One liners and quick posts on MN that have made you laugh?

[Snooks1971]

As in... tickled you.. have a wry inwards smile.. dare I say it have a silent chuckle? I don’t drink tea and so have never spat it out

There are tons... one from this week is from a thread where the teenagers had drunk all the milk at 2am leaving none for the OPs morning tea. What tickled me was a different poster empathising and saying that in a different thread the other OP had retaliated by “aggressively hoovering” outside their teen’s bedroom door.

Aggressively hoovering. Love it.

I think Gregg Wallace was the "thumb with glasses".

I always snigger at (re poster's useless male partner): "Does he have a golden cock that ejaculates diamonds?"

I am Hoof and Foof lady.

I’m loving this - particularly the Tom Jones “dry, dry, dry vagina” !

DP getting irritated because I'm laughing too much at the Raab one to tell him what I'm laughing about. It's SO accurate! 🤣🤣

Same 😂 he's just told me it's "like being in bed with Muttley"

Oh god this thread - it’s been the tonic I have needed and I haven’t laughed this much in months. Classics?

“A freshly wanked cock” for David Cameron. Why have I never noticed this before?!?!

Am giggling away in bed reading this - how nice to start the day laughing out loud!

One thread started with the OP saying I've just seen two women both in wheelchairs having a fist fight.

First reply was do you live in Scotland?

Really made me laugh.

Literally last night odd thread about a man being sacked for having a threesome. Early response “is he a vicar?”

My favourite was a thread title... 'Someone's nicked my f***g cava!' Just beautiful. She'd left her boot open whilst unloading the shopping and someone made off with it.

I've had to stop reading this as I need to go out..but am saving it for later with a glass of wine..Love it! And thanks for starting it. .Fat Match.. I'm laughing as much as when I first read it...

@VetOnCall

There was a thread ages ago in Baby Names where the OP asked if there were any names that Hugo could be short for. There were some hilarious responses - Hugoesthere, Hugotthelove, Hugoslavia and Hughgogirl were my favourites - but the OP didn't appreciate them and got a bit stroppy and then flounced, whereupon someone quipped 'are you still there OP or did Hugoaway?'. It still makes me laugh now.

I’m crying!!!

This has had me howling 😂
Two of my favourites: a poster describing a famous movie star - “he gives me the fanny gallops” 😂 I’d never heard that expression before.
Yesterday, someone asked on the sex board how many sex toys they owned. A poster came on and said “none, because my fanny is more sensitive than a nervous butterfly!”
Note to self - do not read this thread before having to do a Zoom call for work - I can’t keep a straight face!

Yes David Cameron does have a shiny face !

Mine will always and forever be..

'Balonz?

Wtf?'

I was roaring 😂😂 just two words! The Balonz thread was perfect trolling. My other fave was from Is Voldemort a virgin? Thread,

'accio spine' it just made me giggle! Unfortunately that particular post seems to have been removed, I'm still sad about it.

Yesterday I had actual tears in my eyes with mirth when a poster said that Jonathan Van Tam looked like Penfold, so no she didn't fancy him 😂

I also enjoy any Gregg Wallace threads, one posted said he looked like he smelt of ham

'Slithery' was funnier than Balonz!

@grassisjeweled

Cna someone explain the 'I'm a Canadian' thing?

A somewhat annoying, know-it-all type was pronouncing about something or other they do in Canada. A poster (SGM?) kept politely suggesting that wasn't the full story, that in Canada they did X, y, z instead of a, b, c... Back and forth, and The.Obnoxious.One wasn't taking the hint that she was wrong, so SGM just blurted out " Lady, I AM CANADIAN!!"

She should know

I’m howling with laughter here, thanks so much for this thread!

@Nyctophyllia

Also someone complaining about the amount of swearing here and the first response was " off you fuck then cuntychops '

Absolutely love this! 😂

Someone once posted a "can you help me find" thread looking for a really obscure album by a police force in Hawaii from the '60s.

The first reply was "MARGARETTTT? I've a lady here looking for an album by the Hawaii police force..." etc.

As in the League of Gentlemen sketch. Had me roaring!

Little Britain, I mean!

Oh I have to say which I still laugh about now ( as does my son) some years ago on the Geek / tech thread - some lovely well meaning young lad came up and said - I'm good at IT - if any of you want some hints and tips then maybe I can help.

Reply was "Oh thank God you are here because I was just bashing my titis on the keyboard and hoping for the best "

Oh I cannot stop laughing - it was Daniel into the Lion's den 1) he was honestly, I think , trying to be helpful 2) his audience included senior programmers , IT managers and inter alia just women who were very competent with computers. I veered between sorry for him and just laughing at the responses he got

FFS tits not titis

@EmbarrassingAdmissions - that’s it, I’ve totally lost it over the dolphin thread! Bloody hilarious 😂

Thanks OP, great thread!

I'm sure I read it here- a poster overheard a posh mummy at the park call frantically after her DS, "Johnny, mind your penis!"

I say this to DH now if he looks like he's about to get really stuck in to something 😂

Thanks for the laughs, OP and everyone. Off to bash my tits on the keyboard now. Hoping for the best ...

I found this classic from 2012 for the first time recently. It's resplendent. Loved the humour, wish I'd been around here in the earlier days!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/1392622-BODEN-the-endless-threads-about-quality-These-have-been-around-since-Dawn-of-time