The Robbing Butcher - Bemused by the Patio at FrogMhor Cottage

[TheMustressMhor]

What next for the Robbing Butcher?

Will he wander past Mhor Cottage several times a day so that he can keep an eye on the progress of the patio?

Will Mr. Mhor's measurements turn out to be wrong? And will Mustress Mhor and her DH have too many SLABS as a result?

If they do, what will they do with them?

Will the eggs be dippy tomorrow?

Sign up below if you are interested in the answers to these pivotal questions.

Hippo I’ve found intermittent fasting the most effective for weight loss, also when I had 3 stones to shift I was regularly on a weight loss thread for support.
I also use apps, as the competitive element motivates me - for logging daily weight, fasting window tracker etc

yolo welcome back, what’s the status of the fence, fully painted yet?

7
I’ve found intermittent fasting the most effective for weight loss

That's encouraging.
It's what I've started doing (too early to see any results yet).

I was always one of those annoying people who complained about not being able to put on weight (I know! Karma is biting my ass* big time).
The peri-menopause just saw me getting the bosom I'd always yearned for. For a while I was very happy with my figure...

Then the menopause.

I've always been a long-waisted apple.
And we know what the menopause does to apples, don't we children...?

I'm at a weight that's fine for my height. My BMI is low.

And I look like somebody has stuck 4 cocktail sticks in a lemon and called it "LaMa".

It's sooo bad that when someone thought I was pregnant the other day I tried to "positively reframe" it as: "Well, at least I look young enough to be pregnant".

Today's a fasting day.
Can you tell?

*I'm not American. I just hate the sound of "arse" and never use it.
Until just now

Meant to add (hunger is making me forgetful )...

I chose the 5:2 because I'd rather go very low on 2 days than have to watch every calorie every day.
And I realise it doesn't mean I can scarf lard butties the rest of the time, but I like cooking and don't always want to be swapping yogurt for cream or marge for butter.

LaMa
I’m doing 16:8.
Hoping I have time for another sprog before the peri hits.

7

Hoping I have time for another sprog before the peri hits.

I hope so too.

There can't be too many baby 7s in the world

I've restarted 16:8 today.

I had planned to do it yesterday but discovered an unfinished bottle of gin (NOT pink, thankfully) and decided I had better finish it.

Oh, and then not buy a replacement.

All that Christmas sherry wasn't helping, either.

I always forget how many calories are in booze. I drink so rarely - except round Christmas time.

And it is now nearly Easter. No more excuses, Mustress.

And it is now nearly Easter. No more excuses, Mustress.

Bah!

We're only just into Lent!

And if alcohol is that bad, surely the clergy wouldn't keep forcing it on us every Sunday during communion...?

(Is what I keep telling myself )

7 that bloody fence is the Forth Bridge of fences. Painting it black looks amazing, but covering up the duck egg blue that was there is a bastard.

It is Still Raining. Dog won't even go out for a wee, which means I'm going to have to dig out the plastic trousers and souwester (for me) and take her for a bloody Walk, which means I won't be thriving.

I couldnt possibly give up drink, life would be too lifelike.

Full rain gear on for me and dog. She lasted exactly 10 minutes outside, but at least has done a massive pee - hoorah! She hid in the porch while I did some stuff with the chickens.

She hid in the porch while I did some stuff with the chickens

Hmm.

What exactly did you do with the chickens? It sounds nefarious.

I have gained seven kilos

And I know this because I went to the Practice Nurse for removal of sutures and got my HRT renewed.

She insisted that I needed to be weighed to get more HRT.

Fuck that. I have gained 7kg.

This is Not Good.

I am considering the intermittent fasting 😕. I think it would have to be 5:2 and not 16:8 as I want to eat with Mr Hippo. But dreading it really. I was hoping to just do a bit more exercise and eat healthy would do the trick, but think it is peri menopause... and wine.

Look on the bright side mustress, when the zombie apocalypse hits you will be able to survive, while the skinny people just waste away... HTH?!

Chickens are as mad as wet hens, despite significantly improving their weather proofing last w/e we need more Stuff to give them a palace to suit their requirements (does that sound like anyone else we know?!) So that's the plan for this w/e, upgrading the chicken run a la Frogmore. Although they are not getting a copper bath, that would be way OTT.

hippo if it ever stops bloody raining I will up the exercise - the dog is getting fat too.

Is the hens security provision adequate? 🧐

Having a pretty rubbish day.

The boiler started leaking. So I called a plumber. Turned out to be a Robbing Plumber (can I borrow your term Mustress?) Charged a fortune. He wants to change the whole boiler. But does not know exactly what the problem is, just that it is super dangerous. He had a strained phone conversation with Mr Hippo. Then he put a red “do not use” sticker on the boiler. And treated me as an idiot for not understanding that the boiler needs changing. And left in a huff.

Mr Hippo is away for the night and thinks it is raining in (it has before, but not from that place in the boiler). We had a phone conversation (after he spoke to the Robbing Plumber) and asked me to turn multiple white thingies I couldn’t find and treated me like an idiot for not understanding that the boiler NOT needed changing .

So what do I do?? It is on now so the children can have a hot bath. But considering putting everyone in multiple layers and turn it off over night. Mr Hippo is back tomorrow.

Having a big glass of wine and a bar of chocolate. That will go straight to my waist and bottom, but feel I need it. This iis so rubbish.

oh hippo! yes, hot bath, lots of layers, chocolate and wine (extra duvets?) and turn the fucker off. Let Mr. Hippo take a Man Look at it tomorrow. The kids wont need washing again, and no one will notice if you dont.

Thank you Yolo. On my second glass of wine, still miserable.

LittleHippo had a bath as did LittleBoyHippo. Both in layers. Only BigGirlHippo to go. Bath is on again (LittleBoyHippo to dirty, had to empty bath).

Am sitting next to the boiler, watching it and imagining that it is making strange sounds. Will turn the boiler off after bath is ready. I think I will have LittleHippo and LittleBoyHippo in my bed tonight. BigGirlHippo is almost my size, sleeps like a log and moves excessively in her sleep. She will have to stay in her bed. I have a plan!!

That sounds so shit, Hippo.

Get yourself down to Asda/Aldi/Argos and buy the cheapest electric blanket you can find. I cannot recommend them highly enough. When I am too stingy to put the heating on mid afternoon I have been known to slide into bed with the blanket on for a quiet read. (I tell Mr Fleas I'm popping upstairs to do some ironing. So far he has not rumbled me).

I'm going to have to sit on my hands again. Been on the H&M thread and I can feel my waspish side surfacing. And..breeeeeaaaaathe...

That is a great idea with the electric blanket Fleas! Sounds so warm and cosy!!!

I will look for one tomorrow- I cannot leave the little Hippos alone. BigGirlHippo is 11 and can just about be left for a short while, but not in charge of younger siblings.

you can get electric blankets that you put over you rather than under - we bought DM one and she loved it. Now very often used by the adult young yolofishes when complaining about how cold this house is while they lounge on the sofa for hours on end. (wimps). I think we got it from amazon.

That's a good point, yolo although that old wives tale, "one blanket under is worth two over" (or something like that) springs to mind.

fleas it is quite cuddly and strokeable though... and if they moved around a bit rather than lying on the big sofa in the living room watching the fucking Kardashians then they'd be warm enough not to need it!! Am keeping it for when I contract coronavirus...

Nice to see you Yolofish!!

The only thing not fat around here is my wallet. If it was as fat as my bum is now, I'd be truly satisfied. I'd be lavish in fact.

If you have an electric blanket on in a cold house isn't it shocking to have to get up to fulfill some mundane task elsewhere? I imagine a sensation similar to leaving a heated swimming pool in unheated leisure centre. I'd lie there forever shrouded and nothing would get completed. Nothing at all.

I need an electric nighty.

I feel your pain Mustress. Maybe I'll join you tomorrow. Although there may be something to the notion of the fatness being a useful way of Prepping. No risk of being raided by post-apocalyptic vigilantes either, unlike the traditional canned, dried and bottled goods, so I may wake up feeling determined to keep adding to my fat store and congratulate myself for being prudent

I don't know why it took me so long to discover electric blankets. My DC don't need them because they were reared in draughty old houses in various stages of delapidation and have developed admirable resilience to the cold. I feel my work is done.