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What's the funniest thing you have ever read on MN?

430 replies

Noglassjustthebottleandastraw · 08/07/2022 00:15

A few weeks ago there was a thread that was really funny. I literally couldn't move for laughing at one of the comments. Think it was something like "did you smash your tits on the keyboard and press send" most days since, this comment has popped into my mind and made me laugh so much.

So who ever posted that comment thanks so much 💐

What's the funniest thing you have ever read on MN?

OP posts:
minou123 · 08/07/2022 00:20

I've said this on another thread.

A poster described Jacob Rees Mogg who looks like a man, who when he masturbates, dusts comes out.

I still think of it everytime I see him 😁

Noglassjustthebottleandastraw · 08/07/2022 00:26

@minou123 😂 I swear he has time travelled from the Victorian times 😂

OP posts:
LoonyIdea · 08/07/2022 00:29

The haunted pencil.

Cookiedough123 · 08/07/2022 00:30

Screaming in the Chapel it was a few years ago now but hilarious.

SharpLily · 08/07/2022 00:31

The pearl clutching was out of control for one poster, describing a woman who in a busy moment forgot to make her child call and thank her grandmother (the poster's MIL) for a present until the next day as 'scum of the Earth' 😂.

Not forgot altogether, just for a few hours. I still wonder if the poster has got over her shock that people can behave like this or if she just keeled over and died.

Dilemmaemmaaa · 08/07/2022 00:33

The ‘STARTING ROUTE TO..’ when the girl had put in the address of a nice looking guy in the office as he read it out (while sitting beside her)

iknowimcoming · 08/07/2022 00:34

Back in ye olden days, the 'cubed poo' story Grin

MiniMoosey · 08/07/2022 00:37

Years ago when I first joined there was a woman who was posting about a sexting sesh with her new man and that things were going a bit too slowly. The line “it’s been 45 minutes and I’ve not even had so much ad a finger.” Has stuck with me all these years 🤣

LoonyIdea · 08/07/2022 00:38

The woman with her grizzly toddler in the doctors waiting room trying to call him a whiny tinker and ending up calling him a tiny wanker! Omg!

DeepSeededUrbanDecay · 08/07/2022 00:40

A very funny (tongue in cheek) thread about mums outdoing each other. One poster gloated about glueing letters on the end of her tampax to teach her unborn baby the alphabet.

Another post about elderly parents, one poster sai
d her parents would come to her house each with their own laptop to read their emails,even though it had been explained to them they could access them from any computer.

My favourite post was the one where a tired new mum brought her baby to the doctor, he asked her to put one hand on the his head and the other hand on his tummy. So she put the posed the baby with one hand on his head and his other hand on his little tummy. "Not the baby,YOU" The Dr dryly replied.

Noglassjustthebottleandastraw · 08/07/2022 00:42

@LoonyIdea the haunted pencil?

@Cookiedough123 everyone says that was so funny. Will need to look for it and have a read.

OP posts:
Gingernaut · 08/07/2022 00:43

Penis Beaker

knackeredagain · 08/07/2022 00:48

Snapped and farted

LemonJuiceFromConcentrate · 08/07/2022 00:48

My favourite post was the one where a tired new mum brought her baby to the doctor, he asked her to put one hand on the his head and the other hand on his tummy. So she put the posed the baby with one hand on his head and his other hand on his little tummy. "Not the baby,YOU" The Dr dryly replied.

Ah I remember that one, so funny! So plausible in those early baby fog days 😁

TheUsualChaos · 08/07/2022 00:49

The DH who ate the fat balls from the fridge that their kids had made for the birds. "He thought I had left them for snacks!". I remember being up in the night feeding DD and waking DH up as I was laughing so much. I'm sure that thread must be in classics.

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 08/07/2022 00:49

Gingernaut · 08/07/2022 00:43

Penis Beaker

MN went downhill after penis beaker (made up nonsense!)

MsOllie · 08/07/2022 00:50

Painted pigeon "is that you Paul?"

ThreeImaginaryBoys · 08/07/2022 00:51

Stiff competition, but it was probably a thread about why a neighbour was constantly washing black bin bags.

Noglassjustthebottleandastraw · 08/07/2022 00:52

@SharpLily that made me 😂😂😂

@Dilemmaemmaaa no way 😂 she probably moved office 😂

@iknowimcoming don't leave us hanging. Spill

@MiniMoosey 😂😂😂 why was she sexting and on here 😂

@LoonyIdea now that's a freudian slip 😂

@DeepSeededUrbanDecay can babies even read in the womb? The elderly couple aw that's so sweet. The tired mum definitely can relate with 😂

OP posts:
RiverSkater · 08/07/2022 00:53

The first thread I ever read was about super soakers. Along the lines of 'is it ok to bring super soakers to a kids birthday party'

Mumsnet: no, do not do it

OP 20 pages on still hadn't cottoned she would be totally out of order. The sharply funny vitriol cracked me up.

Noglassjustthebottleandastraw · 08/07/2022 00:54

@Gingernaut and @knackeredagain I've seen people posting about those threads. I don't know how to get to classics though.

OP posts:
Noglassjustthebottleandastraw · 08/07/2022 00:55

TheUsualChaos · 08/07/2022 00:49

The DH who ate the fat balls from the fridge that their kids had made for the birds. "He thought I had left them for snacks!". I remember being up in the night feeding DD and waking DH up as I was laughing so much. I'm sure that thread must be in classics.

Think I need to have a classics night. I've not even read that thread and laughing away at the thought.

OP posts:
ByeByeBoree · 08/07/2022 00:55

A poster who said her mum called Czechia "Czech Of The Republic". Like some kind of swashbuckling Saturday morning hero.

A (different) poster's account of lunch with the neighbours where an "apple cheeked old dear" apparently got "absolutely wankered" and threw a bread roll at a bloke she suspected of exaggerating the number of blue tits he was attracting to his bird feeder.

stillvicarinatutu · 08/07/2022 00:56

The tiny wanker one got me

And the cutted up pear .

And the tiny Vietnamese woman in the garden

stillvicarinatutu · 08/07/2022 00:57

Oh and pom bear anyone ?