Cousin Matthew Returns with the Robbing Butcher

[TheMustressMhor]

A thread intended for menus, cats and idle chit-chat.

Look at that plushie, just adorable!

I hope you get time to yourself now and then to rebuild strength and energy.

Ugh.

Crappy Set Texts Despised By Me:

Sons and Lovers

The Entire Works of Shakespeare

The Entire Works of Charles Dickens (Dombey and Son, I am talking about you)

Racking brains to think of the other boring fuckers.

Give me time.

Oh yes. Jane Austen.

William Makepeace Thackeray.

Huh.
Just...….....huh.

I am getting fed up of the dippy egg thread now.

Some people seem to have been constructed without a sense of humour.

Re - Thread 15 - I have never been so happy as the day I hid that piece of shit thread.

It is not worth the angst, comrades.

In other news, our village is allegedly going to be battered by 80 mph winds tomorrow according to DH, "so the patio will have to be put on hold."

Yea, right.

That just means he can't be arsed to do anything to it tomorrow and he's giving me a heads-up.

Ha ha. I shall insist that he cooks me another breakfast tomorrow so that I can tell you about the egg.

He does not know that there is a thread going at the moment about his inability to fry eggs to my specification. He does know about the Patio Slab Multiplication Possibilities thread.

Now I come to think of it, he doesn't know that our entire lives are pretty much laid bare on MN.

Mhor I hope your village survives the high winds. And all chickens survive and indeed thrive in this adverse weather otherwise how Mr Mhor cooks them is moot if they don’t survive.

Thanks yolo and 7Worfs she is a beaut She’s a cavapoo and frequently gets mistaken for a cockerpoo. She’s usually a good girl but she’s hit adolescence and is testing boundaries.

I’ve been enjoying Thread 15! It gets tiresome at times but we’ve been able to reset it.

Well.

Unbelievably, someone on the fried egg thread has suggested that Mr. Mhor "cooks my eggs in a passive-aggressive way".

Hmmm.

Is this possible, comrades?

That's quite an imaginary husband you have there, Mustress 😂

Quite jealous actually.

I want an imaginary husband!

Right!

He's really rich! And doesn't bugger off to do his hobby/read books about his hobby a lot (chess. He can't ride a bike either)!

And is never, ever caught dribbling at the sight of Victoria C-M when watching Only Connect.

Oh yes.

Speaking of quiz show hosts, it would help if he looked a lot like Richard Osman.

You fancy Richard Osman, LaMarschallin?

Anyway.

My "imaginary" husband is currently constructing a new bookcase for the bedroom.

He seems to have abandoned the patio for today.

This morning I requested a full breakfast, to see what the fried egg was like.

I should not have wasted my valuable time. It was hard again.

But I have discovered his "technique" WRT frying eggs:

• in the middle of cooking, Jewson's phoned regarding the delivery of the much-discussed slabs

• I took the phone to the kitchen so that he could sort it out

• he was turning the bacon and black pudding over when I entered the kitchen

• and the eggs were already in the pan, frying away.

So.…….

It is a timing issue and no mistake. There is clearly no need to start the eggs when the rest of the breakfast has about seven minutes to go.

Doh. Now what?

TheMustressMhor

You fancy Richard Osman, LaMarschallin?

Weeell...

It's one of those irregular verbs, innit?

I am not impartial to him.

You may say I fancy him.

They say there's a restraining order stopping me from handcuffing myself to him, posting the key down my cleavage and winking invitingly at him.

Trouble is, "they" are his lawyers...

**

I see your point.
I sounded a bit luke-warm about the tall, witty, glasses-wearing love god, didn't I?

he was turning the bacon and black pudding over when I entered the kitchen

- and the eggs were already in the pan, frying away.

Richard would never do that.

You're right - that's dreadful timing.

you must LTB mustress. EVRYONE KNO that you put the bacon etc to keep warm while you fry the eggs at the last minute.

Also agree with your book list - in fact, I think most 'classic' literature is to be avoided as incredibly dull and worthy and people only 'enjoy' because they make it thinks them look clever (apols to all those who really do love eg Austen/Hardy )

Afternoon everyone!

Ahhh so none of you will like my book collection 😂 (see below)
I love a costume drama! They are some of my favourite things to watch.

At least Mr Mhor is keeping himself busy? And at least you know about the eggs you can change his ways?

shark I cant stand costume drama! all that "la sir, you are a knave" drives me insane! having said that, I do love a bit of Georgette Heyer when I'm poorly so accept that I am inconsistent.

Sorry to say but I am not sure I am even surviving at the moment - managed to lock myself and the dog out of the house at 2.30. Happy half an hour dragging brambles on to the bonfire, then the heavens opened - no coat. No phone. Nothing to do. Cold. Damp. Resorted to tidying the shed. Luckily DH got home at 4.15, never EVER have I been so pleased to see him! Am having a restorative glass of and thawing out.

Ooo i like her too! I can never put her books down!
I love it all, and all the pretty dresses! I wish i had more reasons to wear pretty dresses!

Oh yolo thats horrible! I hope you are dried and nice and warm now?

Oh yolo that sounds very grim.

I hope you are nice and warm now and sitting with some

DISASTER AT MHOR COTTAGE

This very afternoon, the fan belt on the hoover broke while Mr. Mhor was doing the hoovering.

Let it be said straightaway that I have had a hoover on my Wish List at Argos for several weeks, along with a new fridge freezer and cooker.

I have been waiting for a discount code to appear in my inbox, as none of these items are vitally important. or at least, they weren't.

(Two years ago I got 20% off a new sofa by waiting for a code.)

Anyway.

The fridge freezer defrosts itself frequently and really does need to be replaced. Not urgently, but quite soon.

The cooker? The two front rings only work on full blast and it is impossible to turn them down. The oven itself works well.

So that isn't urgent, either.

The hoover has basically fallen apart but Mr. Mhor fashioned a repair with a bit of string and, as I say, I was waiting for a discount code to come my way before replacing it.

So imagine my annoyance when the fan belt broke today.

Mr. and Mustress Mhor will be obliged to pay full whack for the hoover.

Bugger.

I have managed to keep the high standards of cuisine apparent in Mhor Cottage, despite the two front rings being difficult to cope with.

And before anyone chimes in with "so THAT is why your fried eggs are overcooked" please be aware that Mr. Mhor always uses the back ring (right) to fry eggs.

was waiting for a discount code to come my way before replacing it.

I'd carry on waiting. How dirty can a house get?

I vented on No15 thread, PHEW, I feel light as a feather.

I hope your rant is entertaining 7Worfs, I’ve had a stressful afternoon and need some light relief

I'd carry on waiting. How dirty can a house get?

quite agree fleas. I did hoover the day before yesterday, but with the weather outside zero point in washing the downstairs floors. Totally zero point!