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Original poster

Sick to death of this BLOODY cat, please help.

137 replies

Thiscatwillbethedeathofme · 31/10/2022 13:03

How on earth do you discourage a cat from doing something?

This bloody thing is only a few months old and he's absolutely launching himself on my desk, on my chair, growling at me, attacking my hand while I use my mouse, attacking my wrists while I type, stealing my lunch/snacks and full on growling/spitting/hissing at me whilst doing it. He will run from one end of the room and launch himself onto the side of my desk chair, knocks over my coffee cup, has eaten my desk plant, knocks over my filing tray.. the list is endless. He does this to no one else, there are 5 of us in the office and it's just me.

I swapped desks just to get some work done and then he's all calm, sitting in his corner and not on my desk, nor near me. Then the second I moved back to my own, he's back again doing all of the above!

I feel completely pathetic and, quite frankly, bullied! What can I do to get him to leave me the hell alone?

OP posts:
Original poster
Thiscatwillbethedeathofme · 31/10/2022 13:33

greeneyessparksfly · 31/10/2022 13:30

Oh he’s so cute 😂

No he's NOT! 😡

OP posts:
ClaudineClare · 31/10/2022 13:33

I think deep down you like him a tiny bit.

Pixiedust1234 · 31/10/2022 13:35

What the hell OP??? Do you seriously know nothing about cats? Since when are humans allowed tuna in the vicinity of a Supreme Master?

He was found in a field, so the vet said he could just be super protective over food. Which is fine but my tuna salad sandwich is not his to protect.

(I know of two rescues that were found skinny, both had problems regarding food and reacted badly if food was removed from them. Took a couple of years of patience and trust before they got over the "trauma" of literal starvation).

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Cats
AllThingsServeTheBeam · 31/10/2022 13:36

Thiscatwillbethedeathofme · 31/10/2022 13:28

Here's the little spawn of evil. Notice the remnants of my lovely plant all around his claws of doom. I put hair bands on his ears as a repercussion. Figured I'd shame him into submission. It didnt work.

Oh my life look at him!!!

Chikapu · 31/10/2022 13:36

He knows you hate him and wants to terrorise you into submission, you will love him!

HelloTreacle9 · 31/10/2022 13:36

My 5mo kitten is also a total bellend when anywhere near my desk/hands/legs, it's often impossible to work. Taking a five min break every hour or so to play so they can run and chase and tire themselves out is the only way to deal with the dickishness and biting. I got one of those cheap laser pointers and it is brilliant.

Chikapu · 31/10/2022 13:37

He's adorable btw.

greeneyessparksfly · 31/10/2022 13:38

Sorry OP, it was his little face. On a serious note it’s now fun being attacked all the time. A friend went to her vet about her cat doing this and they recommended getting a little water spray bottle and using it every time the behaviour wasn’t wanted.. but to then reinforce positive play at other times with toys etc. some might think that harsh but she said they soon get the idea

SquirrelSoShiny · 31/10/2022 13:38

Water spray all the way!

Omgwhatthehell · 31/10/2022 13:39

Oh OP he is so cute! (Sorry)
@nilsmousehammer you are an evil genius. The hoover sentry has made me lol.

Original poster
Thiscatwillbethedeathofme · 31/10/2022 13:39

I liked him when he fell asleep in my arms, when he chose my desk to doze on, when I was the only person he didn't hiss at, when I was the person he ran to when the dog scared him. Then, he decided to stick his entire claw in my biscuit and drag it towards his open mouth whilst growling (you didn't read that wrong, he doesn't just hiss, he growls as well) at me. I took it back, so he jumped/clawed at my mouth. I think I'm still being punished for it...

OP posts:
1994girl · 31/10/2022 13:40

Thiscatwillbethedeathofme · 31/10/2022 13:03

How on earth do you discourage a cat from doing something?

This bloody thing is only a few months old and he's absolutely launching himself on my desk, on my chair, growling at me, attacking my hand while I use my mouse, attacking my wrists while I type, stealing my lunch/snacks and full on growling/spitting/hissing at me whilst doing it. He will run from one end of the room and launch himself onto the side of my desk chair, knocks over my coffee cup, has eaten my desk plant, knocks over my filing tray.. the list is endless. He does this to no one else, there are 5 of us in the office and it's just me.

I swapped desks just to get some work done and then he's all calm, sitting in his corner and not on my desk, nor near me. Then the second I moved back to my own, he's back again doing all of the above!

I feel completely pathetic and, quite frankly, bullied! What can I do to get him to leave me the hell alone?

You're the asshole, not the poor cat.

Pumpkinpatchlookinggood · 31/10/2022 13:40

Buy a small Kong. Fill it with tuna..

Original poster
Thiscatwillbethedeathofme · 31/10/2022 13:40

HelloTreacle9 · 31/10/2022 13:36

My 5mo kitten is also a total bellend when anywhere near my desk/hands/legs, it's often impossible to work. Taking a five min break every hour or so to play so they can run and chase and tire themselves out is the only way to deal with the dickishness and biting. I got one of those cheap laser pointers and it is brilliant.

Yep I've got a laser pointer, but I think he's too little stupid to react to it much as yet.

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 31/10/2022 13:41

Thiscatwillbethedeathofme · 31/10/2022 13:39

I liked him when he fell asleep in my arms, when he chose my desk to doze on, when I was the only person he didn't hiss at, when I was the person he ran to when the dog scared him. Then, he decided to stick his entire claw in my biscuit and drag it towards his open mouth whilst growling (you didn't read that wrong, he doesn't just hiss, he growls as well) at me. I took it back, so he jumped/clawed at my mouth. I think I'm still being punished for it...

Well you did take “his” biscuit

Original poster
Thiscatwillbethedeathofme · 31/10/2022 13:42

Water spray is a fab idea, although I am slightly cackling as I appear to be using all of the elements against him. I've been using my handheld fan to put him off jumping on my desk, the other day he came face to face with my lit candle and ran a mile, then the earth out of my plant spilt and he lost it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Thiscatwillbethedeathofme · 31/10/2022 13:43

Hoppinggreen · 31/10/2022 13:41

Well you did take “his” biscuit

Show quote history

I had to finish eating it in the locked bathroom.. he can get his own.

OP posts:
amylou8 · 31/10/2022 13:44

He's a kitten, the do this mad stuff. Like kids they do grow out of it eventually.

PeloFondo · 31/10/2022 13:44

Give him a YouTube video of birds or fish to watch

Chikapu · 31/10/2022 13:45

Please don't spray him with water, it's a cruel thing to do.

BobbyBobbyBobby · 31/10/2022 13:47

It will be because you smell of fish.

Strong body odours attract animals!

I’m joking!

Put cat nip discreetly around the others desks and the cat will go to them and not you.

onemoreforme · 31/10/2022 13:47

Oh I would so love an office cat. Even if they were a bastard.

Pixiedust1234 · 31/10/2022 13:49

Taking a five min break every hour or so to play so they can run and chase and tire themselves out is the only way to deal with the dickishness and biting.

Hmmm ....paid 5 minute breaks every hour to play with a kitty. Thats a pretty good perk actually. Try a crinkly foil ball, our cat adored those far more than a kitchen foil ball.

oakleaffy · 31/10/2022 13:50

Hell, OP, I was imagining a full sized Tom cat, not an itty bitty kitten that weighs a few grammes!
Try going “ PSSSSSSSHHHTTTTTTTTTT!!!” At him to scare him away.
We had a farm car once, a lethal ratter and biter ( Neutered male) I made mistake as child of using hands to play with him- Not a good idea.
Toys on strings are much better.
He looks very sweet.

7eleven · 31/10/2022 13:52

Sorry. No sympathy. He’s too cute and you should be honoured he has chosen you as his person.

I still remember the pain of my cat rock climbing up my BARE leg to come for a cuddle.

She also used to put her little paw up and into my plate to steal food.

She’s part bengal. The vet says she’s got ‘catitude’. She grew out of it at about 6 months. Yours will calm down when he can go outside.

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