It has been thirty years since I proper fell over

[MutteringDarkly]

Fixed that tonight out on a run. Somehow tripped over my own feet and went down like a sedation-darted elephant. Now nursing all my bruises and grazes, with a particularly fetching peppa pig plaster on one elbow. FFS.

Please tell me some of you have achieved similar feats of elegance and grace?

not laughing @thebabessavedme not at all (assuming you were OK)?

When I was 18 I was coming out of sixth form walking down a flight of outdoor steps of about 20 steps . I slipped on about the 10th step down and slid all the way down to the bottom. This was in front of my entire year and in front of the boy I fancied. I laughed and got up and got on the bus and went home. As soon as I walked in the front door I was howling in agony and my leg was bruised and grazed and swollen. That was 20 years ago and I still have a misshapen bit on the bottom of my leg!

I fell over on VE DAY, I was just walking across a path towards my neighbours house, I was wearing flattish sandals,and carrying a glass fruit dish. My neighbour was going to give me some fruit and cream type of dessert,to be handed to me over a low hedge. I tripped over a jagged uneven flag stone, and went flying, I fell onto my right side, and cut my knee and elbow,plus landed heavily on my shoulder, and side of my head. The dish all smashed everywhere.. I was quite stunned for a while, but eventually stood up, so my neighbour said, hang on, I will get you a drink of tea,or would you like a glass of wine instead, I opted for the wine !

I was quite ok, but next day,I was in a kind of after shock,with stiffness and pain around all the affected areas. I am 78, and it's not the thing, to have an oldie falling down, neighbours had a laugh though.

1forAll74 that sounds like a painful moment. As a regular faller I am impressed you made it up without help... it gets harder every year. If I keep going down I might invested in some sort of human airbag. A whistle as well, last week I fell in the bathroom and called for help but was too feeble to heard, for me that was an indignity!

I fainted the other week (low blood pressure, stood up too fast) and DH just ignored me and carried on typing. DH said I fell so gracefully and slowly (like in an old film) he thought I was just messing about/playing with DS.
He felt bad after!

30 years!!! I’m lucky if I go 30 days without going arise over tit! I feel off the bloody bed a few weeks ago popped my lip and friction burned my face

Just before lockdown we were doing a Lidl shop. I had gone to return the trolly and DP usually drives out and I meet him at the car. I turned around and he was already behind me in the car, so I did that little jog where you think you’re moving faster but aren’t really, my ankle rolled and I fell over on the zebra crossing in front of the car. Skinned my knee and pebbles got lodged in my hand. Jumped back up and dove into the car a lovely shade of ruby red from blushing so hard. I’m not sure why I get embarrassed anymore it happens so often.

The worst was a few years ago I was walking a team of students to a volunteering session (it was in a place difficult to find if you’ve never been there before). We were just up the street from it when I didn’t see a kerb, rolled my ankle and fell over in front of them all. I was so embarrassed and had to walk them the rest of the way the way there , except I’d very much hurt my ankle this time. Through gritted teeth I got them into the place but had to call a colleague to come pick me up as I couldn’t make the 10 minute walk back to the university. A trip to a&e later revealed a lovely break and that was me in a moon boot and off work for several weeks

Yes, out of the loft!!! About 6 years ago putting Christmas presents out of sight! Me and DH were living with my parents at the time and had nowhere to store anything. I decided to wrap Christmas presents early, bag them in Christmas bags (You know the crappy Christmas bags with little rope handles ) and store them in loft ready to just take out on Christmas eve. My mom was helping to pass the bags up to me which I stupidly took by the handles, the handles ripped from the bag as I was bending down to take them from her, que head first out the loft hitting every step of the loft ladder on the way down and knocking my mom flying into the bathroom! Mom was ok, but I had a massive swelling on my head, a huge lump on my arm and my right leg was black from my hip to knee. Luckily no breaks I am now not ever allowed in the loft...

Right, so no kerbs, ladders, stairs, stages, bikes, ice or pets for me - and clearly if I can't manage my own feet in leggings, the complexities of PP's culottes are far beyond my range

Last year, DH, the kids and I took the dog for a walk at a local country park. The park has a big meadow area which slopes down to a massive pond. It had been raining so the grass was wet, somehow I managed to slip, fall and slide all the way down to the pond edge, with about 6 families and my family laughing hysterical at me. NEVER have I been so mortified in my whole life.

I fell off my flipflop a couple of years ago. I broke my foot in 3 places and was in a cast up to my knee for 8 weeks.

Fell. Off. My. Flip. Flop.

I have theory it's good to fall over occasionally, then you remember how to do it without doing major harm.

Right now I'm contemplating if I can reach the bedroom without falling over (drank some spirits earlier).

I had a spectacular falling over my own feet event last Friday night.

There might have been drink involved. No sympathy from DH either, despite my spectacular bruise.

These remind me of a poster on here who recounted the tale of her mishap in York, there was a big coat involved and a full on rolling down the street with people jumping out of the way to avoid the human bowling ball gathering speed as it descended.

Last July I badly hurt my ankle in a pothole in the pavement, only seconds after telling dd to be careful. Landed on my opposite knee and had to get an ambulance as I couldn't move. DD was more worried about her water bottle that I dropped in the process, never mind me. 2 months later whilst still recovering from that I fell off the high step that leads onto the car park of our apartment building, because again I was telling DD to stop pissing about or she will fall. I often walk in to door frames or trip on thin air.

Not too long ago I took DD to rainbows. I live too far away to walk home and go back so I usually walk across the nearby fields to kill time. Long story short, was chased by an unruly German shepard, got my ugg boot stuck in a mood patch, abandoned said boot to continue life or death run to safety and promptly fell into the duck pond. I did not enjoy picking DD back up from rainbows covered in swamp water. I would love to say this is the only time this has happened but I had a similar incident with a 3 legged grey hound. This is God's honest truth. Yes, I'm a bit of a twat.

*mud... Obviously. A mood patch sounds much less... Dirty

Got pissed slightly tipsey, went to bed with a pint of water, fell down the stirs on my way up and didn't spill a drop.
The bruises however

I once fell in the train station. Had heeled boots on ..not very high ..but I felt the heel slide out diagonally from under me on the shiny floor. Fell in a heap. Got rescued by a man with a white stick. As he picked me up he said “ I might be blind but I can see a big lump like you!”

@CassandraCross I’m silently laughing and shaking the bed here whilst DH is trying to sleep!

I'm generally not too bad. Have sprained my ankle a couple of times. Last time was about 2 years ago, getting out of the car to go into very busy local post office. I misjudged the kerb and my foot went right over. It was so embarrassing I jumped back into the car and tried not to faint. Abandoned post office business and somehow drove home at 20mph. I must have looked so strange

Went out for smart Xmas drinks, wore glamorous shoes from pre-DC life.
Drank danced etc, got home fine.

Sprinted upstairs for the obligatory pee and one of the four males in my household had been a little slapdash that night.

Both feet went sideways in the piss and I landed on the ball of my shoulder, cracking it clean in half.

Shamefully, it was the exact week the NHS has put a warning out to Xmas revellers, not to flood A&E’s with drunken injuries and a mother from school was womanning the reception

I was about to declare the flip flop a winner, but now I need to know more about the daring escape from the three-legged greyhound..?

I have a long list of accidents. Both fall related and non fall related.

Most recent fall: slipped down the steps of the excel centre in London. Caught myself on my left hand. Rotator cuff injury. (Still ongoing, about 7 months on high strength co codamol and no physio right now)

Numerous head bumps. Mainly on the corner of the kitchen cupboards. They're at just the right height to catch your temple if your daughter calls your name when you're bending over and you straighten up suddenly. Pretty sure I'm living in a permanently concussed state.

I even met my partner because I managed to fall into a pothole in the road, sprained my ankle and ended up on the nearest pub to sit down while the agony stopped. DP to be was in there having a drink with his brother and took pity on me in my distressed state and let me sit at their table because it was packed!

Damn have just realised how outing my post was. Oh well 😂

@MrsGrindah I'll have to see if I can find the post, the way the poster described it all had me in fits of laughter.