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Original poster

Worst dates - I need a laugh!

125 replies

GetupStandup · 20/04/2022 19:55

I’ll start:

Went on a date with a guy I met on a dating app but he was from my hometown. We both worked in the city so we arranged to meet in what he commented was ‘a very swanky bar’. The entire night he spoke about money, how much he earned, how must his house cost, his investments, how much the fucking round of drinks he just bought us came to. Told me to check out the menu at how expensive the drinks are there (his idea to go..)

If he wasn’t talking about money he would ask me questions like:

’if you could be any chocolate bar, what would you be and why?’ …
or
’how much can you lift?’ 😂

As we’re from the same town we had to get the overground train back together and it was absolutely rammed. I pointed out an empty seat and he pretty much knocked me clean out trying to RACE me for it. He sat down looking all smug so I fucked off to the next carriage instead…

Any others?

OP posts:
BruceAndNosh · 20/04/2022 19:56

Took me to a post mortem...

FromOurHatsToOurFeet · 20/04/2022 19:58

I went on blind double date with a friend from work, her boyfriend and his friend from work. Who didn't say a word to me for the entire evening of a meal, bowling and then back to their work flat to watch a film. I had to stay as I was driving my friend back but it was awful.

Romeerka · 20/04/2022 19:58

Wtf 😂😂

I think the most awkward date I've ever had was with a guy from uni. We went to a movie night event and during the introduction, he popped his phone out to show me the trailer for the movie we were going to watch.
First thing that appeared on his browser when he opened it was porn

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General relationships
BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 20/04/2022 19:58

Do go on BruceAndNosh, I'm listening. Shock

Bellex · 20/04/2022 20:00

I got bite by his dog and had to take myself to A&E

DatingAWidower22 · 20/04/2022 20:03

I went on a date with a guy at uni. We’d chatted a bit on the phone and he said he was picking me up and taking me to an event and to dress nice. He collected me and drove me to… a community centre. The event was a prize giving for his cricket club and I looked ridiculous in my nice dress! I couldn’t even leave as he’d driven and I had no idea where I was 😂

Original poster
GetupStandup · 20/04/2022 20:04

@BruceAndNosh what the actual F! That is creepy af.

OP posts:
PossumSholom · 20/04/2022 20:08

I had my drink spiked - its was pretty fucking awful and thankfully the "only thing" that happened is I fell down a flight of stairs of his apartment block and he freaked out when a neighbour found and helped me...

I have very little recollection of it but years later I was walking in the same area and I a lot of things just came flooding back - it was really, really very freaky. I now avoid the area completely (and I am having therapy).

One of the things that did happen is that when I was being treated in the ED I "remet" a man I had known for a long time but had lost contact with - we are now engaged.

BruceAndNosh · 20/04/2022 20:09

The less details I give about the post mortem, the better

Original poster
GetupStandup · 20/04/2022 20:12

@FromOurHatsToOurFeet oh noooo! So awkward. Some people are just plain weird.

OP posts:
Original poster
GetupStandup · 20/04/2022 20:13

@Romeerka 😂😂😂

OP posts:
sleepymum50 · 20/04/2022 20:25

I went on a first date, and the guy drove us to his local pub.

turns out he was madly into snooker/pool. He spent the night playing pool with other people (some kind of tournament)
and just popping back every so often to where I was sitting by myself in a corner of the pub. He didn’t introduce me to anybody.

I was only 17, so a long time ago. I didn’t make a fuss or ask to leave.

obviously there was no second date.

GreyCarpet · 20/04/2022 20:30

I dunno, I reckon I'd be pretty impressed if I'd been taken to a post mortem on a date...

At school, my friend and I attended the pathology dept open day at the local hospital. We were only 13 and most disappointed we didn't see an actual post mortem...

Pyri · 20/04/2022 20:33

I went on a date with a guy who spent the whole evening doing impressions of Eddie Murphy and catchphrases of other random comedians who I didn’t really know.

”garlic bread?!” was funny when Peter Kaye said it the first time but not repeated again and again

GreyCarpet · 20/04/2022 20:33

My worst date... it was actually my idea and my dates nightmare...

We'd had a lovely afternoon and I suggested going to watch a meteor shower in the local park dogging spot cue flashing headlamps and a rather concerned looking gentleman 🤣

Best part was, they locked the gates and we had to sneak out through a hedge whilst trying to avoid being spotted by the police car patrolling the perimeter, on account of it being a well known (apparently!) dogging spot.

He had to go back the next day and retrieve his car.

I'm sure he remembers it well. He didn't ask for a second date 🤷🏻‍♀️

GeriJuice · 20/04/2022 20:35

Third date and he asked me if I wanted to come over to his and he’ll cook us dinner.
I take over a bottle of wine and we sit down at the table and he brings it out and puts it in front of me….

Chicken Kiev, frozen oven chips and spaghetti 😂 I thought he was taking the piss at first but he was being dead serious and thought he’d done a grand job.

KatherineJaneway · 20/04/2022 20:39

Met up for an 'evening out'. Arrived at the pub and had a drink, offered to buy but he said no, chatted away for a while. It was getting close to 8pm and I was hungry. Once glasses were almost empty he announced 'I know a nice pub we can go to next, I've already eaten'. He didn't ask me if I was hungry etc. I bought the next drinks and some crisps to stop my stomach rumbling and made my move as soon as polite. Nowadays I'd have left early or gone to eat and he had a drink.

He asked me for another date, I politely declined. I would have paid for my own dinner.

Romeerka · 20/04/2022 21:27

GeriJuice · 20/04/2022 20:35

Third date and he asked me if I wanted to come over to his and he’ll cook us dinner.
I take over a bottle of wine and we sit down at the table and he brings it out and puts it in front of me….

Chicken Kiev, frozen oven chips and spaghetti 😂 I thought he was taking the piss at first but he was being dead serious and thought he’d done a grand job.

Awww
What's wrong with chicken, fries and spaghetti?

Maybe he's not used to cooking and for him it was a big achievement

Georgeskitchen · 20/04/2022 21:55

When I was about 18 I was going out with a guy who suggested we double date with his best mate and girlfriend. Got to the pub and the g/f turned out to be a girl from my primary school. I said "hey do you remem......" she just cut me off mid sentence, muttered "yeah" and never uttered another word to me.
So awkward and embarrassing!!

fishingforflies · 20/04/2022 22:08

@Romeerka

Awww What's wrong with chicken, fries and spaghetti?

Maybe he's not used to cooking and for him it was a big achievement

@KatherineJaneway maybe you can PM his number over to @Romeerka ?
Romeerka · 20/04/2022 23:42

fishingforflies · 20/04/2022 22:08

@Romeerka

Awww What's wrong with chicken, fries and spaghetti?

Maybe he's not used to cooking and for him it was a big achievement

@KatherineJaneway maybe you can PM his number over to @Romeerka ?

Okay!

Sarkymarky · 20/04/2022 23:58

BruceAndNosh
Please tell us why he did that, really intrigued

Brightrainbow · 20/04/2022 23:58

Id been talking to a guy online and we agreed to meet up
what he didn’t tell me was the had the squeakiest voice ever
anyway,we sat down in the pub-and he started telling me about his job-as a bathroom fan fitter
that was it-he just kept banging on about bathroom fans-no other topic
he had to walk back for his car,which was parked near to my house (he didn’t know where I lived,thankfully)
anyway we stopped off for chips,as I was starving and he insisted that he was paying-fine,I had no issue paying for myself but he almost forced me out of the way at the till
we had our chips and he hinted he wanted to come back to mine but that was not happening
we parted ways and I chalked it up to experience
about a week later I got a text demanding £1.90 for the chips as he ‘had paid for me but didn’t even get a shag’

i calmly blocked him and never heard another word

Pickledlemo · 21/04/2022 00:09

My date went to the toilet and never came back.

sparklyDMs · 21/04/2022 05:57

On a blind first date with a guy, arranged to meet at a seaside town car park, we were going to walk round the twin and find a cafe. He pulled up in a camper van and said jump in I know a lovely beach nearby. I told him I'd rather not as I'd never met him before I'd rather stick to the plan. He was a bit put out but then asked for money so he could park his van. He never came back - he drove home then texted to say he'd left because he'd been offended and then asked for another date Confused