What's the funniest thing you have ever read on MN?

[Noglassjustthebottleandastraw]

A few weeks ago there was a thread that was really funny. I literally couldn't move for laughing at one of the comments. Think it was something like "did you smash your tits on the keyboard and press send" most days since, this comment has popped into my mind and made me laugh so much.

So who ever posted that comment thanks so much 💐

What's the funniest thing you have ever read on MN?

I have to read this 50 Shades thread! Has anyone got a link?

Haven’t got time to RTFT until later but thought I’d throw in my two favourites in case they’ve not been mentioned -

Lady who had an unfortunate perm and as she came through the front door her husband said, “Fuck me, it’s Colonel Gadaffi”.

Bloke who came on and started an AMA thread, declaring himself an IT specialist who wanted to assist the women of MN. Predictably got a bit of a kicking, but the funniest comment was ‘Thank god you’re here - up until now I’d just been bashing my tits on the keyboard and hoping for the best’.

Both those still make me cry with laughter when I think of them. There are some brilliantly funny people on here.

Balonz

The korean lady in the garden was fab, it was before my time but that meant I got to read the whole thing in one sitting.

The lady who thought a builder had nicked her Jo Malone candle from the downstairs loo. More wtf than actually funny, but still...

Someone might have posted it as I’m only on page 2 but here it is: www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3178898-DH-embarrassed-by-my-sensitivity

It’s one of my favourites!

Anal sex at centerparcs is another. 😂

OMG, sorry OP, that’s literally the one you started with! Will shuffle off now and remember not to post when I’m tired, busy and a bit hungover 😬 (but thanks for starting the thread, I do love these!)

I was on a 'quiet carriage' on a train crying with laughter, people staring at me, at a thread that was about word slips, where you've said something incorrectly. I think one that really set me off was about a woman on conference call who'd said something very inappropriate by mistake, and I couldn't stop laughing for a good long while!

Forgot about the this one! 😂

My most recent snorf my brew over the keyboard was a thread about ghosts.

A poster said that her relative, when faced with childish behaviour from an unseen guest, would say, "Pack it the fuck in or I'll call the vicar".

Even now it makes me laugh uncontrollably.

The woman on the mad diet!

I’ve never heard anyone mention it on these types of threads so it might be a new one for some of you to enjoy!

www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/4279410-I-m-trying-a-really-odd-diet-and-hope-it-works?page=1

On the Sistine Chapel thread, a reply that I’m currently crying to….

There was a post on Facebook about a week or so ago on one of the local type sites from a very angry woman. She had a Ring doorbell and posted a clip of an older blonde woman and asked if anyone knew her. She was livid as the older woman had rocked up at her house, merrily posted a dead bat through her letter box and then strolled away. Cue lots of (understandable) outrage "is someone trying to give me rabies???"

Bat-posting woman was recognised. Bat-posting woman (let's call her Carol) commented on the thread. Apparently there's a woman down the street who works for the bat society who wanted to do some research on a bat that had died. Carol got the wrong house and posted a dead bat through the letterbox of this poor, unsuspecting woman.

It was all sorted out and lots of apologies but it was very very funny.....

I know this isn't MN but this thread reminded me of it.

‘‘Twas me
I knew I would be famous one day - didnt know it would be for being an idiot

I'm so glad the reversing car one turned out ok, I had my heart in my mouth reading it. Something similar happened to me in London with a driver who refused to reverse even though I had right of way and couldn't reverse because I'd just come out of a one way street and there was nowhere to go except back up it the wrong way. The whole street ended up getting involved (the house he was driving to was right there so the whole extended family came out) with cars backed up behind us both so neither of us could move even if we wanted to. Shouting ensued between the original driver and one behind him, which turned into a fight with about 15 men involved, another car came up a side road, clearly pre-arranged with one of the sides, and someone from that started attacking one of the other guys with a hammer. Eventually the police turned up and the attackers found out they did have enough space to reverse after all and fled. The police told me that they were caught. Since then, I've been really careful about stand offs in the road, even when I'm in the right, because you never know when someone is going to completely lose it.

Has anyone mentioned leaving washing on the line overnight?
It's wrong because it will get darked on, & spiders will rub their willies over it.

I laughed at that one aswell, way too funny

Love this 😂

Poo crumbs

and today this post
www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3178898-DH-embarrassed-by-my-sensitivity

I’ve been trying to find that IT guy thread, it’s bloody funny.

@SpidersAreShitheads please can you link to this as it sounds epic (as long as it’s not too outing)

Someone once said that Daniel Craig looks like a gnome who's lost his hat
It makes me laugh every time I think of it

I think this is the thread I might mean, lots of people chimed in with similar stories I was barely able to breathe reading it 😂

I liked the one where the OP responded to her own thread a year or so later, I think it was a pushchair recommendation

I once watched a local am-dram play, which was a murder mystery. One of the young men had to pretend to be shot. He threw himself to the floor and let out the loudest fart you have ever heard. It still amuses me.

Found the IT guy thread, bloody funny responses:-

www.mumsnet.com/talk/parenting/2307274-I-am-everything-you-hate-about-people-on-the-internet-I-am-here-to-help

The Valentines Day trip to the Oxo Tower.