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Original poster

Would you be happy with a male masseur?

107 replies

MrsPotterings · 01/03/2023 12:04

DH has recently told me he doesn't mind if I have a male or female masseur/masseuse. I was really surprised by this and am not sure I would want a male masseur. Would you be happy with one?

OP posts:
slowsnow · 01/03/2023 13:26

Me and my ex went and got a massage n he felt weird with a guy massaging him

thymee · 01/03/2023 13:26

SlippinKimmy · 01/03/2023 12:45

I used to be happy either way until I was sexually assaulted by a male masseur (unmistakably, not part of the massage). Now I will only have a female masseur otherwise I can’t relax. A shame, but it’s destroyed my trust.

I have also experienced this and will now only have a female.

Seems more common than we'd like to think.

buttercupboots · 01/03/2023 13:26

I had a male masseuse at a spa and didn't blink an eye. Would you mind if your DH had a female masseuse? Just wondering what's surprising about him not minding, they are a professional providing a service 🤷🏻‍♀️

PoloFruit · 01/03/2023 13:26

I got sexually assaulted when I was 19 by a male massage therapist so no i would not.
Put me off massages from any sex for lots of years but on the very rare occasions I do get one now, it's only with a woman.

Magicpaintbrush · 01/03/2023 13:27

I'm afraid I actually know somebody who was sexually assaulted by a male masseur and was left really scarred by the experience. So no. I wouldn't ever want a massage from a male masseur, never.

kittykarate · 01/03/2023 13:29

I felt very uncomfortable with one that seemed to voyage too far down my back

Just to add to this - I said "No thanks" when he voyaged low, and then he kept returning to the buttocks. So either he was a shit masseur who didn't care for his clients or a creeper. I've never had a female masseur ignore me.

thymee · 01/03/2023 13:32

kittykarate · 01/03/2023 13:29

I felt very uncomfortable with one that seemed to voyage too far down my back

Just to add to this - I said "No thanks" when he voyaged low, and then he kept returning to the buttocks. So either he was a shit masseur who didn't care for his clients or a creeper. I've never had a female masseur ignore me.

Same experience here.

He was also calling me 'princess' and it was all kinds of inappropriate.

He's since gone to prison as he did the same or worse to more women and they came forward (I was too shaken by it).

I'm generally very open minded and before this experience it wouldn't have occured to me to bat an eyelid about whether I had a male or female masseur. Now it's made me very careful and I always request a female in advance.

Original poster
MrsPotterings · 01/03/2023 13:37

Oh god, all these stories of male masseurs with wandering hands are definitely putting me off!

OP posts:
UseOfWeapons · 01/03/2023 13:38

I had an excellent massage from a male masseuse. If they are good at their job, it wouldn't be a problem, any more than for a male doctor.
It's about what you're comfortable with.

SallyWD · 01/03/2023 13:42

I've had one before. It was fine. Very professional.

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 01/03/2023 13:42

MrsPotterings · 01/03/2023 13:37

Oh god, all these stories of male masseurs with wandering hands are definitely putting me off!

If you’re really set on a male masseuse get a recommendation or google them for reviews.

KevinsChilli · 01/03/2023 13:44

Nah definitely female only - nothing like a male doctor like a PP said, they aren't a medical professional.

LlynTegid · 01/03/2023 13:45

I wouldn't be, regardless of the opinion of anyone else.

FwentyFree · 01/03/2023 13:45

I have had quite a few massages of different kinds and strongly prefer a male therapist as I feel their larger hands and significantly greater strength makes for a much more effective treatment.

Original poster
MrsPotterings · 01/03/2023 13:50

FwentyFree Is this to treat a problem with your back?

OP posts:
CrystalCoco · 01/03/2023 13:59

I had one of the best Thai massages ever from a lady-boy massage therapist, she was meant to be doing DH's massage but he refused so I 'took one for the team' and he missed out - although he didn't miss out really did he cos his head wouldn't have been enjoying it.

Original poster
MrsPotterings · 01/03/2023 14:01

CrystalCoco It's a win win!

OP posts:
FwentyFree · 01/03/2023 14:04

@MrsPotterings

Occasionally I have them just for relaxation, but I mainly have them to address back pain and stiffness caused by injuries I incurred decades ago. Deep massage has been the most effective way to treat the pain I get when I get “knotted up” around the places that were injured and are now permanently asymmetrical. Literally nothing else helps, including drugs, physical therapy, stretching, etc.

I would add that I get all my massages at a day spa that I’ve gone to for decades. They are very picky about everyone they employ, and most therapists stay for years, if not decades, and I trust they would be extremely responsive to any complaints about their therapists. So in that context, I feel very safe and can then choose my therapist solely on the basis of how my body feels after treatment. I would never trust a male massage therapist I just found online, for example.

SugarRushCrush · 01/03/2023 14:05

I had a male masseuse once as there were no female ones available and we both felt as anxious as each other. He gave me one of the best (soft) massages I've ever had and was extremely professional. I felt awful afterwards for doubting that he would be anything but professional. I guess it's similar to male Gynaecologists, they've gone into a certain field that has female customers, they're obviously interested in the profession.

TheChosenTwo · 01/03/2023 14:10

What on Earth does your dhs opinion on this matter?
I’d tell my dh to fuck off if he expressed the opinion that he didn’t want to have a massage by a man.
I’ve had massages by both men and women and also have a sports massage once a month - this one is always a man, he’s great and really gets deep into the knots and I feel amazing when I leave (and a little achy but overall brilliant).

xxxSophiex · 01/03/2023 14:10

Literally couldn't care less whether I have a male or female masseur.

Question for those who wouldn't want a man - do you specify this when booking? I don't think I'm generally informed in advance whether it will be a male or female. Or do you refuse the massage if it is a man?

PoloFruit · 01/03/2023 14:13

xxxSophiex · 01/03/2023 14:10

Literally couldn't care less whether I have a male or female masseur.

Question for those who wouldn't want a man - do you specify this when booking? I don't think I'm generally informed in advance whether it will be a male or female. Or do you refuse the massage if it is a man?

When I ring up to book I check it's with a woman and wouldn't book if it was only a man available.

xxxSophiex · 01/03/2023 14:15

PoloFruit · 01/03/2023 14:13

When I ring up to book I check it's with a woman and wouldn't book if it was only a man available.

Show quote history

Thanks, I suppose that makes sense if you have a preference. Got to be honest that it has never crossed my mind - in the same way that I wouldn't specify I wanted a female hairdresser or dentist.

SirChenjins · 01/03/2023 14:21

xxxSophiex · 01/03/2023 14:10

Literally couldn't care less whether I have a male or female masseur.

Question for those who wouldn't want a man - do you specify this when booking? I don't think I'm generally informed in advance whether it will be a male or female. Or do you refuse the massage if it is a man?

Absolutely I would check - I'd definitely only want a female (and not someone born male). I'm paying for the service so will have what I feel comfortable with.

Johnisafckface · 01/03/2023 14:22

I hate massages but if I had to have one I'd prefer a male as I like deep massages.