Sick to death of this BLOODY cat, please help.

[Thiscatwillbethedeathofme]

How on earth do you discourage a cat from doing something?

This bloody thing is only a few months old and he's absolutely launching himself on my desk, on my chair, growling at me, attacking my hand while I use my mouse, attacking my wrists while I type, stealing my lunch/snacks and full on growling/spitting/hissing at me whilst doing it. He will run from one end of the room and launch himself onto the side of my desk chair, knocks over my coffee cup, has eaten my desk plant, knocks over my filing tray.. the list is endless. He does this to no one else, there are 5 of us in the office and it's just me.

I swapped desks just to get some work done and then he's all calm, sitting in his corner and not on my desk, nor near me. Then the second I moved back to my own, he's back again doing all of the above!

I feel completely pathetic and, quite frankly, bullied! What can I do to get him to leave me the hell alone?

Is it your cat?

This is why I’d never get a cat!!

An office cat?! Why is there a cat in your office? And why is it still there with this behaviour? I'm confused.

Put it outside

Who does the cat belong to? It sounds like an office isn't appropriate for it. If it belongs to a colleague you need to complain and have it removed. It it's yours, well, what are you thinking?!

I work in my family business, the main office is at my mum's house and all my colleagues work from there. There's an "office space" which is a giant room attached to the main house but there's absolutely no way of keeping the cats out, people are always in/out and part of it is attached to my mum's living spaces, where the cats live. There are 3 cats on-site as well as 1 dog and none of them cause us any issues whatsoever, apart from this new little bastard!

Get another cat, he wants a pal.

It's too small at this point, need to wait another 2 weeks for some other vaccine and then it can roam be thrown outside.

There are 2 others here who he's already managed to piss off, they keep well clear of him.

He/she is probably bored.

Is it a Bengal?

Several things are going on.

Hes using your hand as a toy because somebody is choosing to play with him using hands/feet. Only use toys on a stick or balls so he doesn't associate playing directly with you.

If he's stealing food is he being fed enough or regularly? Kittens need specialist food and also several small meals throughout the day.

He needs to be played with, then a small meal. This mirrors the wild of hunt, kill, eat, sleep and makes a very contented kitty indeed.

Can you continue to stay moved? There is obviously something going on but it might be so nuanced it will be difficult to tell. Eg, your specific hands movements with the light setting are throwing off different shadows that hes finding unsettling. Do you type more compared to your colleagues?

Quite simply, kittens are dicks. It'll calm down eventually but you need to be firm and remove it every time it attacks you.
I did not enjoy this phase of owning a kitten at all.

Cats can be bastards as teenagers, particularly the clever and big personality ones. Once they grow out of this stage they then make gorgeous companions, but this stage is hell on toast.

Lots of things to do, like cardboard boxes to climb in and out of, toys, things to climb so you aren't the most interesting toy in the room. I've just lost my fantastic 18 year old boy, personality the size of a house and he was a total sod as a teenager. I only got him to stop hammering on my closed bedroom door and howling to be allowed to bite me and jump all over me all night by putting a hoover on sentry in the hallway with the cable under the door, so if he hammered at the door I could lean over from my bed and turn the hoover on. I did that about twice before a hoover there as a sentry guard was enough for him to know to not bash the door. About six months on he grew out of it and was in bed with me and fast asleep all night.

Sounds bored. Get a bunch of cat toys and pop them to one side of you and just keep throwing them for him/her to investigate, should wear it out and then it may snuggle up for a snooze!

Get a cat tree. Lots of cats feel insecure if they have to spend all their time near the floor. Perhaps that's why he's climbing onto furniture and jumping. He'll settle down once he's been neutered. Cats do get bored and need climbing and play opportunities.

They are stupid, boring cats. You however are brill! An adventure desk, prey mice and fingers, snacks and hunting you're a young cats dream!

If he's a kitten he wants to play. Jackson galaxy had this yesterday on My cat from hell. He played with it for 5 minutes to tire it, created an assault course with places to climb and hide. Then treats and a cuddly blanket for a nap. Outdoor also if possible and in a couple of weeks he had a normal cat.

To answer a bunch of questions:

• Someone is definitely using hands to play with him, not sure how I can stop it when there's about 10-12 different people on the property on a daily basis.
• Yep being fed regularly, he's been to the vet a few times just for general check ups and all advice is being followed. He was found in a field, so the vet said he could just be super protective over food. Which is fine but my tuna salad sandwich is not his to protect.
• Everyone plays with hi, he's got plenty of play time on a daily basis.
• Can't move permanently because there are no other desks, I just went and sat in a corner on a very small table cause I couldn't take it anymore.
• Huge room and loads of furniture and boxes for him to play with.

It's a kitten, not a grown cat! It's just playing, that's what they do, it's the toddler phase. They grow out of it.

Don't forget, I also have a beautiful juicy neck that makes for good aiming practice 😭The other two cats never did any of this, they were chill in comparison!

We need a pic of this terrible tiger baby cat!

It's a kitten.. and kittens are genuinely dicks! Sorry OP!

(Can we have a picture of the little dick head?)

I think the cat likes you, OP 😂

Here's the little spawn of evil. Notice the remnants of my lovely plant all around his claws of doom. I put hair bands on his ears as a repercussion. Figured I'd shame him into submission. It didnt work.

Oh he’s so cute 😂