It has been thirty years since I proper fell over

[MutteringDarkly]

Fixed that tonight out on a run. Somehow tripped over my own feet and went down like a sedation-darted elephant. Now nursing all my bruises and grazes, with a particularly fetching peppa pig plaster on one elbow. FFS.

Please tell me some of you have achieved similar feats of elegance and grace?

I am another “fally overy “ person.

About 15 years ago, rushing back from shopping street near work, having bought some summer clothes, been to chemist and also 2 heavy bags of food shopping (so both arms heavily overloaded - no hand to save myself), had to cross a busy road at pedestrian lights. Cars notoriously slow to stop for pedestrian cycle, and it was raining so I was rushing as only got to start crossing when orange man was showing. Didn’t see a circle of metal dropped in the middle of the street (dropped from a construction van I think - would have bound together a bunch of bricks), caught a foot in it and went flying. Someone I knew vaguely from work helped grab the bags, and I got up and hobbled to pavement while cars beeped at me.

Torn trousers knee on 1 leg, both knees grazed, hands filthy and grazed, small graze on my face, composure and dignity completely gone, 1 carton milk burst and dripping through its plastic bag and 2 paper bags burst from rain and puddles they hit so had to gather those things into my arms. Even more so when I realised later that at least 4 more people from the office had seen it happen, so it spread like wildfire around the office.

Worst bit - as the first aider in the building I had to patch myself up. So had no one to give me tea and sympathy, just a “have you those papers ready?” For that afternoon’s big meeting.

Ever since, I have a full change of clothes and spare makeup kit and hair stuff in the office to do “running repairs” - they have all come in useful.....

I fell shopping in Zara (it had stairs) and broke my foot

Fell flat on my hand in to a van about 18 months ago, and then again 6 months later and am now awaiting tendon repair surgery on my hand.

I'm not much of a faller, but when I go, I go hard.

I'm glad it's not just me! I fell over outside my kids preschool. There's a drain which was covered in leaves, i stepped in it and crashed to the floor like a sack of spuds. Id really made an effort and put a dress and tights on that day. Very unusual for me. If only id put jeans on as normal id have been ok. As it is, i basically tore a hole in my knee and when i got home had to peel the tights out of it. Unfortunately there was another parent behind me. He was very concerned for me but i just did a tinkly laugh and said oh I'm fine through gritted teeth! When i had dropped the dc off i got back to the car and had a good cry i was black and blue for a few days.

I'd never fallen over past the age of 6 or so despite running a lot. Then last year I was late collecting the dc from school and tried to run the 1k from car to school at full pelt. In palazzo trousers. I started well until my foot got caught and I fell and skidded across the pavement. Badly cut knees and hands and a shoulder sprain but I was late so jumped up and ran/hobbled on. The teacher came out to chat to me about something and I started feeling very wobbly and her voice was echoing and then I came round on the floor. It was rather embarrassing.

Did this on Friday night pulling a blanket that was stuck in the back of the sofa, chiming away before I expected. Fell off the sofa and smacked my hand on the coffee table. Not broken, but lots of nice tissue damage. It bloody hurts.

I was 38 weeks pregnant, the size of a house and suffering with bad sciatica. I could hardly walk but managed to waddle to the park round the corner from my house to let my DS run off some energy. I went flying on some wet mud and fell down an embankment on my arse. A whole skate park of kids came to a standstill and stared. I was caked from head to toe in wet mud. Mortifying! Luckily baby was fine but it was the nail in the coffin for my hip.

I slid off the bench seats in a packed Yo Sushi!
Still in a seated position but lying on the floor.
I was sober too.

I'm impressed OP, that you've gone 30 years without mishap 👍 Mine are too many to trot out on here without sounding like I'm 5 years old 🤦‍♀️ but two more recent and memorable (public 😱🤦‍♀️😂) ones are: The Time I Went Arse Over Tit In My Classroom (tripped over a stupid bloody trailing backpack strap...death traps these things!!) and cut my chin open as I landed 😢...needed stitching! And: The Time I Mis-Stepped Off The Pavement Outside Greggs (landed rather awkwardly, twisted my knee, grazed elbow, hurt pride 😳)

I'm not very graceful 🤷‍♀️😂

A couple of years ago at work, taking recycling out to the big shared bins at the back of the shopping centre when the centre manager walked past, I called out a cheery hello, waved, tripped over my own feet and split the rubbish bag as I fell on it. Dry paper waste for recycling thankfully and nothing messy! Mortified, it was right as he turned to look at me so I got "morning Bear-oh no, oh dear, Bear are you ok?!". Ripped my trousers, grazed both knees and one palm, pulled a muscle in my bum and partially tore ligaments in my wrist that took months of wearing a splint to heal!

My last time was about 15 years ago when I was working for a council. I had to go and do a presentation in the council 'chamber' which is accessed to the podium by some stairs running the whole length like a small cinema.

I'd prepared, I was rehearsed and my presentation was going to go brilliantly. Only it did. I got up from my chair, made my way down the stairs, pitched forward and did that launched-sliding thing on my stomach. It really hurt and I thought I was going to cry. I pulled my skirt back down (it was halfway up my hips) and got to the podium. Delivered a shaky and definitely not polished performance.

Had a big round of applause though but I know that was the British thing, applaud the clown.

I was so embarrassed that I scuttled back up the stairs, pitched forward again and landed face down, still clutching my presentation, trying desperately not to start sliding down the stairs backwards. There was like a shocked silence. I'm sure they thought I'd been drinking. I so wish I had.

I can't tell you the humiliation, it lives with me to this day and this thread has made me remember it. I laugh now, the bruises are long gone but I left very soon afterwards. I hate presentations.

Thanks for the remembrance, OP...

I'd won a prize, so was presenting at an industry conference. I was very junior so was a bit nervous and made sure I dressed extra smartly, asked sensible questions etc. My talk was on the final day, and we had a gala dinner the night before.

I managed to slip on the steps outside the venue (about half a flight of smooth marble). Apparently I fell quite gracefully, which wasn't much comfort with two bleeding elbows! And the next day I had a choice of presenting in boiling weather in a dress with plaster/grazes on show, or baking by leaving my jacket on. I'd had one glass of wine.

I fell over and landed on my lip on the steps at the tube station at 5.30am in the morning on the way to catch the Eurostar a couple years ago

Ended up in a and e with a split lip rather than Belgium. Was tempted to just plaster it up and head there anyway but it wouldn’t stop bleeding and was on my face. I’m not the vainest person in the world but didn’t fancy starting my new job the next month completely mashed up!

Cycling across a park in the Netherlands. I’d just shouted, ‘Isn’t the frost pretty?’ to DH, when my front wheel went one way and my handlebars the other. I slid across the frosty tarmac on my face and ended up in a flowerbed, wailing because my teeth had gone through my lip.

I fell over ice skating a few years ago in Belarus. I wasn't really hurt, just winded and a bit bashed but all these Belarusian ladies came rushing up to me and I burst into tears so they all thought I'd really done a number on myself. I was mortified

I missed the bottom step of the stairs last night and ended up in a heap in the hall

My right ankle is currently about twice the size of my left and hurts to buggery

I can’t get passed that you haven’t fallen over at least four times in a year so must have amassed at least 120 falls more than you. I currently have a cut knee and bruised thigh and usually have the bruises and abrasions often associated with small children.

DDIL was on nights and stayed over at mine with DS. I was tiptoeing around all morning getting the laundry done.
Carried a pile upstairs and tripped going up the top step.
I lurched crabways across the landing, headbutted DS's bedroom door open, staggered sideways across his room then fell over in a shower of pants. Stood up, announced 'your washing is done' and left with my dignity in tatters.

Oh goodness Lying, I've gone cold just imagining that!

First time my MS relapsed, I didn't realise my ankle was really weak. I had a special occasion, so stupidly decided to wear high heels. (I don't do heels very well at all) I fell over in public four times in one street. Even worse, I was carrying a coffee with mint syrup in, so it was green. It looked great on my blue dress.

I jumped up off the sofa to answer the phone, got some wool wrapped around my ankles by accident, fell and managed to break and dislocate my ankle.

At the time, the sorest bit was the huge graze on the other knee (think I was too shocked to feel the ankle, as the bone was sticking out and I was sick when I looked at it!!)

To anyone wrongly impressed by my non-falling streak, don't worry: there have been plenty of near-misses. Perhaps I've used all my luck up now?

I'm constantly falling over. It's almost a monthly occurance.

Ive fallen twice in one day and landed on the same knee. That was fun.

A few months ago I fell while carrying my company laptop and my immediate reaction was to save the laptop at all costs resulting in fetching grazes on my chin, both knees and both elbows and a bruised left boob. I still have a scar on my knee. My laptop is fine though

Walking the dogs round the block a couple of years ago. Bit wobbly, as normal for me due to chronic illness. I saw a bloke with a gaggle of young kids approaching, and some teenage girls not far behind them. One of my dogs was very nervous, so I stepped to one side to give them all plenty of room to pass, except that I stepped without realising onto a steeply sloping drive, went over sideways (holding aloft a full poo-bag) and basically slid/bounced down the drive on my shoulder, dragging the dogs with me. I looked up to see a semi-circle of small boys' faces peering down at me and the teenage girls walking past staring at me and absolutely shrieking with laughter. The lads and their father were very concerned, but I was propelled upright and onward by pure embarrassment and then had to walk the long way home with the entire right side of my body hurting to avoid the laughing girls. I was fine until I shut the front door and then just burst into tears like a five-year-old. Didn't even get any impressive bruises to show for it, either :(

Omg @Thelnebriati that made me giggle. A shower of pants 😂

I have a never ending list of 'the times I have fallen over', the last being last friday when I somehow skidded down the pavement on my knee and showed the world my knickers as my dress shot over my head, my family always laugh at me as I spend every summer showing off my delightful scabby knees.

mind you, I also spent 2 christmas's ago with a very glam plaster across my nose after I knocked my self out after tripping up some railings and being taken to hospital in an ambulance that some very kind teenage boys called as they thought I was dead