Heed my warning (about crisps)

[Soubriquet]

I’m recovering from covid and I’ve been quite ill. I’ve actually gone an entire week without eating anything. I have fresubin to make up the calories but still.

Anhway, I really danced some pickled onion monster munch. So I got some. And I could taste it. Just.

So I had another. And another.

In the end, I had five packets. I felt good. I ate something!!

Then I realised my mistake. I have a sore now on my bottom left gum. Another one on the bottom right gum. And the skin has peeled away on my tongue.

Damn those crisps. Still have 4 left but I will eat those in moderation and scoff bags of cheesy balls instead.

They are the feet though. The monster thing was unfounded, there was a whole Twitter thing about it

Also, i have covid too and mostly have eaten things that can be heavily salted! Definitely wanted crisps but had to make due with salty pasta dishes.

I've never tried a Monster Munch... But am in my PJs too much effort to go out to grab some. I have however eaten 9 Kiwis in a row, it was that or Laxido

you lot are giving me warm fuzzy feelings - eating so many crisps you get mouth ulcers is definitely where I am

WTAF? I don't even like MM but that's blown my mind!!

Oh dear. OP you should never underestimate the power of crisps.

That power makes me eat salt and vinegar crisps until I have white lips.

Legend has it that if you can harness their power, you become some kind of goddess so I think it is only right to keep going with the quest and see.

@ReneBumsWombats I often find Golden Wonder crisps in Savers.
Go in for sensible stuff like shampoo and loo roll....come out with crisps.

I really like salt and vinegar French fries and just have to cope with my lips burning afterwards. I can't imagine eating more than one packet at a time though, I think my face might melt.

I do love Victoria plums that you get this time of year though but my guts HATE them.

I've really tried to pace myself this year and limited myself to 4 a day with only minor stomach gurgling and a touch of the runs but last year I ate loads and gave myself explosive diarrhoea, not once but on three separate occasions.

Everyone in my house is scared when I eat them now. They're also nervy if I eat stuffing or jackfruit but that's because both give me truly epic wind which can clear a room in seconds.

Thank you. Or rather, CURSE YOU!!!

Yes! I thought that too.

They are definitely claws!!

Walkers confirmed it after the Twitter rage about it

Confirmed. They're feet.

I ate a 6-pack of Mars bars once, back in the day when they were a decent size, not like the tiddly little things they are now.

I didn't enjoy the last three.

That is a relief about the monster feet. I have not been living a lie all these years.

Golden Womder have obviously upped their game since the 1980s, when their flavour density was crap. I moved on to Seabrooks then.

Oh god, me too! I always thought they were monsters' feet 😂

My addiction to salt and vinegar Pringles causes my lip skin to go white and peel off. But I work through the pain.

Just read the last couple of posts...and they are feet - I feel much better knowing that 😁

Ooh 😮 I had a huge bag of salted spirals, my mouth looked like a cats bottom I could hardly open it, it was so dry 🤭😬🤪

I’ve only just discovered prawn cocktail flavoured Quavers - so addictive!

Also bought some Kiwi Gold fruit recently, at first I thought they were regular Kiwis which had gone a bit soft but omg, they are a taste sensation! More flavour than regular ones but with soft yellow flesh and not many seeds. It’s a shame that they are a bit expensive as I’ve had to limit my self to just one past a week!

Oh how I long for those halcyon days when I could eat an entire six-pack of pickled onion Monster Munch or, if they were too tame, a six-pack of Walkers pickled onion crisps. But alas, my capacity for decreased with age, and I can now only manage two bags of Monster Munch or one large sized bag of s&v Twists/Twirls in a sitting.

During lockdown when online family quizzes were a thing, I did a 20 twenty question picture round based on crisps. Not claiming to be an expert, given current company on this thread, but I’ve been through the pain barrier with a few crisps in my time and feel I can speak intelligently on the subject. Everyone loved it if I do say so 😀

One for Xmas maybe instead of monopoly? I’m thinking blind taste tests…. Obviously this has the added bonus of needing to buy many varieties and flavours of crisps.

Ha ha yes I've made the corners of my mouth sore by eating a whole tub of Pringles and putting them in my mouth whole 😂

Thank your lucky stars you didn't crave the hot monster munch, after 5 packets of those you'd have a spicy bumhole as well!

I love crisps. I’d have them rather than a pudding any day.
Apart from Prawn Cocktail flavour. They are just evil…

Is there any other way to eat them?