Sick to death of this BLOODY cat, please help.

[Thiscatwillbethedeathofme]

How on earth do you discourage a cat from doing something?

This bloody thing is only a few months old and he's absolutely launching himself on my desk, on my chair, growling at me, attacking my hand while I use my mouse, attacking my wrists while I type, stealing my lunch/snacks and full on growling/spitting/hissing at me whilst doing it. He will run from one end of the room and launch himself onto the side of my desk chair, knocks over my coffee cup, has eaten my desk plant, knocks over my filing tray.. the list is endless. He does this to no one else, there are 5 of us in the office and it's just me.

I swapped desks just to get some work done and then he's all calm, sitting in his corner and not on my desk, nor near me. Then the second I moved back to my own, he's back again doing all of the above!

I feel completely pathetic and, quite frankly, bullied! What can I do to get him to leave me the hell alone?

Look at his choochie face! That little dote doesn't have a bad bone in his body. I think you need to buy him lots of toys and work overtime to make sure he gets played with 😁

Under no circumstances am I moving my desk! It's been moved about 6 times in the past couple of years as I've been trying to find the right "spot". It's now perfect. My back is to a wall, I can see every other desk clearly, the spot has room for my rug and my chest of drawers and I'm next to a giant plant. I'm within 1 metre of the coffee machine, facing 2 windows and another to my left and away from any annoying breezes. The little rat isn't going to take my favourite desk spot away from me!!!

Thank you for all of the suggestions, some of them I can do but most I can't as he's not my bloody cat demon. I'll suggest them though, as if it's all consistent then maybe he'll stop bullying me. I'm currently sitting at my wonderful desk waiting for the little bugger to appear, all sleepy-eyed looking like an angel until I breathe and he pounces for my neck. His name is Casper! My offerings were Voldemort, Malfoy and Satan but for some strange reason they didn't go down too well..

Truly hate cats 🤮

I'm sure they speak very highly of you too.

But terribly useful contribution anyway 10/10.

Ok..

Has the little bit of sweetness surfaced yet today? Casper is gorgeous - more photos please!

Grumpyoldperson must be relieved that it isn’t just them under siege from cats. Imagine TC and Casper as his apprentice and partner in crime, they would rule the world

Sooty I am on his side he is too cute

Another picture please!!

Many cats don't like citrus scents - try spraying you and desk with those - or have a draw full of cat treats or pompoms or cat nip toys to throw away from you and your desk - at least while you eat though eating else where would probably be even better idea.

He looks naughty!

He needs another kitten to play with. My local rescue will only rehome kittens in pairs.

He is adorable

Get him some catnip toys or a catnip plant/grass to chew on, he'll just zone out and sleep!

He is adorable and he obviously loves you 😽 you are the chosen one 🤣 more pictures please and less of you moaning 😁

This thread has gone quiet. I wonder if OP has fallen for his fluffy cute charms and can no longer update us with their anger and frustration since they are smitten. Either that or the kitten has got the OP whimpering in the corner surrounded by half eaten plants.

Casper must have perfected the pounce and neck bite.

Long live Casper.

Water pistol - I used that to stop the cat's worst behaviour when he was a kitten. I didn't let him see me spraying it, it was more like bad behaviour resulted in him getting sprayed. It worked.

Also being firm (every time) about what's not allowed and sticking to it eg biting hands/feet means you are put on the floor and play stops. Scratching furniture meant you were taken to your scratching post etc.

Casper must have perfected the pounce and neck bite.
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😱😱😱

I'm still here! Casper went for my boyfriend's jugular the other day, quite literally, so I've now got a can full of coins on my desk and am trying to "train" him not to be a massive twat. I also put on "cat calming" music which did put him to sleep, but I think it was a fluke...

I think we need more photos to judge whether the training is working.

FINE.

Oh Casper, you're beautiful!

If Michelangelo had been asked for angelic cats on the Sistine chapel they’d look like Casper.

If the White Walkers had cats, they'd look like Casper.

Oh Casper, you may be a raging arsehole but you are very beautiful 😍

Oh my, what a little angel. I bet you will miss him when he has had his vaccinations and he will be out all the time exploring. All Hail Casper!