Dementors can dement but we'll keep it positive here

[hobnobsaremyfavourite]

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Dementor free zone

Ffs, that VE Day thread’s insane.

This whole place has gone utterly bonkers.

Cars? CARS? You think we’ll have cars after lockdown? We’re all going to get a 1/28th share of an elderly donkey and be glad of it.

There’s a lovely thread about a pink bathroom suite that’s keeping me going. They’re all lovely normal people on there.

Cars? CARS? You think we’ll have cars after lockdown? We’re all going to get a 1/28th share of an elderly donkey and be glad of it.

I have two large dogs and my plan is to rent them out when the donkey is fully booked.

I don't think you'll be allowed a donkey - they will almost certainly spread the virus.

In fact a donkey virus will probably jump to humans as a result of your irresponsible donkey behaviour and everyone knows the next pandemic is going to be far worse than this one.

Hi - I love this thread !

I accept no responsibility for donkeyvirus, I’m going to blame it on the selfish people flouting the donkey rota.

Don't you mean flaunting @GoldenOmber ?!

Love the idea of a flaunting donkey.

Yes, donkeys are like dromedaries, and dromedaries spread MERS. We are all just going to have to stay home forever, berating ourselves. We won't need any pink bathroom suites either, thank you!

I'm going to stop Dementor-spotting in the wild for a bit as I've got beer to drink and fun stuff to do, but another poster has said that she doesn't understand why some people are worried about money because the govt has guaranteed that no-one will get less money than they would on UC, and she's on UC and manages ok. I'd love to see some of the Dementors finding out how much they'd get on UC, never mind trying to live on it! Real life is better than TV, every time.

I didn’t think I had any dementors on my Facebook, but I’ve just realised I definitely do. It’s my auntie. This is an awful thing to say but she’s also not very bright .
Her most recent post says ‘please don’t let them that have died look down on us and see you going out in the sunshine and then they think they’ve died for nothing’.

Thanks @Alsohuman I'm on that thread. I'm very envious of the pink suite!

I want a donkey for VE Day on Friday, then I can ride around the streets flouting while flaunting my bunting.

Cars? CARS? You think we’ll have cars after lockdown? We’re all going to get a 1/28th share of an elderly donkey and be glad of it.

I could live in the car if times get hard, although in preparation for the times ahead I've adopted two donkeys for DH and I.

I love donkeys. Mules are bastards, donkeys are sweet.

Muleavirus ! Donkeys are not allowed.
Keep donkeys 2m away.
Protect the dementors.

everythingisginandroses if it's not too much of an oxymoron I'd like to sumbit the Pathologically Cheerful Dementor, who pops up on every thread about lockdown-related mental health issues to lecture us on how we shouldn't be looking for support unless we're dying/frontline NHS workers/in some third-world country without food or basic sanitation, and really what we need is PERSPECTIVE and RESILIENCE and to embrace the simple life by making organic hummus with all our free time. I have to say I really don't understand the logic that in normal times we're allowed to start threads moaning about all sorts of trivial shit, but now that just about everyone has something legitimate to complain about we should be more grateful and consider the starving orphans of the world. But hey ho

I've just looked at the VE Day thread again. Jesus, what a pit of misery! People being accused of celebrating war and the classics "enjoy your tea and cake, I hope it's worth it".

Just popped over to the VE Day thread. Honestly, I'm a Remainery internationalist forrin' who thinks the British need to move on from WWII and even I'm "WTF..." at some of those posts. Let people have their little bit of joy for God's sake.

I can’t even look at the VE Day thread!

Honestly, I'm a Remainery internationalist forrin' who thinks the British need to move on from WWII

Haha yes I’m one of those too, but I can imagine the dementors on that thread provoking me into putting up Union Jack bunting while eating cream tea and singing Rule Britannia from my front garden!

I had a peek at the V E day thread..
usual mixed bag of responses.
I've not heard of anything round my way!

It's a shame it can't be a nice normal bank holiday or a chance for people that wanted to celebrate it to do it properly instead of this socially distanced way of doing it which could prove tricky and send the dementors into one if their neighbours are out the front !
Bank holiday Friday sounds wrong though.
Too long only knowing Mondays!

I'll be having a cream tea with any luck, maybe I should tell them! Nothing to do with VE Day, I ordered a cream tea and Cornish pasties as we were supposed to go to Cornwall on Thursday. We should have been staying at Jamaica Inn on Thursday night so I decided to bring Cornwall to us!

My mum just rang and confessed that she'd flaunted the rules today, by going to her neighbour's allotment (alone) and then going out AGAIN for a jog She is in her 70s, so I'm not sure if she gets a pass because she's mostly endangering herself or if that's extra bad because now she'll 100% need a ventilator that could have been given to a young person.if it wasn't for her selfishness.

She was complaining about how the rules didn't make sense and that people just wanted everyone to be miserable, so I told her about the Dementors (had to explain the name as she hasn't read Harry Potter). She got a good laugh out of this thread