It has been thirty years since I proper fell over

[MutteringDarkly]

Fixed that tonight out on a run. Somehow tripped over my own feet and went down like a sedation-darted elephant. Now nursing all my bruises and grazes, with a particularly fetching peppa pig plaster on one elbow. FFS.

Please tell me some of you have achieved similar feats of elegance and grace?

I tripped when out for a run and had to ask a nurse in the changing room to get me a plaster as my knee was bleeding so badly I couldn't put scrubs on.

She refused unto I'd been seen in ED and I had a doctor and about 3 nurses scrubbing my knee out, debating the best dressing for it.

I was grateful but I only wanted a plaster...

Yes, I have. Feeding my ponies, went to duck through the electric fence (not switched on) , got one foot through, caught the toe of the second foot on the rope, did a nosedive towards the ground, sunglasses fell off, thought I was going to be impaled through my eyeball by the arm.of my sunglasses.

Yikes! Wincing at the knee-scrubbing team, and the eyeball near-miss...

Not for a while, but only because I now move at the speed of a glacier in order to avoid the issue. Every time I fall, I get cellulitis and need antibiotics and I’m on crutches for weeks, because I normally really hurt myself. Tore my patellar tendon last time, that was agony.

I fell over running to work last year and arrived at school covered in grazes. In my defence, the pavement was very uneven and it was back in the days of traffic when you couldn't run down the middle of the road.

A few years ago whilst walking into an airport, I thought I looked nice and sophisticated had a tartan poncho thingy on and had to lift my case down about 5 steps. I picked to my case and basically I flew down them all and landed on my hands and knees. Gave me a real fright and I ripped my poncho :(

I’ve been running for 10 year or so. Never fallen over.
Went down like a sack of spuds a week ago. A poor chap was on the other side of the road desperate to help but not able to.

My thumb is turning black (in a non-frostbite way). I can move it in all directions but it's going to be a corker of a bruise.

six weeks ago now....fell an awkward way and caused an avulsion to the right ankle and proper broke the left leg.
weeks of total non weight bearing on the left and weeks of only being able to manage a stand and pivot with the right.
the waistline ohhhhh my gosh....

Not the poncho!  Sorry, that does sound scary though, anything with stairs, ugh.

@FlamingoAndJohn you make me feel better. Were you ok?

@fallfallfall BOTH legs out of action???

yup and technically both broken. the left was operated on the day after the fall; one plate and 7 screws...

Once in my teens I went flying on a downhill, slid down on one side of my face and ended up with massive graze there and on hand. Had to give a solo in a concert at school a few days later with my face in a mess.... and frustratingly, only after I got home did I realise that somewhere in the fall, my watch that I was very fond of had come off. Went back to the spot as soon as I realised but never found it.

Fell down the stairs in September and broke my ankle.

I have dreadful cracked heels and one night felt all smug about being able to spend enough time filing them and moisturising them that they were no longer sore. Next morning I managed to slip down the stairs on my newly super smoothed feet and take out two of the bannister spindles like the absolute sack of shit that I am. Not my finest hour. Needless to say I’ve not filed or moisturised my feet again and just put up with my painful, cracked but very grippy heels!

I have form for this. Hurled myself full length down St Mary Street in Cardiff in broad daylight and landed at the feet of a very surprised man with a briefcase. Right in front of the monkey clock. Broke my wrist.

Managed to stumble into nearby cafe and phone DD. All I could say was ‘Hurty handy’.

I have also fallen flat on my face in every office I’ve worked in. Never had a job where I haven’t made it into the accident book.

Ouch! I slipped in the rain while on holiday in October. My knee landed on a metal grate. Still have a big mark. You have my sympathy falling as an adult hurts. You really clatter down!

Hurty handy! you are so right. You lot are making me feel less alone. Will continue to cultivate "grippy" heels, good advice there.

I was decorating the ceiling in the front porch...really high, but in a small space, the step ladder just fitted and I only had the last corner, so up a step I went... up on tip toe, and just needed a wee stretch more and somehow actually took BOTH feet off the ladder and plummeted to my death the bottom of the ladder....the front door was at my back and the handle hit every bone on the way down and my upstretched painting arm hit every rung in front of me I was BLACK AND BLUE for weeks.

it was quite lucky it was in the porch tbh as there was no where for me to fall except to the bottom of the ladder, I sat there in a heap and cried for a while

The other one was thanks to the dog...great bull headed burly black lab...came running up behind me and took my knees out...thanks to lots of practice I am quite good at falling so I sort of turned and rolled, but I ended up in the little ditchy bit between the path and the field with an over exuberant, excited lab thinking that this was the best game ever. My leg was bruised from mid thigh to calf and had a similar bruise on my opposite arm where the turning and rolling had landed me on my arm.

Dh says I am a disaster waiting to happen...he's not wrong tbh.

that

I'm just grateful that people ask "Did you fall over?" and haven't changed to "Did you have a fall?"

Also fell over running bounced my head off the pavement and skinned my knees. Realised when I got up I was about an inch away from headbutting a brick pillar. Alone in the dark staggered home.
Recently fell up a pavement on a busy highstreet and nearly facepalmed the ground. Was more shocked that no one stopped to help or see if I was alright.

@1066vegan good point, small mercies.

Probably for the best I have no pets. I clearly don't need an ambush to clatter to the floor.

Yes!!!! London Euston station, after a super stressful day at work, compounded by the need that my house sale had fallen through.
I had a laptop, pull along suitcase and huge handbag. A fellow literally barged past me and sent me flying flat out, ripped my trousers and hurt my side!
Really nice guy helped me up and on to the train, 3 hour journey home that I spent very teary!
Grazed my knee and ribs, chipped a tooth and smashed an Elizabeth Arden foundation
So yes, falling hurts when you're grown up!

I'm a clutz anyway, but have fallen over on runs more than once. Knees, elbows, hands. Lots of grazes and bruises.

Hope you're OK and not too sore! Arnica and Epsom salt bath