Dementors can dement but we'll keep it positive here

[hobnobsaremyfavourite]

New thread
Dementor free zone

It’s murder don’t you know 🤦🏻‍♀️♟

I am planning to skip around shop in a frivolous manner, hurling chocolate and crisps into basket and singing 'Oh what a beautiful morning' and edging closer to people who leap away from me.
Fully expect to taken away by the lockdown police. May stage one woman protest in the car park, sit down, sit down, eat chocolate and refuse to move.

two sit downs there. oops

Thank goodness for this thread. I was on the verge on deleting mumsnet as it got so depressing.

I went out on site for work today. But I also, shock horror, stopped the car outside a beautiful medieval church and had a cup of tea out of a flask while looking at it. Best thing I’ve done for weeks.

I've already bought some Xmas gifts. And Saturday, I walked 6 miles to buy 2 bottles of 12.5% wine. Daily exercise of over 1 hours, check. Doomed to lifestyle induced premature and gruesome death, check. Only 2 items of shopping (oh, wait, DD threw 3 cans of Impluse in), check. It's the Kiss for me.

We went for a 2.5 hour walk today to see some piglets that have just been born, and stopped at the Co-op to buy an ice cream on the way home 😳

When I went to the Coop the other day I drove home the long way, through beautiful spring greenness. I’m going to be struck by lightening, aren’t I?

That’s nice, Magda. I took a flask of hazelnut coffee on a nice long walk to a faux-gothic castle in a nearby woods the other day.

Ha! That makes it sound like I was walking the flask on a lead.

I beat you all. I've been on calls all day so confined to barracks.....so have just sent my very elderly (but not frail) father to the local supermarket to pick up some wine, chocolate and ice cream.

I'm a murderer 🤣

Well! I hope the wine and chocolate was worth it! People are DYING, ffs!! I despair

@Mascotte oh yes. We'll be enjoying those later whilst watching so,etching shit on TV

DH, who has never shown any inclination towards any kind of cooking before, has suddenly decided to use his reduced work (and pay) hours to take up baking. My street is having a social distanced street party on Friday, this thread has inspired me get him to find a curly whirly cake to make for it, which will obviously be responsible for the MURDER of thousands of people. If he succeeds and this thread is still running I’ll post the results on Friday.

There are plenty of dementors round here, judging by this sign! Judging by my social media feed, the country seems to be split 50/50 between people who are selfishly flouting lockdown and those who have become agarophobic and won't leave the house until there is a vaccine.

I don't know what happened to my photo there..it goes "It kills KIDS, like YOUR little brothers and sisters" and continues in that vein.

oooh Dementor bingo- i'd like to add:

"The second wave will be MUCH WORSE than the first!- do you not realise? we'll be stepping over dead bodies just to get to our corner shop! BODIES EVERYWHERE!" froths

also:

Herd immunity is a murderous idea- anyone who agrees with it likes murder

followed immediately by:

Sweden has it right- going for herd immunity!- but Swedes are much better than Brits at following rules and generally being much superior beings than the British

@ghost that's awful!!!

Is that a genuine photo? If so wtaf!!!

And yes, there's a peculiar subscription to the idea that brits haven't been observing the lockdown when actually it's far exceeded expectations.

@GhostsToMonsoon

I'd find it very hard not to laugh reading that, its so utterly ridiculous.

That dementor must be desperate for people's souls!

Also- only a few months ago:

"dont you care about people's mental health? - be KIND, some people are really struggling with their mental health"

Same person, last week:

"I dont give a TOSS about your mental health issues, lockdown should NEVER EVER end! People are dying because you cant just pull yourself together and sit on the sofa for a year!"

What about if you need to a shag with your married lover? Why hasn't Neil Ferguson been sent to Azkaban yet?

I know. Its soooo frustrating! Its revealing how quickly society has dropped the pretence of really valuing mental health, even though poor MH literally strips years off people's lives.

Can I add "when schools go back, social distancing ends" to the bingo. I mean it might but it doesn't need saying 17 times on each school thread. Also "also have you been around small children, they are always snotty, biting, coughing in people's faces in MURDEROUS ways"

Also mixing caps and lower case (meme style) in response to a query they think is stupid.