ADs predict wine and rioting before 6.30pm (but only if the sun's out)

[Dowser]

Over here peeps.

Not much sun today..so plenty of wine it is

Not Jaws.... smoke on the water...

"Shaaarrrkkk on the waatteeerrrr"

Fucking sharks. Jesus Christ on a bike.

I mean. You can see a shark can't you, and it's quite easy to avoid a shark. I don't reckon the survival rate is quite as good for shark attacks though.

Moron.

Makes me think of Brad from Neighbours.

I thought Boris said the virus was a mugger. Perhaps it's a mugger in a shark onesie.

those case numbers on the how many cases in your area tools - guardian, DM, Torygraphy etc - are the the pillar 1 numbers published by PHE. They are results of NHS testing - clinically indicated (inpatients) and staff. That didn't matter at the beginning because they were pretty much the only tests being done.

But most of the positives now are from pillar 2 testing ('our commercial private partners') - that's the home tests & tests in drive through places etc - they make up about 75%. The results of pillar 2 are not published by PHE and are really hard to get hold of. Hence the situation where PHE are saying there are 36 cases (or whatever) from pillar 1 but taking an age to notice that there are >900 from pillar 2.

In my town we have had 2 cases in the past 2 weeks - according to the Torygaphy/guardian postcode thingies - but the local newspaper is reporting about that number each day, that's the difference between pillar 1 & 2.

Basically it's another time where the numbers are just a load of crap.

@Orangeblossom78

BBC going on quoting Bojo now:

"the virus is out there still, circling like a shark on the water".

Oooh that means its circling off shore (so inland areas like Leicester are safe) being followed by an orchestra making dah-na-dah-nah noises so we can all remain fully alert.

I will say that, at the initial start of lockdown my twitter feed was full of the uni cops retweeting Leics police how they'd gleefully informed an elderly lady on the forbidden nature of sitting on park benches and moved her on... and there's none of that this time around at least.

Am refusing to turn the news on. Don't want the kids to pick up on the Leicester story as it's obviously somewhere they're very aware of as I go to uni there and one of their teachers lives there.

i want to burn matt hamcock's tie.

I fucking hate that man

Morning all. Still sat on my bed (dresses though, as DS had a 9am zoom brass lesson and I didn't think the teacher needed to see me in my nightie!) stuck under a cat. I have washed up, that is all.

Was supposed to be collecting my tent from DB and going for a walk with them, but weather is appalling so no go today. Its nearly an hour away, so not driving there just to pick the tent up. So I'm sulking on my bed with a cat. I could be painting walls, or shampooing carpets, but I CBA.

Loving Malaka and wondering how to work it into a username...

Huge sympathies for Leicester people, I have friends just outside the lockdown who are understandably anxious.

@torydeathdrug

i want to burn matt hamcock's tie.

I fucking hate that man

He is chief Malaka.

@trappedsincesundaymorn

I thought Boris said the virus was a mugger. Perhaps it's a mugger in a shark onesie.

Maybe what he meant was mugger as in the Indian crocodile thing? Maybe? Reaching here?

torydeathdrug - thank you for the clear explination it makes sense to me now- though numbers being bollocks was my conclusion.

the pillar 2 numbers are included in the daily cases - don't want to give grist to conspiracy theorists - but almost impossible to get the numbers for individual areas. Can't figure out if the government has the same trouble (big problem if they do) & hence the delay wrt to Leicester.

@Cattermole, it's a bit worrying if he can't tell the difference between a shark and a crocodile...

Right Honourable Mr Malaka Hamcock Chief Dementor and All Around Fucking Wanker

Ok. Am doing a new thread. Please, please promise me you'll go on it otherwise I'll have to leave MN red faced embarrassment

i'm poised to post .....

I went looking for a suitable shark meme. Google was lacking but this made me titter.

Maybe the sharks a circling Rutland water?

@dowser UHL is University Hospitals of Leicester - so the three Leicester hospitals (Leicester Royal Infirmary, Leicester General Hospital and Glenfield Hospital).

Stressful! Have never started one before, didn't actually know what I was doing!

AD's say "well open the playgrounds and swimming pools then you Malaka" www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/3954279-ad-s-say-well-open-the-playgrounds-and-swimming-pools-then-you-malaka

twitter.com/theAliceRoberts/status/1277598684528750592

Am I allowed to call Prof Alice Roberts a Malaka without being deleted here? She is bemused as to why people are going out if they don't need to.

How long exactly are we supposed to not go out for, for a virus that kills 0.5% of people? Is she proposing we don't drive any longer or use planes or hoovers or run or play football?

It's clever people like her who I despair of the most. I think she has someone in her family with asthma so I do get it's that bit scarier but really honestly are people like that going to shut themselves away for life? What quality of life is that? I've said before I suffered serious illness as a child. I spent a significant chunk of my childhood away from other people and am still feeling the repercussions 30 years on. It is no life. It's barely a half-life when it carries on for too long. I look back at my childhood and know I missed out on years of fun and connection and learning and even the mild bad experiences which people normally bond over (like a bad boss or teacher who drives everyone mad who you laugh over together when away from them). Why have peoples' brains malfunctioned to this degree that they want so much to shut down? I want to LIVE - I want to meet with other people and have rich experiences. That is not possible when shut away however many zoom meetings you attend.

Christ - the absolute rampant snobbery on that Alice Robert’s twitter thread is off the charts. Very unpleasant.