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Original poster

Pissed off about the tooth fairy and whats expected

118 replies

Woodward23 · 22/06/2023 09:44

I need to vent here! Should i have given my daughter her request ?

So my 9 and half year old lost a tooth yesterday. She put it under her pillow last night along with this huge letter she wrote asking instead of £1(which is what she gets) she wants £5 because the tooth fairy needs to get rid of the queen heads money to make space for the Kings head money .(thought that bit was initative!)

Along with where do you come from, are you a boy or girl,how much money do you give other kids , how old are you 🤔

We didn't write a reply to the letter I told her last night I wouldn't expect a reply because the tooth fairy is very busy and i don't think they could carry a pen. Nor did I give her £5! She got £1 and dad took the tooth away

So shes woken this morning not happy she didn't get a reply and really ungrateful that she even got a £1 she was in a sulk the whole way to school . Its pissed me right off

OP posts:

WhyDoesItAlways · 22/06/2023 09:50

Think she just needs to be told that gifts are given at the givers discretion and that she needs to be grateful for whatever she is given, no matter the value.

Also, that the tooth fairy does this out of kindness for nothing in return and therefore your daughter should be extra grateful.

If she still writes a Santa letter I can kind of see why she would think it's ok to make requests of the tooth fairy so just treat it as a teachable moment that her request was rude.

ErrolTheDragon · 22/06/2023 09:55

WhyDoesItAlways · 22/06/2023 09:50

Think she just needs to be told that gifts are given at the givers discretion and that she needs to be grateful for whatever she is given, no matter the value.

Also, that the tooth fairy does this out of kindness for nothing in return and therefore your daughter should be extra grateful.

If she still writes a Santa letter I can kind of see why she would think it's ok to make requests of the tooth fairy so just treat it as a teachable moment that her request was rude.

Good advice.

No way does your DD actually believe in the tooth fairy, she was trying it on. Of course you were right not to cough up a fiver!

Beamur · 22/06/2023 09:55

I think this is actually pretty funny. Kudos to your DD for thinking outside the box but your response is spot on. This is a brilliant life lesson perfectly delivered.
You can't game the tooth fairy system.
My DD refused to leave her tooth because she wanted to keep it.
Tooth fairy did leave her a note. It said 'no tooth = no money. Remember to brush your new teeth'

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PuttingDownRoots · 22/06/2023 09:56

I would have left 5p!

mindutopia · 22/06/2023 09:56

Agree with making it a teachable moment. I think most 9 year olds probably don't still believe in the tooth fairy (maybe she doesn't? and because the request is directed at you, that's why it's come across this way), but I do think it's an age when it's quite natural to be getting grabby, if not checked. I have a 10 year old, and she definitely has friends who have all sorts of things she would like (iphones, etc.) that I am no way in hell prepared to give her. They can be a bit stroppy and hormonal as a result. So a good reason for a sensible conversation about it later when she is calmer.

To answer your questions, our tooth fairy has always given £2, except for during lockdown, when the tooth fairy had limited cash to hand on short notice and had to leave a £5 note. 😂As a child, I used to get £10-20 notes per tooth though, which is fucking ridiculous, but my parents were indulgent with poor boundaries and did a lot of overcompensating with money for their other parenting shortcomings. 🙄 I think £1 is perfectly fine.

2PintsOfCidernaBagofCrisps · 22/06/2023 09:58

Sounds like time for the tooth fairy to end. "Tooth fairy only comes to kids who are grateful".

For mine, I had to end it when they started yanking teeth out at the first sign of a wobble. "Tooth fairy only comes for children with naturally fallen-out teeth. Ripping them from your head doesn't count" 😂

Swg · 22/06/2023 09:58

This is where you get your pound in pennies to use up the queens head money! I would have replied to the letter though.

FlounderingFruitcake · 22/06/2023 09:59

Surely at 9 she doesn’t actually believe in the tooth fairy and she’s just trying to see how far she can push you into keeping it going? Honestly I would just have a laugh about it, say nice try, and that she’s clearly too old for the whole thing now!

AHelpfulHand · 22/06/2023 09:59

I’m really shocked your 9 year old believes in the tooth fairy!

Original poster

Woodward23 · 22/06/2023 10:00

ErrolTheDragon · 22/06/2023 09:55

Good advice.

No way does your DD actually believe in the tooth fairy, she was trying it on. Of course you were right not to cough up a fiver!

Show quote history

@ErrolTheDragon but was i right to refuse to reply to the letter I just think if I did it digs in deeper.

OP posts:

FlounderingFruitcake · 22/06/2023 10:02

Oh and even my 6YO doesn’t believe as she has lost all the teeth so far at really inconvenient times and always on holiday e.g. at the airport about to board a long haul night flight, in the car in the eurotunnel so I just let her choose a toy at the shop for the first one and we’ve done nothing for the subsequent ones.

HighEndGrifters · 22/06/2023 10:02

Chancing her arm.

First tooth £5 after that £1

RudsyFarmer · 22/06/2023 10:02

You’re better than me. My partner and I completely forgot to exchange the tooth for money last night and do of course this morning had to be very quick on our feet explanation wise.

The pressure on parents to uphold the magic is immense among busy modern lives. I don’t think I could cope with a latter and a request for more cash too. I think it would tip me over the edge

toelady · 22/06/2023 10:03

We haven't got there yet but will be happening soon I'd say. We will do between £1 - £2 I'd say depending on the quality of the tooth, size and how clean it is.

I'm always insisting that the tooth fairy doesn't leave money for rotten, dirty or yellow teeth so that's why we have to make sure we are brushing twice a day.

newtb · 22/06/2023 10:03

I used to give £1, DD is 25, and I used to get 6d (2.5p)

Original poster

Woodward23 · 22/06/2023 10:05

AHelpfulHand · 22/06/2023 09:59

I’m really shocked your 9 year old believes in the tooth fairy!

I know! But unfortunately she still does
Shes asked me to record it next time she looses one , I have already told no!

OP posts:

toomuchlaundry · 22/06/2023 10:06

The tooth fairy was always delayed by various things in this house (rubbish parents!) DS was very excited to get a euro when he lost a tooth in France.

MarigoldGlove · 22/06/2023 10:07

Either she doesn't believe in the Tooth Fairy and she's trying to get £4 or she does believe in the Tooth Fairy and she's trying to manipulate the Tooth Fairy and get more time and more money than she should.

If the Tooth Fairy had to reply to long letters then she wouldn't get round all of the children. So she doesn't. Nor does she pay five times the value of the tooth.

You are never doing someone a favour by relieving them of their money whether it's got the current monarch on or not.

CavalierApproach · 22/06/2023 10:10

I would have thought this was funny and would probably have left a jokey ‘reply’ alongside our normal amount of money and maintained a good mood the next day (even if dd sulked).

I don’t think being pissed off and telling her it was rude is a necessary or reasonable response. It sets the tone for conflict when you could handle it with a bit of grace. Surely tooth fairy boundary-pushing is an opportunity for light-heartedness and connection, if anything is. She’s nine — you have to meet them where they are.

And it can still be a lesson in ‘nope, you don’t always get what you want’ without anyone having to be made to feel bad about it.

CavalierApproach · 22/06/2023 10:12

PS I’m not saying you told her it was rude, btw, I was referring to a suggestion from a pp

MrsMcisaCt · 22/06/2023 10:16

I would guess that she doesn't really believe in the tooth fairy, but knows that you think she does, so was trying it on! Bless her, I think she sounds a real character and it would have made me laugh.

FlounderingFruitcake · 22/06/2023 10:19

Woodward23 · 22/06/2023 10:05

I know! But unfortunately she still does
Shes asked me to record it next time she looses one , I have already told no!

Show quote history

Are you really sure? Seems more likely she’s going along with it for the money! I mean what’s the motivation to say she doesn’t believe especially if she thinks there’s a chance of getting £5.

Kids do this with Santa too, my niece was told before going to secondary as they were worried other kids would find out and tease. She admitted she figured it out years ago but because grown ups don’t get stockings she thought they were conditional on pretending to believe 😂

Goldbar · 22/06/2023 10:33

I remember getting £1 per tooth. Many, many years ago.

I'm somewhat on your DD's side although she was clearly chancing it a bit with £5.

Tooth fairy needs to keep up with inflation. I'd say £2 or £3 is more reasonable nowadays if you can afford it.

peachicecream · 22/06/2023 10:41

Woodward23 · 22/06/2023 10:00

@ErrolTheDragon but was i right to refuse to reply to the letter I just think if I did it digs in deeper.

Show quote history

I wouldn't have replied to it. The tooth fairy is a mystical being - how do you know it even speaks the same language or can read the letter? You can't just write to it and make requests, that's not how it works.

It's not a bad lesson for your daughter to learn tbh, she's not the centre of the world and can't just write to the tooth fairy on a whim and expect something in return!

Okshacky · 22/06/2023 10:44

I’d have gone with 5p too.

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