. We asked him to rank the most bothersome of our ideas and also identify which ones were not a problem at all. The options were sentence starters too so we got some more insights from him talking round the list.

We included some mentions of his special interest, some silly ones to keep it light, some things he would be too polite to say such I don't understand Mr S's accent. We did similar across different aspects of the school day to get an overall picture. Open questions would have been better for most students but he really struggles with pragmatics.

Another useful thing it brought out was where something was a problem, but only a small one, sometimes he'd rather live with it than deal with another change. This was valuable insight which moved some things from being negatives outside of his control - very dysregulating - to negatives he was choosing to keep in a sense and had a sense of ownership over which made them slightly more tolerable.

What if didn't do was address how hard it is sometimes for a child or YP to identify what is so distressing.

Not sure if that is much help when the meeting is tomorrow @Leafywool . For DS I think I'd be asking about access to the RP and quiet time through the school day but appreciate DD will want to be with her friends. Is it possible she is just not up to being "on" all day including breaks and lunches? But breaks and lunches are critical for her settling in so what else can give? Is there another subject that could be dropped for her to have some downtime without missing her social time? See if there are any RP outreach groups or things she could be invited to there without being a fully paid up member. She is showing so much grit going back but she needs an environment she can cope with or the wheels will come off again.

Thank you @Piony that is enormously helpful so appreciate you taking the time to write it all out!

We absolutely know the setting can’t meet her need, which is definitely part of the issue. We put our preference for the RP at the same school but the LA won’t agree to it so placed her in mainstream. The caseworker sent it back to panel and they then send back lots of things for the caseworker to ‘investigate’ such as if dd is ready to move from MNHES back into mainstream school (even though they know the relationship broke down with MNHES, which we were given no support with from anyone so she was pretty much forced into going to the named school regardless), if the school is even the right setting for her (despite the LA recommending it as an option) because they are under the impression her primary need is different to what it is. What she needs is very clearly laid out in the EP report so they are just bullshitting their way through it basically. We have appealed of course but god knows how long that will take so we’re working with what we’ve got for now. She desperately wants to be there and she genuinely does like the school and enjoys it. She is loving going to most classes and learning again - she’s definitely got her spark back in that regard. The students behaviour is night and day difference from her old school, and even though it’s the biggest school in our district as there’s 500 more students, it feels much more manageable to her as it’s spread out across lots of smaller buildings rather than a big new build echoey box.

The questionnaire thing sounds interesting. She is pretty good at knowing what she can and can’t cope with and articulating that - I think we are very lucky in that respect. But it’s a whole host of things which I don’t think can be easily ironed out to meet her needs. Being ‘on’ all the time is definitely one of the main factors. She is so worn out by a full day of school, so to then have to do it again x5 is way too much for her. But then we also have the issue of her not wanting any of her friends to know she’s autistic and gets extra support, so if she’s on a reduced timetable or not attending some lessons I have no idea how that will work from her perspective. And again, how will that work if by some miracle she does get granted a place in the RP? It’s all so complicated and I’m not sure what the answer is.

Also I was right and she does want to go in tomorrow after a big rest today. She said it’s a shame she can do every other day as it would work so well for her 😄

@Leafywool have you requested an expedited hearing?

Rather than a shorter school day, or as well as, would a down day on a Wednesday work for DD? It is harder to arrange in mainstream, especially a mid year start, but can be made to work with effort on the school’s part.

@2x4greenbrick I haven’t! I didn’t even know that was a thing to be honest 😮

The meeting went really well. I know the incident that happened wasn’t handled particularly well, but outside of that I will say every interaction I’ve had with staff at the school has been great. They all seem genuinely caring and understanding. There’s a lot we covered so too much to write out here, but we are happy with the support they can provide and the approach they are going to take with dd.

I didn’t realise but our request for dd to have the RP named has gone back to panel again today so we should hear about that shortly. I am not expecting it to go in our favour but we will see. It is part of our appeal regardless. The Sendco does think it would be beneficial for dd to have access as she could go there any time she needs it. He said some kids are in there constantly and others are sporadic, but it’s always there in case they need it.

But generally we have a plan and are going to meet every 2 weeks to discuss progress and if anything needs to change. Dd has gone in this morning and messaged to say her maths teacher said if she keeps working at the level she is then she will be able to move up a set, so she is very happy with that!

Hope everyone is ok. We are definitely ready for a week off.