What's the funniest thing you have ever read on MN?

[Noglassjustthebottleandastraw]

A few weeks ago there was a thread that was really funny. I literally couldn't move for laughing at one of the comments. Think it was something like "did you smash your tits on the keyboard and press send" most days since, this comment has popped into my mind and made me laugh so much.

So who ever posted that comment thanks so much 💐

What's the funniest thing you have ever read on MN?

I've said this on another thread.

A poster described Jacob Rees Mogg who looks like a man, who when he masturbates, dusts comes out.

I still think of it everytime I see him 😁

@minou123 😂 I swear he has time travelled from the Victorian times 😂

The haunted pencil.

Screaming in the Chapel it was a few years ago now but hilarious.

The pearl clutching was out of control for one poster, describing a woman who in a busy moment forgot to make her child call and thank her grandmother (the poster's MIL) for a present until the next day as 'scum of the Earth' 😂.

Not forgot altogether, just for a few hours. I still wonder if the poster has got over her shock that people can behave like this or if she just keeled over and died.

The ‘STARTING ROUTE TO..’ when the girl had put in the address of a nice looking guy in the office as he read it out (while sitting beside her)

Back in ye olden days, the 'cubed poo' story

Years ago when I first joined there was a woman who was posting about a sexting sesh with her new man and that things were going a bit too slowly. The line “it’s been 45 minutes and I’ve not even had so much ad a finger.” Has stuck with me all these years 🤣

The woman with her grizzly toddler in the doctors waiting room trying to call him a whiny tinker and ending up calling him a tiny wanker! Omg!

A very funny (tongue in cheek) thread about mums outdoing each other. One poster gloated about glueing letters on the end of her tampax to teach her unborn baby the alphabet.

Another post about elderly parents, one poster sai
d her parents would come to her house each with their own laptop to read their emails,even though it had been explained to them they could access them from any computer.

My favourite post was the one where a tired new mum brought her baby to the doctor, he asked her to put one hand on the his head and the other hand on his tummy. So she put the posed the baby with one hand on his head and his other hand on his little tummy. "Not the baby,YOU" The Dr dryly replied.

@LoonyIdea the haunted pencil?

@Cookiedough123 everyone says that was so funny. Will need to look for it and have a read.

Penis Beaker

Snapped and farted

My favourite post was the one where a tired new mum brought her baby to the doctor, he asked her to put one hand on the his head and the other hand on his tummy. So she put the posed the baby with one hand on his head and his other hand on his little tummy. "Not the baby,YOU" The Dr dryly replied.

Ah I remember that one, so funny! So plausible in those early baby fog days 😁

The DH who ate the fat balls from the fridge that their kids had made for the birds. "He thought I had left them for snacks!". I remember being up in the night feeding DD and waking DH up as I was laughing so much. I'm sure that thread must be in classics.

MN went downhill after penis beaker (made up nonsense!)

Painted pigeon "is that you Paul?"

Stiff competition, but it was probably a thread about why a neighbour was constantly washing black bin bags.

@SharpLily that made me 😂😂😂

@Dilemmaemmaaa no way 😂 she probably moved office 😂

@iknowimcoming don't leave us hanging. Spill

@MiniMoosey 😂😂😂 why was she sexting and on here 😂

@LoonyIdea now that's a freudian slip 😂

@DeepSeededUrbanDecay can babies even read in the womb? The elderly couple aw that's so sweet. The tired mum definitely can relate with 😂

The first thread I ever read was about super soakers. Along the lines of 'is it ok to bring super soakers to a kids birthday party'

Mumsnet: no, do not do it

OP 20 pages on still hadn't cottoned she would be totally out of order. The sharply funny vitriol cracked me up.

@Gingernaut and @knackeredagain I've seen people posting about those threads. I don't know how to get to classics though.

Think I need to have a classics night. I've not even read that thread and laughing away at the thought.

A poster who said her mum called Czechia "Czech Of The Republic". Like some kind of swashbuckling Saturday morning hero.

A (different) poster's account of lunch with the neighbours where an "apple cheeked old dear" apparently got "absolutely wankered" and threw a bread roll at a bloke she suspected of exaggerating the number of blue tits he was attracting to his bird feeder.

The tiny wanker one got me

And the cutted up pear .

And the tiny Vietnamese woman in the garden

Oh and pom bear anyone ?